The Prince and Me
by Ruan Chun Xian
Summary: She was still in slight disbelief that she was sitting in the illustrious Fifth Prince's car, and he nearly ran her over! How many girls would sell their souls to be her! - Told in vignettes, with an abundance of tropes, fluff, pop culture rip-offs, parody, self-insert and Mary Sue
1. A Reworking of the History of China

_A/N: This idea has been playing in my mind for a very, very long time. Sometimes I get a bit bored with the 17th century setting and wonder, what would it be like if all the plot of HZGG actually happened in the 21st century? Well...a lot of things wouldn't happen, for one thing, with DNA testing being available. And polygamy wouldn't be possible. _

_But still, it stayed in my mind...how would everything change if this was modern day? And then the Korean drama, Goong came along...I have never watched Goong - I have very limited patience for K-drama, but I know the general idea. So what if China was a constitutional monarchy? It was possible. Emperor Guang Xu considered the idea. It just got shot down by Ci Xi, and then he died. But what if he lived longer and succeeded in making China a constitutional monarchy? (By the way, Guang Xu means Prosperious Succession, which is kind of a bitterly ironic reign name for the real emperor considering the emperor that comes after him was the last emperor of China.)_

_So here I will take the liberty of rewriting Chinese history, which means I really have to put a disclaimer here: No profit is being made out of any of this, no offense is being meant to anyone and all this is purely a result of my over-active imagination and written down for my amusement and hopefully, your enjoyment. _

_This fanfiction will consist of a series of random oneshot that might or might not be in chronological order, dealing what might happen if the plot of HZGG was moved to a 21st-century, modern day, constitutional monarchy China. Update might be pretty random and the chapters might not to flow after one another, but I will try to make things pretty clear about what is happening and when. _

* * *

**A Reworking of the History of China**

In 1875, Emperor Tong Zhi died, without issue and his nephew was chosen as his successor, to rule under the reign name Guang Xu, meaning Prosperious Succession. Being underaged, the government was actually rule through the joint regency of the Dowager Empresses Ci An and Ci Xi. Ci Xi was the birth mother of Tong Zhi. Indeed, however, Ci An concerned herself mostly with the domestic affairs of the court whereas Ci Xi controlled the state matters. However, in 1881, when Guang Xu was 10 years old, Ci Xi died suddenly of a stroke. Guang Xu being still under aged, this forced Ci An to take a more active role in matters of states. She would rule behind the curtain for another six years, and proved to be a shrewed ruler despite staying away from such matters previously. In 1887, when Guang Xu was 16, he was officially given the right to rule indepedently. In 1889, he married Lady Tatala who becomes Empress Ke Shun and her sister is made Jin Fei. Seeing the weaknesses of the old governmental system in China and seeing a time for change, during the next ten years, Empress Ke Shun assisted the Emperor in exploring reforms options to make China a constitutional monarchy. In 1898, near the turn of the century, the Bao Huang Reforms was enforced by Emperor Guang Xu.

Over the next 30 years of his reign, Guang Xu eliminated court exam procedures, industrialised China, slowly turned it into a constitutional monarchy run by paliarment consisted of the Inner House and Outer House. Parliament was chosen by tri-annually elections. The Prime Minister is head of government, consults with the Emperor, head of state. Polygamy was eventually made illegal. The succession did not revert back primogeniture but remained on a by-merit basis, where the Emperor would will the throne to the most capable Prince and appoint a Crown Prince or pass the throne through a will.

China did not play much role in the First World War. In fact, while the rest of the world were in turmoil, China used the rest of that time to straighten out its new system.

To symbolise that his son's generation would be the first full reign of a new China, the restarting of the Qing dynasty, Guang Xu decided that the generation name of his grandson would not be Heng like was to be expected, by reverted the naming convention back to the beginning, starting with Yin. (Yin Huang Yong Mian...).

In 1904, the Sixth Prince Pu Ming was born to Empress Ke Shun. In 1928, Guang Xu died, passing the throne to the 24-year-old Pu Ming who took the reign name Shun Zhi.

In 1927, Prince Yin Feng was born to Pu Ming. In 1954, Prince Huang Li was born to Prince Yin Feng. In 1958, Emperor Shun Zhi dies, Yin Feng becomes Emperor Qing Le. In 1979 Qing Le dies in an accident, Prince Huang Li becomes Emperor Rong Jing.

In February 1984, Prince Yong Qi was born to Rong Jing and Empress Xiao Xian. In the same year, Rong Jing visited Jinan, where he had an affair with a young woman named Xia Yu He, who eventually gave birth to an illegitimate daughter, Zi Wei in August 1985.

In 1989, the Empress Xiao Xian died from multiple scelorosis and was survived by the Emperor, five sons (of whom, Yong Qi was the youngest) and two daughters. In 1995, the Emperor remarried, and the new Empress Yi Shun eventually gave birth to two more princes and princesses.

**The Imperial Family Tree:**

Emperor Rong Jing (b. 1954)

-- m. Empress Xiao Xian (b. 1956, m.1974, d.1989)

---- First Princess He Jing (b. 1974)

---- First Prince Yong Ling (b.1976)

---- Second Prince Yong Zhong b. 1978)

---- Third Prince Yong An (b. 1980)

---- Fourth Prince Yong Lin (b. 1982)

---- Fifth Prince Yong Qi (b.1984)

---- Second Princess He Xin (b.1985)

-- m. Empress Yi Chun (b. 1970 m. 1995)

---- Third Princess He Jia (b. 1997)

---- Sixth Prince Yong Yan (b. 2001)

In 2002, just after Zi Wei's high school graduation, her mother died from cancer, leaving her no relative, and only a token, a fan and a painting given to her mother by her father. Zi Wei had to wait until she turned 18 in August 2003 to go to Beijing to seek out her father. Meanwhile, being an exceptional student, she worked hard as a tutor for the money to go to Beijing. In Beijing, she found it was extremely hard to get in touch with the Emperor at all and survived by working as a waitress at a cafe/restaurant. Here she met Xiao Yan, an orphan who just moved out of an orphanage, and was also studying for the national university exam to get into Yong Le University, one of the most prestigious universities in Beijing. Zi Wei moved in with Xiao Yan.

After a while, Zi Wei told Xiao Yan her secret. Xiao Yan encouraged Zi Wei to try for the university entrant exam too, and if they could both get into Yong Le on scholarship they might be able to meet the Fifth Prince Yong Qi who was attending the same university. Yong Qi's choice of university was considered to be a strange one, as the university was named after a Ming emperor and was famously attended by many students whose political ideal leaned towards anti-monarchy. They also found out that he was reading History and Politics, the former of which both of them were interested in studying.

Both Xiao Yan and Zi Wei passed the entrant exams with flying colours, being the two highest scorers and granted the only two full scholarships for History at Yong Le. They started university in September 2004, when both were 19. By this time, the Fifth Prince was in his second year, having started university a year later than usual, because he took a gap year. Despite making the front page, they didn't want to draw attention to themselves at university. They wanted to somehow meet the Fifth Prince but didn't want to come off as 'fans'. He got into Yong Le on his own merit rather than political influences and kept a low profile at university, though it was a tough order as his pictures were constantly in the newspaper...

* * *

**A few more author's notes: **

_Lady Tatala, in real life, was Zhen Fei, concubine to Emperor Guang Xu. _

_Regarding the Imperial family, because the Emperor has only one wife (at a time) and his children were born of the same mother - more or less - the family dynamic would be a lot different. I won't be focusing too much on the Imperial family, but just as a point of interest, Yong Qi gets on pretty well with all of his siblings._

_A lot of this fic would just be an excuse to write Xiao Yan Zi/Yong Qi in a modern context.  
_


	2. First Meeting

**First Meeting**

Xiao Yan cursed herself for the millionth time in that last hour. Of all the time to forget an umbrella, she had to pick that day. The rain was pouring down like someone had punched a hole in the sky. It was eight o'clock in the evening in the middle of winter, so no one was bothered to stick around campus. Everything was pitch dark and the rain felt like ice on her face. Her coat which had cost her the better part of a few days' pay to buy, was soaked through. It would take forever to dry, being so thick and she would probably have to go without it tomorrow.

_Great. _

She could only hope that her bag was protecting her papers and notes and that they would not be turned into mush by the time she got home. She couldn't wait to get to the bus stop and actually get on a bus and out of the freezing rain.

With that thought in mind, she raced across the main driveway of the university campus, rain covering her vision so that she could not see more than a few meters in front of her. The street lights did nothing to light the gloomy, dark and icy rain. However, suddenly a piercing sound of a car horn blasted through her ears, and she turned just in time to see a black car trying to vear sharply away from her. She fumbled and tried to get out of its way, and only managed to twist her ankle painfully on the slipperly road and fell in a heap in the rain. Her ankle throbbed on top of being cold and wet, and she felt absolutely miserable. Yet then, the only thought in her head was that there had better not be anything wrong with her ankle. She had to work tomorrow!

She vaguely heard the car door slam but didn't pay attention to it. She was too busy trying to pull herself up from the freezing puddle she was in but failing. Her heavy bookbag and water-logged clothes, her numb body would had made it difficult to stand even if she was not hurt. But the pain in her ankle was making it impossible.

Then a hand gripped her upper arm and gently helped her stand up, a male voice saying frantically, "Oh Heaven, I'm so sorry. Are you all right? I didn't see you - "

"I'm fine, thank - ouch!" she groaned in pain as she tried to stand on her left ankle. _Please don't be broken, please don't be broken_! Her scholarship did not pay medical insurance, which mean a broken ankle meant bills and no paycheck for a month, at least.

"You're hurt," whoever had ran her over was saying worriedly. "And you're soaked through!"

"I have noticed that, funnily enough," she snapped, more irritably than was polite, but she was having a very bad day and couldn't bring herself to care anymore.

"Come into the car, at least we can get out of the rain and then I can take you home. You're in no condition to walk anywhere on that ankle." What he said was a suggestion but the way he said it sounded more like an order and it annoyed Xiao Yan even more. She turned around to face the stranger sharply and glared. She couldn't quite make out his face in the rain and in the dark but she said scathingly, anyway.

"I'm not stupid, you know, I'm not going to get into a car with some guy I barely know, thank you. You haven't killed me so you can get wherever you need to be now, and just leave me alone."

She could see his jaw drop open at the cattiness of her reply but didn't care. She just wanted him to go away and leave her alone to her misery.

"I - I _am_ sorry, I didn't see you till the last minute. I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to help you. Besides you can't walk on that ankle, truly."

"So you're a doctor now?" she challenged.

"No, but I've broken enough bones to know that that fall meant you sprained your ankle, at least. Besides, don't you want to get out of the rain?" he asked.

Xiao Yan could not help but admit she was in a predicament. He was probably right, she could not walk on that ankle and the slippery road meant that she would probably end up breaking more bones if she tried to hobble to the bus stop and from the bus stop home. But to get into a car with a total stranger... She didn't believe he ran over her on purpose, of course, she was rather reckless in crossing the street. But still. But here they were, in the pouring rain, with a warm car just a few steps away. He was getting soaked the more she hesitated but he didn't move, and just supported her. She didn't realise until now that she had been leaning heavily on his shoulder and could feel the water dripping from his hair onto her face.

"All right. But I want the car door unlocked," she said firmly.

"If you wish, though you would kill yourself trying to jump out of a Porsche on that ankle. But you won't have reason to, I promise."

He took the heavy book bag from her, swung it over his shoulder and helped her hobble over to the passenger seat of his car. He helped her in and tucked her bag in the back seat. The inside of the car was blessfully warm, though she couldn't feel much of it, being soaked through. She was almost scared to sit down on the leather seat and soak it and told him so, but he just pushed her gently down and helped her with the seatbelt.

She played with her hands as she waited for him to walk around and enter the driver's seat. He sat down and turned to the back seat, flicking on the light. She turned to him and for the first time saw his face clearly. She managed to choke back the gasp in the last minute and kept her expression neutral as he turned to her, looking at her with a critical eye.

"How long have you been walking in the rain without cover like that?" he frowned. She knew she must had looked an absolute fright and wondered what on earth his impression of her might be now. What should it matter, though, she told herself. She never cared what people thought about her before. Why did she suddenly worry about what he thought?

"I - I was walking down from the library," she said, her teeth chattering. "I forgot an umbrella."

"Well that explains it," he sighed, and reached to the back seat, and gave her a male sports jacket. "Take off your coat and put this on," he said. "You inner clothes might still be wet but at least the coat won't soak through anymore."

"But - " she hesitated but he just pressed the coat into her hands. She sighed and silently did as he said. Meanwhile, he divested himself of his windbreaker, which apparently, was waterproof because his clothes underneath was all dry. He was wearing a royal blue wool jumper underneath that gave him a regal look. Naturally.

Her coat was thick and took most of the water, though her inner clothes were still damp. But the dry jacket did help somewhat and she wrapped the too-big garment tightly around herself.

Still, he didn't start the engine and it was beginning to unnerve her because he was still looking at her with a frown. She couldn't tell whether it was of concern or disapproval. She wouldn't had been surprised at the latter.

"You should take your shoes off," he said. "At least the left one. Your ankle is going to swell up and it would be even more painful later."

"You are very keen to undress me," she said, though the twitch of her mouth showed she was joking. For a moment, she wondered whether it was appropriate. Surely he must have rather many girls want to jump on him. What if he thought this was some kind of a pass on him?

However, he didn't seem offended and smiled. "I don't have a foot fetish or anything, I promise," he smirked. She was starting to see _why _so many girls were so crazy over him.

She blushed at the innuendo but couldn't help but see the reason in his advice. So she leaned down and eased her left shoe off her foot, wincing at the painful touch.

"Maybe I should take you to the hospital," he said worriedly. "You should have that looked at."

"No!" she exclaimed, probably too enthusiastically. "It's fine! I'm fine!" She didn't want to admit that she was reluctant to pay the fee that just going to a doctor to have the ankle bandaged at all would cost. If it was really broken, the cost of the cast and whatever else was not something she wanted to think about either.

He frowned again. Good Heaven, he did frown a lot, she thought. "That looks really serious, you can't not have it looked at, even if it's only sprained. You need it bandaged properly or you can damage it further."

"No - I - don't - I don't want to bother - "

"I nearly ran you over, I hardly think taking you to the hospital would be a bother."

She nearly groaned in frustration. He wouldn't understand even if she told him the reason. There was no way he would understand. But if it would stop him suggesting it, then she would admit it. She didn't care, being poor was hardly a crime! "I'm not sure I can afford it." She turned and looked at him defiantly.

He looked only mildly surprised, as if the thought never occured to him. Of course not. He would not ever have reason to think he could not afford something.

"I'll pay," he shrugged.

_Open mouth, insert foot. Wonderful, Xiao Yan._

"I didn't mean to hint - " she protested frantically.

"I know," he cut her off. "But seeing as I'm responsible for your injury, it's only right."

What was she supposed to say to that? Was she supposed to refuse _him_? She thought it probably wouldn't make a dent in his pocket but that was hardly the point! She didn't want to owe anyone anything, even if he did owe her, first.

"Or," he continued, "I could take you to my doctor, he could look at it without a fee. Well, more correctly, he's paid a yearly salary so it's all paid for anyway."

"All - all right," she said reluctantly. She wanted to get home and if this would make him get the car moving then she would have to agree. Besides, she had to admit the ankle was very painful.

"Let me just give him a text to tell him we're coming," he said, before drawing out his mobile phone. The sight of the phone nearly made her groan. She was expected home now, she was already running late before. Zi Wei must be frantic already, especially considering the weather. She didn't have a mobile phone, of course. It cost more than she made in a forthnight, plus bills.

After he sent the message, he looked over to her uneasy expression and asked, "Do you want to call your family to tell them where you are?"

"I - just my flatmate, thanks," she stammered. He showed her how to dial and call, and she nearly dropped the phone, as cold as her hand still was. He _still_ didn't start the engine but just waited.

The phone was picked up on the first ring and Zi Wei's worried voice sounded out. "Hello?"

"It's Xiao Yan," she said.

Zi Wei gave a sigh of relief. "Where are you? It's pouring and I was getting worried."

"I'm fine," she hurriedly assured her friend. "I'll - I'll be home in a couple of hours." That was a wild guess. It took an hour by bus to get home from the university, and who knew where his doctor lived? Though it might considerably faster in a Porsche. "I'll explain when I get home, I promise. I have to go. I'll see you later."

She hastily hung up and probably ended up worrying Zi Wei even more. But she could not tell Zi Wei now, right there, in whose car she was sitting and with whom! She handed the phone back to its owner and he tucked it in his pocket before _finally_ starting the car.

"Your name is Xiao Yan?" he stated more than asked, since it was pretty obvious.

"Yes," she said as she watched the car move through the familiar university road. She didn't elaborate that she was found on the orphanage doorstep on a bright summer day and there was a swallow on a tree nearby. She didn't tell him that people were sure she was abandoned by her parents because she was a girl and the one child-policy that applied to everyone but those rich enough to afford a permit and go to court for an appeal to have more children was probably the reason for her dependency of the institution.

"I'm - " For the first time that evening, he hesitated a bit. She wondered for a moment whether he'd tell her his real name. "I'm Yong Qi," he said finally. He didn't elaborate anymore but he didn't need to.

"I know," she whispered.

"Do you?" he asked mildly. She could not discern what he thought of her reply. She was still in slight disbelief that she was sitting in the illustrious Fifth Prince's car, and he nearly ran her over! And now she was wearing his jacket. How many girls would sell their souls to be her! She nearly laughed at the thought and could not hold back a smile.

She didn't know whether he saw the smile but he seemed focused on the road. She said, a little hesitantly, "I didn't - well - I wasn't sure whether you would want to tell me your real name so I - "

"What if I had not tell you my real name?" he asked curiously.

"I could hardly blame you," she shrugged. "It can't be easy..."

"I don't lie about who I am," he said softly. "It's not worth it, to be honest, and it hardly ever works. But thank you, anyway."

"For what?" she asked, surprised.

"For the chance to be anonymous, if I chose. I'm too used to people...well...reacting to my presence that it's rather a nice change that you waited for me to introduce myself first."

"Well, you wouldn't jump at a total stranger, even if you knew their name, demanding to talk to them, normally, so why should it be different with you?" she asked simply.

He looked mildly surprised. "Well, it's not as if anyone sees it that way," he shrugged. "Being public property isn't a nice job, to tell the truth."

"That's stupid," she said, wrinkling her nose. "No one should _belong_ to anyone."

He turned to her with amazement now. It was lucky that they were waiting under a red light. "Try telling the newspapers that," he chuckled.

She looked down. She didn't know why she was so reluctant to meet his direct gaze, but the way his eyes sparkled warmly at her made her almost...scared. She should have no business being anywhere near him! The contradiction of her being best friend with his half-sister was mocking her, of course, but still, Zi Wei was different. No one knew she was the Emperor's daughter. _He_ was born and bred a Prince...it was _different!_

He drove in silence for a little while and she was almost sure he would not speak to her again. Then he spoke. "What were you doing at uni so late? In this weather, everyone just can't wait to leave."

"I have a paper due next week and I don't have a computer at home, so I have to stay to do some research," she said. It must be bizarre, in this day and age, to not have a computer at home. But still, she was not afraid to admit it. He had been honest with her, she would be the same, even if it meant he looked down on her.

He didn't, though and just asked, "What's the paper for?"

"HIST1102," she said, thinking he probably knew what the course code was for. He probably took the course.

"Twentieth Century Qing Dynasty?" he asked, confirming her theory. "You read History?"

"Yes," she answered, "History and English."

"Wait, Xiao Yan...you are not by any chance the girl who got one of the full scholarships, are you?"

"Erm...actually..." she blushed. "I am."

"Oh! Wow, congratulations!" he said with genuine feelings. "I know it's a bit late," he smiled.

"Oh, no, thank you," she said, blushing. "I still can't believe it sometimes. I can't believe you actually know about it."

"Who didn't know about it?" he chuckled. "It was all over the campus papers. Didn't you score a perfect 10 on all the entrant exam subjects?"

"No, that's my friend, Xia Zi Wei," she laughed, feeling a little flustered at mentioning Zi Wei to Yong Qi. And that had been _his_ university exam results too, which was plastered all over the newspapers a couple years ago. She remembered but didn't mention it.

"So you got 10 on two subjects and 9.5 on the last two," he nodded. That he remembered this was amazing, of course. "And I can't believe you two know each other too. Well, I always thought you were related, since you have the same surname," he mused.

"I suppose that was how we became friends. We had the same surname, and our birthdays were so close together. Anyway, she's one of my best friends, so we kind of rub off each other, I suppose. Besides, it's the only way we could ...go to university at all, really."

He nodded, "I forget sometimes, that I am luckier than most. I could fail everything all together and probably still can be here. But then there are students like you and I don't think I would deserve to be here if I didn't work at it and I don't like failing, so..."

"You did very well, yourself," she observed, wondering how he would take the understatement.

"Well, some people were skeptical whether it was real," he laughed. Then he changed the subject, asking, "What's your paper about?"

She squirmed. She didn't know whether she wanted to tell him. It was probably very close to home for him. "Comparing the internal policies of the late reign of Emperor Guang Xu and the early reign of Emperor Shun Zhi."

They talked for a while about her paper, going off tangent into Guang Xu's initial reforms, and he gave her some rather...radical views that was decidedly not what Manchurian historians would normally lean on.

"You seemed surprised," he chuckled after telling her that he thought Guang Xu would probably would never had managed the reforms if Ci Xi had lived longer because the Empress Dowager would have kept an iron grip and not let Guang Xu be so indepedent like Ci An. Contemporary Manchurian historians practically thought Guang Xu was a god for the reforms that saved the monarchy from collapse and no one would ever think to say that he could not do something. "I know it's not very...conventional, but what's the point of historiography if we all agreed? We would never know what would have happened, otherwise, but that's half the fun of studying it, really."

"I don't necessarily disagree with that view," she said slowly, "there's evidence to support it, accounts of Ci Xi's power. But well - for you to say that - "

"I read too many of the disturbing fawning Manchurian schools of thoughts to really take it for granted. History is written by winners, after all."

She boldly asked, "What did you write the term paper about when you took this?"

He smirked, "Emperor Qing Le's alternatives to the appointment of Prince Huang Li to the succession."

He wrote about his _father_'s succession to the throne?

"I was pushing it a bit, with the timeline. On principle, it would just have to have happened more than fifteen years earlier to be legitimately considered as history, but in this case, seeing as the subject of the paper was still on the throne, technically it was a bit iffy. When I told my father about the subject, I'm not sure whether he wanted to forbid me from writing it or encourage me. Professor Chen was terrified when gave him my research proposal but he couldn't find anything wrong with it to reject it. I did have a constigency plan but it wasn't nearly as interesting. The concern, of course, wasn't even that I was researching the reasons for my father's succession, but the _alternatives_ to it. Thank goodness the press never got hold of it, it would had made a field day."

"Dare I guess at what your conclusion was?" she smiled. "I mean, there were alternatives, there always are."

"Yes, of course. But with as much objectivity as I was able to hold, I had to conclude that my grandfather made a reasonable choice. There were huge limitations of a certain degree of bias to that conclusion, of course, no matter how objective I try to be."

With that, he edged the car into the drive way of a huge rich-looking villa and took out his mobile phone again. "Dr Hu, we're downstairs, can you please bring an umbrella down for me? Thanks."

They waited in silence for the doctor to come down with the umbrella. It was not a long wait, and the silence was not entirely uncomfortable, but she hardly knew what to do with herself and was glad when the front door opened and a man rushed out with a huge black umbrella.

"Stay," he said to her as he got out of the car, the doctor rushing over to cover him. He helped her out of the car and the two men guided her inside. The conversation had made her forget her ankle and now the pain returned worst than ever. It was swollen twice its normal size. She wondered how on earth she would be able to go to work tomorrow.

The doctor took them in to his clinic room. If he had an question or amazement at the Prince showing up at his house at such an unconventional hour, with a random injured girl, he didn't voice it but just treated her carefully. He concluded that he ankle was indeed sprained badly and that she would need to keep off it for a month. Xiao Yan really groaned at the thought. A month! How was she supposed to go to classes properly, much less to work? The doctor bandaged her ankle tightly and gave her a set of crunches. It amazed her that he just happened to have them lying around, even if he was a doctor. Yong Qi waited outside the entire time and the doctor asked him to make sure she didn't try walking on it too early. She nearly laughed at the thought. As if she would see him again for him to keep track. Still, the idea of not being able to walk properly for so long worried her, but she was too tired just then to really make herself think about it.

Once they were in the car again and he had backed out into the streets, he finally asked. "Where do you live?"

She gave him the address and he raised an eyebrow. "So far? How do you get to classes everyday?"

"Bus," she shrugged.

"Still," he said. "How far from the bus stop to your place?"

"About half an hour's walk," she replied.

"You can't walk that far on that ankle," he frowned.

"It's ok," she said. "I'm used to it. It would just take a little longer."

"I'll come pick you up on Monday," he said. What? He probably felt guilty about her ankle and all, but he couldn't come pick her up! That would just be going half way around the city and then doubling back!

"No, I'll be fine, don't worry, you don't have to feel responsible for this," she said hastily.

"I would want to pick you up regardless of whether I ran you over or not," he said simply. "You can't take the bus on that ankle, especially at rush hours. You'd just get trampled and probably break it, then I feel worst."

"It doesn't matter," she protested, "I can't possibly make you my _driver_!"

"If you're uncomfortable about _me_ driving you, I could send - "

"No, it's ok!" she insisted. "I would feel worst if you sent a _car _for me and pay for it."

"Don't worry about _that_, I have four security service cars following me everywhere I go, it's paid from _your_ taxes. If I sent one to you, I would hardly die from it and it would be of use to , alternatively, I could pick you up."

"Don't you think it would look...weird? Porsches don't really belong where I live."

"And yet you're letting me take you home now," he grinned.

"As if you gave me a choice," she grumbled. "Besides, you shouldn't go around inviting to drive random girls."

"You're not a random girl," he said softly, with an expression she didn't understand. "You're..._different_."

"Different?"

"Yes. From the beginning. You would have ignored who I was if I gave you a false name, remember? No one else would do that. See, even the fact that you're refusing says a lot already."

"So that entitles you to drive me around?" she asked, puzzled.

"Well, it just means I won't be sorry to know you better and I did run over you, causing you to be injured. It is the least I could do to make the recovery easy for you."

"I just - " she squirmed. He was a Prince of the Empire, and yet he was offering to chauffeur her around? She could hardly refuse as much as she couldn't say yes either!

"I can send a less...conspicuous car if you prefer," he offered.

"It's not the car," she protested. "It's the fact that I have a car picking me up at all would make the neighbours...talk."

"You care that much?" he asked.

"You don't?"

"My life story is in the newspaper," he sighed. "Sometimes I half believe it myself."

"I don't care, exactly, but it's just...weird," she finished lamely.

"You'd kill yourself trying to walk so far everyday on that ankle," he insisted still.

She was stubborn, but apparently so was he, even more so, as he probably was used to getting his way, no matter how down to earth he seemed so far. By the time they neared her flat, she had to give in to his suggestion that he come pick her up on Monday for class. She really would regret this. She _would_.

On the other hand, it might end up helping Zi Wei. She didn't dare think that she could become his ..._friend_, but perhaps, somehow, sometime, they could tell him Zi Wei's secret. Perhaps he wouldn't believe them but...it might be worth it.

Now that they were moving into her neighbourhood, she could see the cars trailing them more clearly. They stood out, rich against the poorer backdrop of dingy bicycles and rusty motorbikes and next to no car at all. She wondered what it must be like to have people following you everywhere.

Yong Qi had turned on the GPS, clearly never been in this neighbourhood before. She could have just told him where to go but he seemed adapt enough with the navigation device.

"Your ...guards must be wondering where on earth you're going," she said hesitantly.

"It's none of their business," he said shortly. Then, after a pause, he sighed, "Well, it kind of is, but they don't need to know why unless it endangers me. They are under a strict and very complex secrecy oath."

"Do they tell someone where you go?" she asked.

"Not if there's no problem," he said.

"And how do you know I'm not luring you down some dark alley way?" she smiled.

"I know you're not," he said simply. "For all my life, I've met all kinds of people. You are too...genuine for any of that. Contrary to what you may think, and what I have been insisting, I _don't _randomly offer to drive girls around."

"You barely know me," she said.

"I've seen enough," he smiled, stopping in front of her building. Right now, she was glad that her flat was on the ground floor and that the rain had finally stopped.

He rushed around to her side of the car and helped her out of her seat, refusing to let her use the crunches.

"What was the point of giving me them if you won't let me use them?" she asked.

"What's the point of my being here if I let you hobble around on crunches?"

The other cars were parked a few meters away and one of the occupants hurried over to them, taking the crunches away from Yong Qi's hand so that he could help her. It was one of the security officers, who Yong Qi just asked to grab Xiao Yan's bag and coat from the back seat as well.

She didn't even bother to try to find the key in this darkness and just rang the door bell. She had expected Yong Qi to leave her at the door but apparently he was going to see her in.

Zi Wei opened the door and asked immediately before she even saw Xiao Yan, "Where have you been, and why didn't you just open - "

She stopped short when she realised that Xiao Yan was injured and definitely not alone. In fact, the sight of her accompanied by two men was astonishing. What was more astonishing was one of them was the Fifth Prince. That was probably even more alarming to Zi Wei considering this was her _brother!_

"This is my friend, Xia Zi Wei," Xiao Yan said to Yong Qi. "And this is - er - "

"Yong Qi," he said, solving her dilemma of how to refer to him, sticking his hand out to Zi Wei. Zi Wei was holding herself up admirably, and shook his hand even though Xiao Yan knew she must be fainting inside.

Xiao Yan felt that she must at least invite them in for a drink though it was late, and Yong Qi refused anyway. "I must get going before I put the city in a state of national emergency," he smiled. "I'll see you on Monday, Xiao Yan."

She only managed to say goodnight faintly and watched as they left the building. Then Zi Wei practically dragged her inside, despite her ankle and demanded as soon as the door was closed. "Explain!"

"Let me sit down first," she groaned, collapsing on the sofa. That was when she realised she was still wearing his jacket.

"Whose jacket is that?"

"The Fifth Prince's," she answered, slipping it off. "I'll explain, everything, I promise. But can I just get out of all this wet stuff first?"

Zi Wei hovered uncharacteristically impatiently by her as she changed out of her wet clothes, put it through the laundry long with his jacket and her coat. Then finally, they sat down on her bed. Slowly, Xiao Yan told her the extraordinary happenings of that night.

"I can't believe it," Zi Wei said faintly as she finished. "How's your ankle?"

"It's fine, just sore."

"You can't possibly go to work tomorrow," Zi Wei frowned.

"No," Xiao Yan sighed. "Not any time soon, apparently."

"We'll work something out," Zi Wei assured her.

"Yes, yes, we will, later. But how are you feeling?"

"I - I don't know," Zi Wei said, her voice shaking. "I've pretty much given up the thought of ever getting in touch with anyone who could help me - but this - "

"Well, he insisted on picking me up on Monday, I don't know what happens after that but still...it might be a chance for you to get to know him and maybe eventually...tell him?"

"Do you think I could? Would he believe me? Besides, wouldn't he think that's why we want to spend time with him in the first place?"

"_He_ insisted on driving me," Xiao Yan said. "I - it feels weird, Zi Wei to have such an offer from someone like him. And if he would drive me, well, we have to talk about _something. _I think he would believe you. I don't know. He's not what I expected. He seems so...normal."

"Really? What did you talk about on the way here?"

"My essay, he gave me some interesting tips for resources. Then we argued about whether he should come pick me up on Monday."

"Xiao Yan, I - I don't know!" Zi Wei fairly wailed.

"Sssh...maybe we should just forget about...things for the time being. Just get to know him, as a person, rather than think of him as a Prince. I think he would appreciate that, at least. Then we can figure things out later. We can't rush into this."

"Of course, you're right," her friend sighed. "I just - it's such a shock, Xiao Yan."

"I know. But it's late. You at least, have work in the morning. Go to sleep, we can talk about this later."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Because of her ankle, she was for the near future, unable to work, so the weekend had never seemed so long before. She was lucky, at least, that the restaurant where she worked, her boss actually liked her so allowed her the leave, unpaid, of course. A part of her wondered why she was so shocked at meeting the Fifth Prince, considering they went to the same university and were of the same faculty. It was only a matter of time before they ran into him. Well, she didn't quite expect 'running into him' so literally.

The break from work, however, meant that she had the house to herself while her friend went to work, making her feel rather like a lazy bum. It did, however, give her ample time to go through the books and research she had done and put her ahead for her essay. She started drafting it long hand and wished that she could just cite the Fifth Prince as a source of historiographic interpretation. Just as she was thinking this, the phone rang. Xiao Yan glanced at the clock, confused. Who on earth would be calling at this hour?

"Hello?"

"Xiao Yan?" a surprisingly familiar voice sounded out from the other end. "It's Yong Qi."

"Oh. Hi," she said, managing to push back her astonishment. Why was he calling her? Actually, how did he know her number?

"My mobile phone records the number when you called last night," he answered sheepishly when she asked. "Sorry, I should have asked you whether you wanted to delete the number."

"No, it's ok, I was just surprised. And I forgot to give you back your jacket. I've washed it and I'll give it back on Monday."

"Don't worry about it," he said. "That's not why I called."

Why _did_ he call? She could hardly ask him that, of course.

"I just wanted to check whether you're all right. How's your ankle?"

"Oh, it's fine. It stopped hurting after a while. Or maybe I just got used to it."

"Good, just try to keep off it," he warned.

"I know, I'm working on my essay. You know how you said yesterday that Shun Zhi's early years there were several attempts to restore the old system? Do you have the sources for that?"

"I do, but you won't be able to get your hands on them in a library. They're in the private palace library, the incident was hushed up at the time and right now it's only available in the palace records. I can get you a copy if you want, it would be a legit source, but you might want to be careful basing too much of your arguments on it. It would do as a reference point, but it won't have much support from other literature and you might end up with a floating argument."

"Hmmm...would you mind? It would be an interesting background reading, at least."

"Will you be home the rest of today? I can bring it around in a couple of hours if you want to get on with it straight away," he said.

"Oh, Monday will be fine," she said. "Don't put yourself through too much trouble."

"No trouble at all," he assured her.

So for the next couple of hours, she tried to tidy up the house with an overly critical eye. This was ridiculous, she didn't get fussy like this with any other people from uni, so why should she feel the place was so inadequate to receive him? He didn't comment about the obviously rather poor neighbourhood the night before though he must had realised. And he was offering to come back, whereas normally she would have thought someone like him would not be caught dead in a place like this.

She nearly jumped out of her skin as he rang the door bell. She needed to get a hold of herself, it was not like her to be this jumpy. She managed to get to the door and opened it, finding him standing there in jeans and a black jumper over a light blue collared shirt. He was also holding a folder of paper.

"Hi," he smiled at her.

"Hi, come in please," she tried to smile back nervously, not sure whether she succeeded and beckoned him inside. Well, she tried to do that anyway, while leaning on the crutches that she was still learning to use. She led him into the kitchen, where her papers were spread out all over the small table. "Well, that's it," she said, gesturing towards the rest of the flat that could be see from the kitchen. She had forgotten that she was leaning on the crutches for balance and nearly stumbled as she let go.

"Careful," he said, reaching out to steady her. "Really, this is why I'm insisting on driving you."

Xiao Yan blushed and didn't meet his eyes. "Thanks," she mumbled. "Do you want anything to drink?"

He just shook his head, smiling, "I want you to get off that ankle. Don't worry about me."

She reluctantly sat down and they started talking about her assignment. He seemed very interested in it, but then again, this was about his ancestors. He showed her the passages that might help with her essay from the photocopies of records that he brought.

"All these are not original versions, of course, but electronically transcribed. The handwritten originals are preserved in the Imperial History Museum but these transcribed records are not made public. I guess after a hundred years, the habit of withholding historical information for propaganda purposes still can't be broken."

"But people do know of this, I mean it's been transcribed and everything?"

"Only a handful, and they are not at liberty to publish too many public material on it, even if they may have theories in memoirs, probably left in the family. One day it would all come out...eventually. My professors are used to my quoting obscure sources that they would not be able to check in public libraries. Sometimes I think I could make a few things up and source it to the Palace Library and they would not bat an eyelash. But then I can't bring myself to," he chuckled.

"Though in theory, they are allowed to demand to see sources if they are from private libraries?"

"Yes," he answered. "Of course if they ever asked, I could produce it. But they don't as soon as I put in Imperial Private Publications as a source."

They spent over an hour on the assignment and yet Xiao Yan had to admit she never passed a faster hour.

"Thank you so much for this, you didn't have to do any of this, you know," she said gratefully.

"Don't mention it," he smiled. "All my essays for this semester are done so I'm pretty much set and exams are not for another month."

"What subjects are you taking this semester?" she asked curiously.

"History-wise, Theory of the State, Pre-20th Century Qing Dysnasty, which more accurately covers the fall of the Ming as well, and it was...ah..._interesting_ considering there were a few quite fierce Han-Nationalists in the class. I don't have anything against them, per se, and the exclusive Manchurian marriage laws are no longer in place, though still in practice, the infiltration of Han _is_ coming into Manchurian clans. But let's just say it makes interesting debates."

Xiao Yan said thoughtfully, "I just wonder why the History subjects just go backward in time. Isn't it better to start off with the beginning of the dynasty?"

"Well, in theory, yes, but in away I suppose if you think about it, pre-20th century Qing is three centuries, and it's a lot of material to cover. And while studying 20th-Century, you do have to go read up a lot on the 19th century reigns to understand their repercussions, so you are kind of preparing for part of that. Are you doing Chinese Globalisation in the 20th-Century?"

"Yes, it's a co-requisite with 20th-Century Qing."

"I'm taking Politics in Globalisation now, and it covers much of the same things but a lot more current issues."

"What else?"

"Language and Politics and then I'm learning Arabic."

"Arabic?" she stared.

"It is a rather obscure choice," he agreed. "But it's different. I debated about learning German but then somehow I decided I wanted to learn another alphabet."

"Do I dare ask how languages you speak?" she looked at him warily.

He laughed, "Mandarin, Cantonese, Manchurian, Mongolian, Japanese, Korean, Russian, English, French and Spanish - how many is that?"

She counted for a moment, then said in awe, "Isn't that like, six different alphabets and writing styles? Plus Arabic is the seventh."

"Well, some of it I can't get out of. Obviously Mandarin, Cantonese, Manchurian and Mongolian are a given. Russian, Japanese and Korean are useful considering China's proximity to them. English is a must. I suppose the only "choice" I had in languages were French, Spanish and Arabic, and they are some of the most commonly spoken languages in the world. I suppose I will get around to German sooner or later."

"I can only speak English," she said, feeling suddenly rather inadequate.

"Did you take Manchurian in school?" he asked. Though Emperor Guang Xu had reformed the country with modern ways, he was also famous for the restoration of the Manchurian language, which, by his time, was dying rapidly. Now, secondary schools gave Han students the choice of studying Manchurian as a second language.

"Yes, but my Manchurian is appalling. Don't try to talk to me in it."

"It would help you study history to be able to read Manchurian decently at least," he said.

"I know, but it all looks completely unnatural to me. I can read, but at a very, very painful pace. Just don't make me speak it. I speak English fine and didn't have that much trouble learning it but Manchurian is a nightmare. No offense."

"Not at all," he smiled. She thought he looked rather amused at it all.

"I seriously don't understand how you learn all those language," she shook her head.

"Well, as soon as I was learning to talk, it was Mandarin, Cantonese, Manchurian and Mongolian at the same time, with some English thrown in, which sounds rather daunting now but I think as a child, it's so much easier to pick up. Then for writing, Mandarin and Cantonese are the same, Manchurian and Mongolian are very similar. I had a tutor for my primary education so it wasn't until secondary school that I went to an actual school. Having a tutor meant that I was drilled more in languages as a foundation and it makes school hours flexible so that somehow, I manage to cover every other thing in the curriculum as well. Also you get a lot more done on a one-teacher-one-student basis than in a huge class. I randomly speak to my friends who speak the same languages just to keep in practice."

It took Xiao Yan a moment to contemplate and take in the casual way he refered to such a phenonmenal achievement. Then, Yong Qi grinned cheekily, "But I think that's enough about me, you can find out the rest from the newspapers."

Xiao Yan sniffed disdainfully, "Tabloids are not exactly a reliable source, are they?"

"Ever the historian, but no," he chuckled. "But yet so many people believe them and then claim they know everything about me."

"I don't think that even if you spend your entire life with a person, you wouldn't know _everything_ about them," Xiao Yan sighed.

"Ironically enough," Yong Qi mused, "most of what I know about you is from the newspapers, as well. Even then that wasn't a lot."

"I'm not sure I know what the papers says," she said. "I didn't really read them."

"And I'm not sure I want to put stock in what I read in the papers. All I know for sure, from you, is that you go to the same uni as me, study the same degree, you can't speak Manchurian and I know where you live, all which is a lot less than what you know about me."

"I thought you said one shouldn't believe what the papers said?" she asked innocently.

He chuckled, "But of course, certain things are just common knowledge. You obviously know who my family are and all that. So what else should I know about you?"

"I'm not sure there's much to know," she shrugged. "I grew up in an orphanage and know nothing about my family background. My surname, Xia, was given to me because I came to them in summer and my birthday was the day they found me. They had to guess the year. I don't think there are prizes for guessing why I was in the orphanage in the first place. The only thing I have to identify me is a jade necklace they found on me but it doesn't help much."

He wasn't looking at her with the pity that she was so used to getting from people whenever she told them this and she was grateful for that. Not that she went around telling everyone she met this. She wondered why she told _him_ this early. It wasn't even that he asked her to. He had asked, but she was sure she could have refused. But still, perhaps it was that she knew more about him than he knew about her, and he didn't get to control what she knew about him. And somehow, his rank and titles aside, he made her feel more comfortable than anyone else had ever done, except Zi Wei, despite their short acquaintance.

"Have you ever tried to find out about your family?" he asked.

"What would be the point?" she asked back. Indeed, if she had been left in front of an orphanage as a baby, if her family had willingly abandoned her so, what would be the point of trying to find them? She could survive on her own, she had to, and she would not seek out those who never wanted her in the first place, as painful as that was to think.

He just nodded and looked at her compassionately. "What about your friend, Zi Wei?" he asked finally.

Xiao Yan hesitated. Here, she wanted to tell him everything - the truth about Zi Wei. But it was definitely too early. There was no way that he would really take her seriously if she blurted out that truth now, and when Zi Wei wasn't even here. So she only said, "Zi Wei grew up in Shandong with her mother, who passed away a couple of years ago. She is in Beijing to find her father who was separated from her mother before she was born. I'm not sure he even knows about her existence."

"Does she know his name?" Yong Qi asked her.

Oh yes, she knew his name and far more information than it would be necessary to find him. It was not the issue of _finding _him that was hindering her. She found him all right. But Xiao Yan could not tell him any of this, of course.

"Yes," she said slowly. "But still..."

She trailed off and hoped that he would get the hint that she didn't want to talk about it in too much details. It was not that she did not want to or that she minded his questions. It was more that she was in danger of saying too much.

"I'm being too nosy, am I not?" he smiled apologetically.

"No, it's not that, it's just that it's not really my story to tell," she smiled back, trying to assure him. "So what are your guards doing while you're up here, other than just hanging around waiting?"

"They're not here, I snuck out without them this morning," he said with a twinkle in his eyes.

"That's possible?" she said, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, they won't be happy with me later but it's not the first time I'd done this. I did call my personal secretary to tell him I'm heading out. They'll always know where I am, and it's not as if I'm flying off half way across the world."

"I thought you would have to go everywhere with them," she mused.

"They turn an eye away every now and then, thank goodness or I'd go mad. They are supposed to have me in sight at all times when I'm at uni because I'm so exposed there, but otherwise we've reached an agreement that I get a breather here and there. Besides one of the officers in charge of my division is one of my best friends' brother, so he knows me pretty well so as long as he knows where to contact me, he lets me go off a bit."

"Doesn't it get annoying?" she asked.

"Yes, but it's something that I have to accept and it's only going to increase as I get older and later as I take on more duties. They're not like the US Secret Services, hounding your every step. They do know that I'm not going to get married with them following me on dates," he grinned cheekily.

Xiao Yan chuckled. "I think some girls would be thrilled with the pretentious image of it," she said.

"They're also the types of girl that I would not dream of going near, so it doesn't matter. Though sometimes I wonder whether I would get much of a choice in this aspect, or as free of a choice."

"Would you really not?" she asked, frowning.

"You would think that in this day and age, I would, but the truth is my grandmother does want to push for a Manchurian match. I don't know how she would react if my choice was not."

"But surely she would not stop you if you found someone who would make you happy. Isn't the time for arranged marriage and for people to accept arranged marriages quite over?"

"The traditional idea of arranged marriages where you don't meet your bride until the wedding is certainly not feasible anymore," he agreed. "But in the end, when my older sister and brothers married and when the rest of us eventually do, it would have to be with approval of our family _and_ parliament. Actually parliament's approval is probably even more important to consider than our family's, and that comes with a lot of restrictions, which then restricts our choices. To be honest there are a lot of things in my life I don't have choices about. Even what I study at university wasn't a complete choice either."

"No, but I reckon it is useful, for you," she said.

"Yes, and it's a good thing I enjoy them," he said. "And you? Why History and English?"

"Well I can't really do English on its own, it's useful but not by itself. As for History, I think it was more an unconscious response to my childhood. Maybe it's just something about not know about _my own_ past that makes me want to look into the past? But then I've always loved the subject at school and certainly it would not lack things to go to study later on. I'm not really a natural science person, in any case."

"Do you want to do further study after you finish this degree?"

"It's not a matter of whether I want to but whether I have the money to," she smiled wryly.

"And I wish I would have the freedom to pursue another degree. But I don't think it will happen," Yong Qi replied.

"Would you not be allowed to?" she asked.

"Not exactly," he said slowly. "It's a matter of there are other duties waiting for me that won't give me the time to do anymore."

"I suppose everyone just have their own restrictions," she sighed.

"Not many would see it as a restriction. They would see it as there are other things that are more important for me to do. In a way, yes, they are right, but sometimes it's very tempting to just do what I want instead of what is expected of me."

They talked for a while longer until his mobile phone rang, reminding them that it was late into the afternoon.

"I have to go," he told her reluctantly. "I'm having dinner with my grandmother later and my father would kill me if I'm late."

"Thanks so much for the help," she smiled as she saw him to the door. "I really appreciate it."

"Any time," he smiled back. "I'll see you on Monday."

It was only until he had drove away that she realised two things. One, she still hadn't given him back his jacket. Two, they had talked about a lot of intimate things for only a second meeting, and yet she had felt it was completely natural to share those things with him. And in return, she had an interesting look into his character. It was obvious that he didn't like the way his life was so laid out before him, yet he had made peace with it and was making the best of it, drawing from it all the good he could. That he didn't openly resent it showed his sense. He was determined to be dedicated to what he was destined for in the future, though it was not his choice. There was no doubt that he was smart and he was not afraid to give his opinions, even if they seemed to go against his position. He was genuinely interested in her and her thoughts, when he didn't really have any reason to be. He was far from condescending with her, but full of sympathy and friendliness. It was certainly a different picture from what she imagined him to be, if she ever thought about how he_ should _be at all.

Having taken a break to talk to him, she started the rice cooker before going back to her essay. As she rifled through the papers that he brought, a smaller piece of notebook paper floated to the floor. She sat down on a chair to bend down to pick it up. His name was on it, along with a phone number. _Call me if you need anything_, he had written. She smiled, wondering why he didn't just give her the number earlier. She was glad to have the number, however, because with all that she'd found out that day, it suddenly hit her that she would not be sorry to know him better either. She was certainly looking forward to seeing him on Monday. At least, his jacket that was still in her possession would be an excuse to see him again.


	3. To Tell or Not to Tell

**To Tell or Not to Tell **

**_That is the question..._**

* * *

_About two weeks later_

Xiao Yan said to Zi Wei as they were having dinner one night, "Do you think you should try to figure out how to tell Yong Qi about - you know - "

"No," was her friend's flat answer.

"Why not?" Xiao Yan asked. "Isn't that the whole point of your being in Beijing in the first place, why you went all this way in the first place?"

"Well, yes," Zi Wei admitted, placing her bowl and chopsticks down, sighing. "but after all this time, I wonder if it's even a good idea in the first place. Actually, now I know it's a very bad idea."

"What on earth do you mean?" Xiao Yan held out her hand for Zi Wei's bowl to fill it with rice again but her friend shook her head.

"When my mother died, the only thing I knew to do was to go to Beijing and find my father but then now that I'm finally here, I suddenly realise...it's not that simple. I mean, even if I manage to meet the Emperor, by some insane chance - "

"Actually," Xiao Yan interrupted, "chances are not so insane now that you know Yong Qi."

"Still, what are the chances that he'd believe me?" Zi Wei asked, standing up, putting her bowl in the sink.

"Zi Wei, this isn't the 17th century. There's such thing as paternity tests," Xiao Yan pointed out, standing up with her and started clearing the table.

"I think you're kind of missing the most vital point," Zi Wei said sadly, as she started on the dishes. "My father was _married_ to another person when he met my mother. My mother was, plainly said, the other woman. This _isn't_ the 17th century where you can have dozens of wives, Xiao Yan. My parents were basically having an affair. I think if anyone ever knew, then, the whole thing would have caused a huge scandal in the press. As it didn't cause a scandal, apparently no one knows. So how can I dig up the past, when likely the Emperor had forgotten all about it? Even now, to reveal this skeleton in his closet would give the media a thousand different things to write about. I think that's why my mother never went looking for my father after he left Jinan. She could have, she could have followed him, let him know of my existence. But she didn't because she knew the scandal and chaos it would cause."

As she was saying this, Zi Wei looked both exasperated and frustrated, so that Xiao Yan was amazed she didn't smash a bowl or something already.

"But then she told you to go and find him before she died." Then, seeing that Zi Wei was holding a large knife in her hand and turning it around idly, she said sharply, "Careful!"

Zi Wei looked down and finished washing the knife without chopping her own hand off. Then she finally looked up again and said, "I think - I think part of that was her not thinking clearly and her thinking that I would have no one to depend on if I was all alone. And back then, I was scared too, and looking for my father gave me something to do...But getting here to Beijing and being here now...I realise that I can survive on my own - _you_ showed me that, Xiao Yan. So do I really need to let the Emperor know of my existence when it really wouldn't help anything but just create a lot of chaos?"

"But you are still his _daughter_, Zi Wei," Xiao Yan pressed as she put away the leftover in the fridge. "And I think he needs to know. I mean, whatever mistake that your parents made, you can't be the blame. Biologically you are his daughter, so I'm sure legally you are entitled to...well, _something_. I know you didn't set out to find a claim to the throne or anything, but still, you can't deny that you _want_ to meet your father, you want to know him, you want him to know about you and acknowledge you!"

"I do," Zi Wei admitted sadly, "but that comes with so much more consequences that I don't think it would be a very good idea. The only way I can get to the Emperor now would be to tell Yong Qi about it all. But how can I _possibly_ tell him, Xiao Yan? I can't exactly go up to him and tell him his father cheated on his mother twenty years ago and I am the result of that affair! By some odd chance that _he _would believe me, I think he would hate me."

"I think he would be shocked but I don't think he would _hate_ you. It's hardly _your_ fault - "

"My birth, maybe not, but to bring this to light would totally ruin everything in his family, do you really think he'd appreciate that? Frankly, it's a miracle enough I have manage to meet someone from the imperial family and he actually likes me enough. I know I've only known him for two weeks, but knowing the real relationship between us, don't think I can bear to lose his friendship, Xiao Yan. I think I will just have to accept that it is the only real connection I will have with the Emperor and maybe I should just count my blessing for that, at least."

Zi Wei dried her hands on a towel before turning around and facing Xiao Yan with a resigned look.

"Zi Wei, whatever you say about it being a bad idea, you want to tell, you know you do," Xiao Yan pointed out.

"I do," Zi Wei said softly, "but I'll just have to accept that I can't. Look, let's not talk about this. I really don't want to feel like the only reason we're getting to know Yong Qi is because of this - and really, I know it's not like that. I know _you_ like him on your own and if I tell him, well it's going to just make everything so complicated...It's not a road I can go down, Xiao Yan."


	4. The Paparazzi

_This takes place two weeks after the last chapter, and Xiao Yan's ankle has basically healed. _

**The Paparazzi**

Xiao Yan fiddled with the telephone cord as she waited for Yong Qi to pick up the phone. She didn't really know herself how she managed it, but she somehow convinced Zi Wei to agree to telling Yong Qi her secret, and judging on his reaction, to decide what to do next. Zi Wei still had not ruled out the idea of never telling the _Emperor_ at all, mostly for fear of the scandal it would cause, but Xiao Yan managed to get her feeling guilty about lying to Yong Qi, and thus agreeing to confessing the truth to the Prince.

And now, Xiao Yan was trying to set up a time for them to meet Yong Qi to tell him the truth, and the suspense was killing her already; it wasn't even _her _secret. She was beginning to see why Zi Wei was so paranoid about all this. More than once, Xiao Yan began second guessing herself, wondering if Zi Wei was right after all, that they shouldn't even try to tell this secret. Maybe some things are better left unknown.

It suddenly occured to Xiao Yan that this could make or break _her_ friendship with Yong Qi, as well. If he believed Zi Wei, and and somehow get Zi Wei to meet the Emperor, and the Emperor believed Zi Wei...whatever happened after that would bring them in closer contact. On the other hand, if he didn't believe her, it was not likely that he would ever want to speak to either of them again. And despite knowing him this past month, she could not be sure which reaction it would be. It did seem like too much to ask that he would just accept such a scandalous story without question.

She would be very sorry to lose his friendship but if he could dismiss Zi Wei so easily, then perhaps she was better off not knowing him better, after all. The past month had seemed like such a long time, and she had come to know him more than she had ever imagined possible so she should be able to guess what he would make of the situation. But still, she didn't dare to.

"Xiao Yan," he said, picking up the phone. "How are you?"

It was still weird that he would just know it was her calling from the caller ID on his phone. "Hi," she replied and for a while, just let the conversation drift to random, inconsequential things. Eventually, when she could not stall any longer, she took a deep breath and asked, "Are you free tomorrow afternoon?"

"From about 11 onwards, yes," he said. "What's up?"

That could work, Zi Wei finished work at 12. "Do you mind meeting me tomorrow then?" she asked, then added, "And Zi Wei."

"Oh. Sure," he said, though she thought he sounded slightly disappointed, though she could not figure out why. "What's going on?"

"Do you mind if I not say till tomorrow? It's kind of a long story. And I'm not sure I'm the person to tell this," she said nervously.

"Ok now that sounds serious," he said, and she could practically see his frown. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, yes," she assured him. "It's nothing bad...well, not really. I mean, it's not, but it's just not something I can go over the phone. We just need your help with something. Would that be ok?"

"Yes, but are you _sure_ you're ok?" he asked.

"Yes," she said sheepishly. "I just ramble when I'm...nervous, don't worry about it."

"Yeah, well it's the fact you're nervous that worries me," he said.

"I'll explain tomorrow. It'll be easier then."

"All right then," he sighed. "Do you want me to pick you up? Or where are we meeting?"

"Can you pick me up? Zi Wei will be at work till 12. Then we can go somewhere and talk."

He picked her up the next day promptly at eleven thirty. She had been waiting around for at least half an hour. Zi Wei's mother's painting and fan were safely tucked up in her bag.

"So what's the plan?" Yong Qi asked, glancing at her and keeping an eye on the road.

"I was thinking we could pick up Zi Wei and we could tell you this over lunch. Have you eaten?"

"No, are you kidding? I've been too curious about what you want to tell me. So you're not going to tell me now are you?"

"I can't," she said apologetically. "And really you wouldn't want to hear this on the road, we might end up crashing the car."

"That bad?" he raised an eyebrow. "You're freaking me out a bit, you know."

"It's just a bit of a ...long story." That was all she was prevailed to say. He, at least, recognised her determination and so just sighed and changed the subject to something else.

They have been driving for a few more minutes when a black security car that had been following them caught up level with them on Yong Qi's side. They had never done that before and even Yong Qi recognised it as unusual as he frowned in confusion. But still, he rolled down his window to talk to the man in the next car.

"What's happening?" Yong Qi asked seriously.

"Officer Fu Er Kang, in the next car, just wanted me to tell you, sir, that we are being followed by a paparazzi car," the officer said.

Both Yong Qi and Xiao Yan glanced at the rearview mirror and saw that another security car was right behind them, though another blue car was trying to get in between the security car and them.

"It's the blue BMW?" Yong Qi asked, not taking his eyes off the road.

"Yes, sir," the officer confirmed. Yong Qi just nodded and rolled up his window.

A wave of uneasiness and nervousness washed over Xiao Yan as she looked at Yong Qi questioningly. He was still driving at the same speed and with the same control of the car as before. The only change in him was a stiffness in his posture. She wasn't sure whether she should speak to him and so didn't dare ask him what was going on.

But he sighed and answered her silent question anyway. "If they've been following us, it means they've probably been there since I arrived at your place to pick you up. I don't know how we didn't notice them but it's probable that they got a few shots already. They probably won't get any now, these windows are tinted. As long as we get into a busier road it'll be easier to lose them. But it means that the pictures they already have with be in the papers tomorrow with some rubbish story that is 99% made up."

"So what are you going to do?" she asked nervously.

"It would just make them wilder to try to look like we're trying to escape them. Legally, my security officers can't stop them and ask them to hand over the film unless there's a crisis of some sort. I'm sorry, but we will have to deal with that article when it comes out. Depending on what insane story they come up with, I'll get a statement issued when it does come out. I'm kind of surprised that it took them this long to find their way to your house."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I can't so much as look at girl without the reporters getting a hold of it and twisting it into some scandal, Xiao Yan," he sighed. "And I've been around at your place for a month. But I can't go out of my way to avoid having friends who are female to just avoid..._Damn_!"

Xiao Yan clutched at her seat and was grateful for the seatbelt holding her in place as Yong Qi veered sharply to the side to avoid colliding with the security car that was still running by his side but was suddenly forced by the blue BMW to move dangerously close to them. He barely avoided going off into the curb as the blue BMW managed to get a burst of speed and caught up with them, pressing the security car in on them. By now, the paparazzi car was level with them, so that they were three cars running side by side on a three lane road with the security car in the middle, Yong Qi's car and the paparazzi car on each side. The paparazzi car was trying to speed up even more to get ahead of them, presumably so they could snap photos through their rear window but the security car between them managed to sneak up ahead of them so that the only way the paparazzi could get directly in front of them would be to make a wide curve.

Xiao Yan looked at the rearview mirror and saw that the other three security cars were following them closely but even she could see that they could not do anything.

"They're trying to get ahead of us so that they can flank us on all four sides, but there's no way they would be able to get ahead. The only car that could get ahead now is the one next to me, there's no room on your side. But if that one goes up, the paparazzi would just close in. They won't be able to get any photos through my window but I don't want to be that close to them," Yong Qi explained.

They were reaching an intersection, and it was not peak hour, so the streets were not as busy as it could be. Yet still, it was busy enough that it looked like it was doubtful that they could lose the paparazzi car soon.

"Right, hang on, I'll turn right here, they won't be able to turn with us, they're on the straight lane," he told her before speeding up to catch the green light. The security car next to them sped up as well. But it seemed that even the paparazzi had caught up with what Yong Qi was going to do as well because they tried to turn with them, crowding into the middle lane, so that the security car scraped against them.

Yong Qi swore at the contact. "Idiots! Are they bloody suicidal?" he hissed. At the same time, the paparazzi car turned in the opposite direction, before doubling back. This time, the impact of the security car in between them was so strong, that the whole car slammed against Yong Qi's side of the car, making them flying off a tangent into the curb. Xiao Yan could only see that Yong Qi was trying desperately to regain control of the vehicle, before she felt a violent crash and was knocked out cold.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Fu Er Kang felt his heart leap into his mouth and swore heatedly as he watched the paparazzi trying to curve around the security car, but ended up hitting it instead, with enough force so that it forced Yong Qi's car off course. He could see it happening, as in slow motion, but was totally powerless to stop it. He watched with a sickening feeling as Yong Qi's car crashed head-on with a tree on the side of the road. He could only pray to Heaven that the airbags had activated and this would not turn into a Diana-like accident.

He rapidly pulled over at the side of the road and jumped out of his own car, climbing over the crowded mass of the three cars, trying to get to where Yong Qi was. The paparazzi, the heartless dogs, were completely unharmed and were busy snapping up photos of the situation, not caring that they caused the accident in the first place. Er Kang could feel the rest of the security officers trying to keep some sort of control behind him, but he was only focused on getting to his Prince.

He could tell the at least one of the officers in the security car next to Yong Qi was injured, while the other, a man named Wang, was already out of the car and had his handset out, calling for an ambulance.

"Your Highness!" Er Kang called urgently as he got to the side of the Prince's car. He flung the door open to inspect the situation.

"The airbags activated, but both His Highness and the lady are unconscious," Wang told him, but Er Kang could already work that out for himself.

The next fifteen minutes for Er Kang was a flurry of getting both Yong Qi and the girl out of the car for medical attention. At the same time, they had to try to keep both the paparazzi and the reporters who have arrived at the speed of lightning at bay. Then there was also keeping the people gathered around the accident, who by now have realised that it involved the Fifth Prince, from panicking or making the situation worst.

Yong Qi had a gash on his forehead, probably from hitting his head against the broken window, but the wound didn't look deep. Er Kang could only hope the impact was not violent to cause more serious head injuries. But other than that, he could not find any sign of more injuries, other than the fact that Yong Qi was unconscious. It could have been worst, but Er Kang could not let himself breath just yet until he got an official diagnosis from a paramedic.

Er Kang didn't know the girl who was with Yong Qi personally but as the head of the division in charge of Yong Qi's protection, he knew of her. He was not on duty when apparently Yong Qi had nearly ran her over with his car but had been around when Yong Qi had spent the last month seeing her almost every day. The girl was hardly of the aristocracy; indeed she was quite the opposite, the neighbourhood she lived in was not exactly glamourous. But she must have something that was interesting to the Prince, because he knew Yong Qi didn't pay so much attention to a girl unless she seriously attracted him. He had not thought to ask his brother about her before, though it was probable that Yong Qi would have talked about her to Er Tai. If anything, Er Tai probably had met the girl. But before, there was no reason for him to talk to his brother about the girl, since his job as the Prince's security officer demanded confidentiality. He could not go around gossiping with his brother about her, nor would his brother break a confidence, in any case.

As he watched the officers ease the girl out of the car, he saw that she was clutching at backpack. It took a while for them to tease the backpack out of her grip; she had an exceptionally strong grip for being unconscious. Er Kang wondered why she held on to the bag like it was her lifeline, but didn't get to think on it. There was the more serious matter of a cut on her neck, which was making her lose a lot of blood, though his officers, trained for the very situation, was able to stem the flow of the blood in time as the ambulance arrived.

Being a close friend of the Prince, Er Kang was elected to accompany him and the girl in the ambulance. In fact, this duty also involved informing the Prince's household of the situation and getting the news to the Emperor before he saw it on the live breaking news telecast that must be on TV right now. While he raced through phone calls to the appropriate departments in the palace residences, the paramedics were also equally busy at work with the two patients. It was not until they had nearly reached the Imperial Hospital that the paramedics were able to inform Er Kang that neither the Prince nor his friend was in any danger from serious trauma. They were unconscious from the impact of the crash but would likely recover fully with time.

After he had saw both Yong Qi and the girl settled in their separate rooms at the hospital, Er Kang felt he must go through her bag to see if there was any way of identifying her for the hospital records, as well as to inform her friends or family of her condition. All he found in the bag was her wallet, which contained her student ID, showing her name - Xia Xiao Yan - and a carefully wrapped scroll and a fan.

Normally Er Kang would not have opened the scroll or the fan, seeing as it was not useful in helping him in this situation at all, but somehow, he felt compelled to. Perhaps it was the fact that it was unusual for Xiao Yan to carry such objects around, and it was the fact that she had clutched at the bag so tightly before; but it all made Er Kang curious. He opened the fan first, and whatever he expected to see, this was the more shocking. The Emperor's calligraphy appeared as graceful as dragons in the form of a poem on the fan, complete with the Emperor's personal seal in the corner.

What on earth was Xia Xiao Yan doing with a fan that contained the Emperor's handwriting?

The question overwhelmed Er Kang so that for a moment, he forgot about contacting Xiao Yan's friends, but opened the scroll as well. On the scroll was a painting of a lotus blossom. The inscribing text, also in the Emperor's handwriting, showed that it was painted twenty years ago, in Jinan. Who was the Yu He mentioned in the inscription? And why did Xiao Yan have these things in her possession?

It all so baffled Er Kang so that he was uncharacteristically startled as one of his officers approached him to tell him the Emperor and the Empress was on their way up to see the Fifth Prince. Er Kang hastily closed the fan and the scroll and put it back in the backpack. He would have to show it to the Emperor later, but for now, alleviating his worries about Yong Qi was more important.

"Your Majesties," he greeted the Emperor and the Empress as they walked rapidly towards him, followed by guards.

"How is he?" was the Emperor's short reply, his voice dark with worry, and his face grave.

"The doctors say he'll be fine, there's no major trauma and he will recover in good time," Er Kang assured them, leading them into Yong Qi's room.

The Emperor approached his son's bed and brushed his hair away from his forehead. There was a white bandage across his forehead, stained with blood, for the deep cut there but other than that, he was not required to be supported in anyway by medical machinery.

"Well, it could have been a lot worst," he said shakily, "from the look of the crash on TV." The faintness of his voice betrayed just how very worried and how scared the older man was that the accident could have killed his son.

Er Kang agreed but he didn't voice it out loud. There was a moment of silence when both the Emperor and the Empress fussed over the Prince and saw to his comfort.

"What happened, exactly?" the Emperor finally asked Er Kang sharply. "You didn't go into it on the phone."

Er Kang described the accident in as much detail as he could, all the while feeling the enormity of his failure ever more. "I should have been able to stop it," he said guiltily. "There shouldn't have been an accident at all."

"None sense, Er Kang," the Emperor sighed. "If you took rash actions to chase the paparazzi away, you might just end up causing an even worst crash and Yong Qi would know that too! At least you were there to stop everything becoming chaotic and get him out in time."

"I don't understand," the Empress frowned, her face white with worry. "The paparazzi have always been on his heels but they pretty much know when to back off, what's different this time?"

If it was anyone else but Er Kang standing here, he was sure they would be astonished at the amount of distress she was showing for a Prince who was not even her own son. Of course, the current Empress Yi Chun had known the late Empress Xiao Xian, the Emperor's first wife, but Er Kang knew the concern she was showing was more than mere duty. His aunt truly loved each of her husband's children as her own, despite the fact that she was merely four years older than the eldest child of the Emperor.

"I think the fact that he was with a girl this time may have convinced them to pursue him more closely," Er Kang sighed.

"A girl?" both the Emperor and the Empress exclaimed. In another situation, Er Kang would have laughed. Then again, the Fifth Prince had only once showed serious interest in a girl, and after that was over, he had been wary of girls seeking more than he was willing to give. So perhaps this sudden appearance of a girl was enough to shock the Emperor, the Empress _and_ the paparazzi.

"She was in the car with him and I think they were going to go to lunch. She's in the room next door. According to the doctor, she'll be fine as well, though she dislocated her shoulder."

There was a long silence where Er Kang was sure both the Emperor and the Empress were trying their best to not interrogate him about the identity of this girl. He could not break his confidentiality oath, even to them, not when Yong Qi could answer their questions later when he awoke.

"Have you tried to find a way to contact her family?" the Empress asked finally.

"I did. Her student ID showed her name to be Xia Xiao Yan. Though I also found some rather intriguing objects in her possession, Your Majesty."

He extracted the fan and the painting scroll from Xiao Yan's backpack and gave it to the Emperor. The older man frowned and opened the fan. Er Kang had never seen him whiten so fast. The Emperor had never allowed himself to show such shock before his subject before, but it appeared that whatever the significance of the fan was, it was enough to break away all of the man's guards.

"Your Majesty?" the Empress asked, her voice filled with worry at his sudden ashen mien. The Emperor waved his hand vaguely in her direction before unrolling the scroll. At the sight of it, he wavered on his feet and Er Kang quickly pulled a chair and together with the Empress, they guided him to sit down.

"Sire?" Er Kang asked, his body almost shaking with worry himself. He knew those artifacts were intriguing, especially in Xiao Yan's possession, but he never imagined that they would draw such violent reactions from the Emperor.

"What - what did you say her name was?" the Emperor asked finally, staring at Er Kang. "The girl."

"Xia Xiao Yan, sire," he said, handing the Emperor Xiao Yan's ID card.

"Xia Xiao Yan..." the Emperor whispered in wonder, staring at the card in his hand. "August 1985..."

His face was filled with a far away expression, that for a moment, Er Kang exchanged confused looks with his aunt. She was no more enlightened than him on this matter. Then, suddenly, before either of them could ponder more on the matter, the Emperor stood abruptly up.

"I must see her!" he said firmly, striding out of the room.

The Empress gave Er Kang a bewildered look but followed her husband into the next room, beckoning him to come as well. Reluctant as he was to leave Yong Qi alone, he followed, nonetheless, thinking it was only to the room next door. As he exited the room, he caught his brother walking frantically down the corridoor and gestured him into Yong Qi's room. When he entered Xiao Yan's room, he found the Emperor had put down the fan, the painting and the ID card that he held earlier down on the bedside table and was now staring hard at her. In fact, he was gripping the bed railing so hard that Er Kang could see blood rush from his knuckles, leaving them whitened.

Er Kang looked at his aunt quizzically but she just shook her head, indicating that she had no more idea than he what was going on either. Then, suddenly, the Emperor whirled around to face Er Kang, his face white and he looked breathless.

"What else do you know about her?" he fairly demanded.

"Not much, sir. I haven't been formally introduced to her before," Er Kang frowned. "I know that His Higness met her about a month ago and he's been spending a lot of time with her. My brother might know more, I'm not sure."

The Emperor turned back to Xiao Yan and reached out, brushing a hand against the side of her cheek. "Is it possible?" he was saying to himself. The scene was rather intimate and Er Kang wondered whether the Emperor still realised that he and the Empress were in the room.

That the Emperor was more occupied Xiao Yan now more than with Yong Qi was significant indeed, though Er Kang had no idea why. Who was Xiao Yan to draw such reaction in the Emperor?

"Sir?" the Empress called finally, tentatively. "If I may ask, what is the significance of that fan and painting?"

The Emperor finally turned around and, instead of answering the question, turned to Er Kang and asked, "Where's your brother?"

"He just arrived a moment ago, sir," Er Kang said. "He's in the next room with the Fifth Prince."

The Emperor just nodded and said, "I will explain, once I talk to Er Tai to see what he knows about Xia Xiao Yan."

Re-entering Yong Qi's room, they found Er Tai sitting by a chair at his friend's bedside. He stood up to greet the Emperor and the Empress as they entered. The Emperor immediately started a flurry of questions about all that Er Tai knew about Xia Xiao Yan.

"Well, I know that she grew up in an orphanage and doesn't know much, herself, about her family origins. She won one of the full scholarships to Yong Le and reads History and English. She and His Higness met quite accidentally, in fact, he nearly ran over her with his car, spraining her ankle. So he's been driving her to uni and home as her ankle heals. I've only met her a few times. She seems nice enough."

It was obvious to Er Kang that while Er Tai said all this, he was also very confused about the Emperor's sudden interest in Xia Xiao Yan.

"Are you sure she doesn't know who her family are?" the Emperor pressed again. "And she'd always lived in Beijing?"

"Yes," Er Tai nodded.

"Your Majesty?" the Empress asked tentatively, after the Emperor fell silent again, that faraway look on his face again. "What is it about her that fascinate you so?"

"I think," the Emperor said slowly, "she might be my daughter."

Of all the things he could have said, nothing could have prepared Er Kang to hear this. He exchanged astonished looks with his brother while the Empress stared at her husband in disbelief.

As he listened to the Emperor reluctantly tell of his affair in Jinan, Er Kang could not help but feel the pain his aunt was obviously going through but trying valiantly to hide. Er Kang could not be sure whether this was the only affair the Emperor had ever indulged in, and in any case, it was not his place to speculate. But he knew that if the Emperor had lived a couple of centuries earlier, he would be one of those emperors who had dozens of concubines.

Could Xia Xiao Yan really be an illegitimate princess? Well, it was pretty easy to find out. Just a DNA sample would tell all, but the more worrying question was, what if she was? The Emperor admited not keeping in touch with Xia Yu He and having no idea of what became of her now, so if Xiao Yan was of imperial blood, what was she doing in Beijing? And what of her mother? What was to be done?

A million questions filled Er Kang's head, even though he knew it was not his duty to worry about that. Eventually, he and his brother left the Emperor and the Empress alone in the hospital room, after promising to keep everything they knew about Xiao Yan quiet for now.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

Zi Wei was standing outside of Hui Bin Lou, the restaurant where she worked, tapping her foot impatiently and glancing at her watch again. It was 12:30. Xiao Yan had told her and she and Yong Qi would meet her at 12. The road can't be that busy at this time and even if it was, it wasn't like Xiao Yan to be late to anything.

She waited for another fifteen minutes before sighing and returning to the kitchen.

"I thought you'd left," Liu Hong, the female chef and one of the owners of the small restaurant, exclaimed upon seeing her again. "Your shift ended an hour ago."

"Xiao Yan and a friend was supposed to pick me up but they aren't here yet. Can I use the phone?"

"Go ahead," Liu Hong waved her to the phone on the wall.

Zi Wei tried calling home first, but it was obvious after twenty odd rings that no one was home. Then Xiao Yan must be with Yong Qi and on the way. But Yong Qi was supposed to pick Xiao Yan up at 11:30. It couldn't have taken them that long to get here. Zi Wei dug Yong Qi's phone number out of her bag and tried calling his mobile phone. Oddly enough, that phone rang for ages, too, and he didn't pick up. What on earth was going on? She knew that Yong Qi couldn't possibly go out without his mobile phone. A strange sense of dread swept over Zi Wei. What could have happened?

"Everything all right?" Liu Hong asked, and Zi Wei whirled around. She realised she must look rather odd, standing there staring at the phone.

"Oh, yeah, it's nothing," she tried to smile, not wanting to worry Liu Hong. Then, saying goodbye to her, Zi Wei went outside and waited for another fifteen minutes, but still neither Yong Qi or Xiao Yan showed up. By then it was seriously worrying her and she reluctantly got onto a bus to head home.

She was so distracted on the bus that she didn't even notice that it didn't go the usual direct way, but went an unusually long way, that made the trip take fifteen minutes longer than usual. It was almost 2:30 by the time she got to the empty flat. She tried calling Yong Qi again, and kept the phone ringing as long as it would, before it cut itself off.

Something was definitely not right. Zi Wei checked her room and found that Xiao Yan had already taken her mother's painting and fan, which meant that she must had met Yong Qi already. But then why didn't they arrive to pick her up and why didn't Yong Qi pick up his phone?

For the rest of the afternoon, she tried calling Yong Qi again and again a dozen times over. She skipped dinner, by which time she was sure something was wrong because Xiao Yan was not back. She turned on the TV and waited impatiently for the news. If something had happened - if something had happened to Yong Qi - that must be it if he didn't answer his phone - it would certainly make the evening news.

Sure enough, one of the first headlines that came up on the news was about the car accident that involved the Fifth Prince's car and a paparazzi car. Zi Wei gasped as she realised that was why the bus had taken another route; the usual route was blocked off because of the accident. The news report confirmed that Xiao Yan was with Yong Qi at the time.

Zi Wei dashed out of the house, knowing there was probably only one place that they could be - the Imperial Hospital. Unfortunately, it was a weekend evening, which meant that buses ran rather sparsely, so Zi Wei was almost out of her mind with impatience by the time the bus arrived.

It was past eight in the evening by the time she arrived at the hospital, and Zi Wei knew visiting hours was over. But she approached the reception anyway.

"I'm here to see a patient," she said a little breathlessly.

"I'm sorry, miss," the nurse at the reception told her, "but visiting hours are over. Please come back tomorrow morning."

"But my friend was brought in this afternoon and I only knew just now. I live with her and she has no relative, so - "

"Miss, I'm sorry but I can't let you see her," the nurse repeated patiently.

Zi Wei let out an exasperated breath and hated the fact that she was playing this card, but she had to. "She was brought in with the Fifth Prince this afternoon, her name is Xia Xiao Yan," she said blandly.

The nurse looked closer at Zi Wei now, for a long moment, before checking something on the computer in front of her. Then she repeated slowly, "Your friend is Miss Xia Xiao Yan?"

"Yes," Zi Wei said firmly.

The nurse sighed and said, "In that case, I definitely can't let you see her tonight, miss."

"What?" Zi Wei exclaimed.

"Miss, this is a matter of security. Miss Xia is placed in the room next door to His Highness the Fifth Prince in the Imperial Wing, as such his visitors _as well as _hers have to cleared by the imperial security officers. You realise we can't just let everyone who claimed to be a friend into the Imperial Wing, which is in fact, a private wing. Please come back tomorrow, you will need identifications to be cleared by security. Meanwhile I assure you Miss Xia will be in good care."

"But - Zi Wei protested.

"Please, Miss," the nurse repeated, with such patience that marveled even Zi Wei, "regardless of who you want to see, I cannot let you in past visiting hours. Considering who you _do_ want to see, even I do not have the authority to grant you entry, even if it was visiting hour."

Zi Wei swallowed a frustrated groan but knew that she would not win this argument, and very reluctantly turned away. She wondered whether it was worth it to just spend the night in the hospital lobby, but realised that she probably wouldn't be allowed to. Sighing, she slowly made her way back home, to a very disturbed sleep.


	5. The Prince and His Princesses

**The Prince and His Princesses**

The first thing Yong Qi saw when he opened his eyes was a blinding whiteness. He blinked several times before realising he was in a hospital room. His head felt like it had just been hit by a brick. He tried to get up but was pushed down gently, and his older sister's face swam before his vision, before he finally managed to focus his eyes.

"Don't try to get up," He Jing told him. "The Empress would have my head if she knew I let you move too much."

Yong Qi didn't even try to protest, knowing that it was impossible when it came to He Jing. With He Jing being the eldest of his siblings, and for a long time, he was one of the youngest, it meant that Yong Qi had long learnt to suffer through her mothering.

"What happened?" he asked, still feeling very unaware of where he was and what was going on.

"You got into an accident, it's a miracle that you got off with so little injury," He Jing said. "If I didn't know it wasn't your fault, I would want to convince Huang Ah Ma to never let you near a car again. And even then..."

"Save the lecture, sis," Yong Qi groaned. Then he gasped and tried to sit up again, but didn't succeed because He Jing was pushing him down again, frowning disapprovingly. "Xiao Yan!" he cried.

"Your friend? She's fine too, but she's still unconscious. The doctors say it's more from the loss of blood than anything. She's next door. And _no_, you may not go and see her yet. The doctor's coming in to see you in a little while. You can ask him about her when he comes in."

"What time is it?" he asked.

"Nine in the evening."

"Why are you still here?" he frowned. "Besides, it's it way past visiting hours?"

"We have a private wing here for a reason, Yong Qi," his sister smiled. "Visiting hours don't really apply."

"But why are _you_ still here? Surely there are other people to baby-sit me if it was _that_ necessary. Wouldn't the kids want you at home?"

"Yes," his sister sighed. "But I wanted to be here with you. You don't know how scared I was when I heard, Yong Qi. I don't think I could bear it if I lost you too - "

She broke off suddenly, tears filling her eyes. Yong Qi felt a rush of guilt at the sight of her crying. He knew the loss of their mother had drawn him and his siblings closer, but he and He Jing most of all. He'd been so young when their mother died that sometimes it half seemed like his sister was his mother, even if she was only ten years older than him. Then again, the current Empress was only a few years older than He Jing herself. But the 'too' in her fear didn't refer to just their mother. It referred to their younger sister, He Xin as well. He Xin was the youngest child of the Emperor and his first Empress, Yong Qi's mother. But three years ago, she had mysteriously disappeared and nothing could be found of her. It didn't seem like anyone kidnapped her, since no one ever demanded anything for her return. Somehow, a _princess_ had just disappeared and no one could find her. The sheer absurdity of it still mocked their family until now. They, who could not go out onto the street without drawing attention, suddenly just lost their baby sister and no one knew how or why.

And Yong Qi knew the loss weighed on He Jing more than anyone else, that He Jing took responsibility for He Xin's sudden and mysterious disappearance. He Jing had taken upon herself to take care of her younger brothers and sister since their mother died and the pain of losing He Xin was as acute as it would have been if He Xin had been one of her own children.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely, reaching over to touch her hand, though he was hardly aware of what he was sorry about. He could hardly even blame himself for getting hurt, though he did feel guilty for worry her.

"Shut up," she said, only half-joking, brushing away her tears. "Really, Yong Qi, you do get yourself into difficult situations rather often, but even this one time I can't say it's your fault."

"That will not stop you from lecturing me later about driving carefully, will it?" he tried to joke.

"No," she admitted, smiling wanly. "And you need the reminder especially when you're driving around a girl."

His sister let the unspoken question hang in the air until Yong Qi let out a rather exasperated breath. "Will you just ask it and get it over with already?"

He Jing just smiled. "Well, you did manage to shock the paparazzi into dogging you to the point of causing an accident. She must be pretty newsworthy."

"Every girl I look at is newsworthy to the paparazzi, sis," he sighed.

"Yeah but usually you don't display them in your car," He Jing continued to smile.

"Display them in my car, you make it sound like she's some sort of ornament," Yong Qi grumbled.

"Well, you're defending her," his sister pointed out, smirking. "Don't think I can't tell, little brother."

"Tell what?"

"When the girl is newsworthy to _you_," she smiled.

"Nothing's happened yet," he said honestly. "Really."

He Jing just smiled and didn't answer. Yong Qi tried hard to not roll his eyes. Why did his sister have to be so perceptive? She'd only ever seen Xiao Yan today, she hadn't even met her properly yet and she had already detected so much.

Before either He Jing or Yong Qi could say any more on the subject, however, the doctor walked in, and He Jing told her brother and she would leave him to the doctor's care, while she went to telephone their father to tell him that he was awake.

0o0o0o0o

Emperor Rong Jing arrived at the Hospital early the next day, the sun had just risen. He hadn't managed much sleep the night before. It took the efforts of both his wife and his eldest daughter to convince him to go home the night before. The Empress had not said a word about his confession regarding Xia Yu He, and he knew she would not bring up the subject unless he did. It was not _her_ who he cheated on, yes, but Rong Jing was not stupid enough to assume that she was not hurt by the information - whether because she feared other such affairs, or on behalf of the late Empress Xiao Xian. He was coherent enough yet about the situation to assure his wife that aside from Xia Yu He, there had been no other - not that it would change anything.

As for Xiao Yan, Rong Jing was not sure how he knew it, but he felt such a connection to her that surely must mean she was his daughter. Maybe Yu He moved to Beijing after that...and Er Tai must have been mistaken about Xiao Yan having grown up in an orphanage. He could not imagine that Yu He could have abandoned her own daughter in an orphanage. However briefly he knew Yu He, he knew that much. Besides, Xiao Yan had the painting and the fan...that proved something, that she did know her mother.

The fact that Yu He never tried to contact him was not surprising. If anyone was ever wrong in this entire situation, it had always been him. Yu He had no idea who he was or that he was married when they met. By the time she found out, it was she who ended it, though he knew she loved him as much as he loved her, and that it had hurt her beyond measure, and because of that, she would never have looked for him. Then that raised the question of what could have happened for Xiao Yan to end up with the fan and the painting. The fact that Yu He even kept them was amazing enough.

These musings in mind, he went to check first on Yong Qi and found him asleep. The hallways were filled guards and the nurse's station wasn't far away, so Rong Jing went instead, to Xiao Yan's room. He felt a twinge of guilt as he pushed the door open. He really should be with Yong Qi at that moment. He had already betrayed Xiao Xian, and now he was, in a way, putting Yu He's child above hers as well. But he had to see Xiao Yan again, to see if the little rest he had in the night would have made him see her differently.

He was surprised to see He Jing in the room when he entered.

"Huang Ah Ma," his daughter turned around when she heard the door open.

"Why are you here? I thought you would have went home last night?"

"I stayed with Yong Qi," she explained. "I thought I would check on his friend a bit."

"Has she awaken?"

"No, but she did talk in her sleep."

"What did she say?" the Emperor frowned.

"She kept mumbling about a fan and a painting, how she couldn't lose it. And she...she asked for you, asking whether you remembered Xia Yu He by Da Ming Lake."

Rong Jing felt blood rush from his face again. This has to be it, the confirmation he needed. She was definitely Yu He's child, she had to be, and if she was really born in August 1985, there was so much chance that she was his child as well. The only thing that was needed to confirm it would be a simple test - a so very simple test that if he had ordered it yesterday, the results probably would already be available now, and then he would _know_.

He was so overwhelmed by the information and possibility that he didn't realise that He Jing was speaking.

"What?"

"I just - I just said...Well, the Empress told me," He Jing said quietly. "Last night, she called me around ten to check whether I had left." Rong Jing turned to face his daughter and realised what it was that the Empress actually told her. He could not tell what He Jing felt about this, her expression was frustratingly and frighteningly guarded. When he didn't say anything, she went on, more defensively, "You shouldn't blame her, Huang Ah Ma, she needed to talk to someone and ..."

Rong Jing nodded quietly. Sometimes it was hard to determine what exactly the relationship between He Jing and the Empress was, considering He Jing was only four years younger.

"That is why you are here, isn't it?" he asked quietly.

"I wanted to see her, yes," He Jing said. "Did you love her?"

Rong Jing could tell there were two different 'her' in those sentences. The latter referred to Xia Yu He. "I loved her, yes, but it was so different from the way I loved your mother. And you must know that I loved your mother very much, He Jing."

He Jing turned away, her shoulder stiff, and Rong Jing dreaded what she would say, because he would rather she was angry at him. When He Jing turned back to him, her expression was pained, but she said softly, "Er Niang would have forgiven you. Eventually."

"That doesn't mean that you have to, as well," he said frankly.

"I haven't," Her Jing admitted. The two words hung still and heavy in the air. Then nodding towards Xiao Yan, she continued, "But she is not to blame."

"Thank you for that, at least," he told her, kissing the crown of her head lightly. He was half-surprised that she let him.

He knew facing the rest of his children would be so much harder. Though that brought up the question - did Yong Qi _know_, and if he did how did he react to it? Rong Jing had noticed nothing different about Yong Qi lately and it was impossible that Yong Qi could have hid it so well if he knew anything about Yu He. Why did Xiao Yan have the fan and painting that day when she was with Yong Qi? There were so many questions, still. And he knew he could not let this conversation with He Jing just stop here, so he opened his mouth to speak again. But then He Jing was looking at Xiao Yan, whispering, "She's waking up!"

Rong Jing whirled to face the young girl on the bed. Their conversation had apparently woken her and she was looking around in confusion. He rushed to her bedside and exclaiming in delight, "You are awake!"

"Who - who are you?" she asked.

"This is the Emperor, you must be more polite," He Jing said gently.

Rong Jing smiled and shook his head, "Let it go, He Jing." But Xiao Yan had already widened her eyes and tried to sit up, exclaiming, "Your Majesty!"

Both He Jing and Rong Jing pushed her back down on the bed, however, and Rong Jing said, "Don't get up, the doctors said you lost a lot of blood, you need your rest."

Meanwhile, He Jing hesitated a bit before saying, "I'll go check on my brother." He looked at her worriedly for a moment, but she gave him a small smile, and he squeezed her hand gratefully, before she walked out of the room. He turned back to find that Xiao Yan was still looking, wide-eyed at him. She did have the most extraordinarily large eyes, emphasised even more in shock. He saw little of Yu He in her face, but what did that signify?

Xiao Yan stammered, "You really are the Emperor?"

"Yes, yes I am."

"I have finally met the Emperor, I can't believe it, I have done it," she was whispering to herself with such wonder and happiness that it could have made Rong Jing's heart burst with emotions. Surely what ever happened in her life, she must had gone through a lot of hardship to try to meet him. Her student card showed that she went to the same university and was in the same faculty as Yong Qi. He would not be half-surprised if part of her reason for her choice was to get close to him. And he could not blame her. For she was his daughter - there could be no question about it now - why should she not want to?

He asked her gently, "How are you feeling? Are you hungry? Could I get you anything?"

Xiao Yan was now staring at him with the utmost amazement. She muttered, "You are the Emperor and yet you are so kind to me, I think I could die now and be happy."

Rong Jing could not help but chuckle, "You are here so that you won't die. You can't die. But now that you are awake, I have so much to ask you."

Xiao Yan apparently was still awed into silence, so she just looked at him.

"I know your name is Xia Xiao Yan and we found this fan and painting in your things and you were accompanying Yong Qi. Were you planning to show them to him and get his help to meet me?"

She only nodded.

Pieces were falling into place just as he had expected them to, but the confirmation only made the emotions rise even more swiftly. He took a deep breath before saying, "I know your mother is Xia Yu He. Did she give these to you? Is she well?"

Here, Xiao Yan's eyes widened again and she shook her head emphatically. Her hands were clenching the sheets tightly. The dread washed over Rong Jing. Something bad had happened. He could tell by her discomfort. What had happened to Yu He?

"No? What happened to her? Where is she now?"

"She - she died," Xiao Yan whispered. "Two years ago in Jinan, from cancer."

The kind of pain and loss he had not felt since losing Xiao Xian washed over Rong Jing so that for a moment he could not speak. He cleared his throat roughly for a few times before saying, "I should have guessed...you would not be here otherwise...I am sorry, you both must have gone through so much...I suppose she was never married..."

"No, but Your Majesty...I'm not..."

Rong Jing wasn't coherent enough to guess what she was trying to say before she dissolved into a fit of coughing. He quickly poured a cup of water from the bedside table and said, "I'm sorry, dearest, you are not well, and I'm interrogating you."

"But I - I - "

He didn't let her finish but helped her sit up and helped her take a drink from the cup. All the while, Xiao Yan was still staring at him with amazement, but no little fear and panic in her eyes. Pain swept over the Emperor again, he regretted that his own daughter, his own child could take his care with such amazement. How she must had missed the presence of a father in life. Poor girl. He kissed her forehead gently as he helped her lay back down on the bed. She seemed short of breath, though she was still trying to talk, but he shushed her, telling her that everything could wait.

"Other things can wait for later. But you are here now, you are home and that's all that matters."

A few minutes later, the doctor knocked on the door and entered the room, effectively putting stop to any further conversation.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Zi Wei slept badly and woke up early the next morning. She was determined to be at the hospital the moment visiting hours opened. Remember what the nurse said the night before, she shoved all the IDs she possessed into her purse before leaving the house.

She drummed her fingers impatiently on the window as she sat on the bus, waiting for the morning traffic to thin. When she finally got the hospital, it was already nearly 9:30. She approached the reception desk again.

"I'd like to see a patient, please," she said, knowing that she'd have to explain to this nurse again who she was seeing. The nurse from the night before had apparently finished her shift.

"Name, please?"

"Xia Xiao Yan."

The nurse typed in the name and then stared at the computer screen for a full ten seconds before looking up curiously at Zi Wei. "May I ask your name and your relation to Miss Xia?"

"My name is Xia Zi Wei and I'm her flatmate," Zi Wei said with forced patience.

"You are a relative?" the nurse pressed.

"Well, not exactly, she's my friend and we live together. She doesn't have any relative to her knowledge."

"I'm afraid - " the nurse started but Zi Wei cut her off.

"Look, I know there has to be a security check and whatever else, but I really just want to see my friend. I will stay clear of the Fifth Prince's room if it's an issue."

"One moment, please," the nurse said guardedly, before picking up the phone. Speaking to whoever it was on the other side, she said, "This is front reception. There's a young lady here wishing to see Miss Xia Xiao Yan. She claims to be her flatmate." A long pause. "Her name is Xia Zi Wei." Pause. "Yes, yes." Another pause. "Yes. All right. Thank you, sir."

Turning back to Zi Wei, the nurse smiled. "Please take a seat and wait. Officer Fu Er Kang, head of the Prince's security, will be down shortly to speak to you."

Zi Wei thanked her and tried to sit down on the seat as indicated, when in truth she wanted to pace around, as agitated as she was. But she was glad that the person coming down was Fu Er Kang. She had met his brother, Fu Er Tai, and she knew beyond his job, Fu Er Kang was also a fairly good friend of Yong Qi. Er Kang must know of her, even if they had never been introduced, considering he follows Yong Qi around quite a bit at uni, but always disguised to blend in, of course.

"Miss Xia," Fu Er Kang approached her a short while later. "I'm Fu Er Kang. I understand you want to see Miss Xiao Yan?"

"Yes, please," she sighed with relief at the sight of him.

Er Kang led her down the corridor towards the lift, meanwhile asked for an ID. "It's a standard procedure, I'll just have to scan it before I can let you into the Imperial Wing," he explained, taking her ID. "And I'm afraid you're going to have to leave your bag outside."

"Is there a metal detector too?" she half-joked as they entered the lift.

"Actually, yes," Er Kang smiled. Why was she not surprised? Then again, she realised the fact that Er Kang knew who she was probably meant that she got in a little easier than some other random person who would claim to be a friend of either Yong Qi or Xiao Yan.

More soberly, she asked, "How are they? What happened anyway? I only got bits of the news last night..."

Er Kang briefly told her about the accident. "They have both woken up now, and the Emperor and the Prince were actually both speaking to Miss Xiao Yan when I left them."

Zi Wei felt her heart lurch up at the reminder that with Yong Qi in the hospital, it meant that his family must be here too. But it was not just any member of his family - his father - _their _father -

She had almost forgotten why they were even meeting Yong Qi the day before. She wondered whether Xiao Yan had a chance to tell Yong Qi anything yet. Whether she did or not, the truth was that in a matter of minutes, she - Zi Wei - would be meeting the Emperor. She clenched her teeth and tried to not show her nervousness on her face, but wondered whether she really succeeded. She was shaking all over inside and wondered if that showed outwardly. If it did, hopefully Er Kang would only think it was concern for her friend.

0o0o0o0o0o

When Yong Qi awoke early the next day, he didn't remember how his sister managed to get him to go to sleep the night before - a real sleep, not knocked-out-by-crashing-into-a-tree-unconsciousness. But he felt almost normal again, so well that it didn't seem like less than twenty-four hours earlier he had just crashed against a tree. Yet still, it was not his sister by his bedside, but his father and stepmother.

"How are you feeling?" the Empress asked while his father looked on worriedly, and certainly with a very preoccupied expression on his face.

"I'm fine," he managed to say. Then, remembering Xiao Yan, he asked, "Do you know whether my friend Xiao Yan is all right?"

A rather alarming silence greeted this question.

"What?" he almost demanded, trying to sit up but the Empress has pressed a firm hand on his shoulder, keeping him down.

"Did you know, Yong Qi?" his father was asking him, some pain palpable in his voice, and it confused Yong Qi.

"Maybe this isn't the time - " the Empress started.

"No, it's probably not, but I - I _need_ to..." the Emperor said.

The might ask well have spoken in a language he didn't understand because he had no idea what they were talking about.

"Know what?" he asked.

"About Xiao Yan." Still more confusing.

"Well, no, that's why I'm asking you how she is - "

"Not that, she will be fine. But did you know who she is?"

"She's my friend?" he spoke, but he knew this wasn't what his father was trying to get at. Indeed, his father was looking at him with an expression that Yong Qi didn't think he ever saw in his life. It was a mixture of guilt and wonder.

"Then you really have no idea..."

"About _what_?" Yong Qi pressed, feeling a little frustrated now at this cryptic conversation.

His father looked at him for a long moment, before sighing, "Later, Yong Qi. Not now, you are not well."

"I am fine, Huang Ah Ma. And you can't just confuse me like this then not explain anything! Please!"

Instead of an answer, Yong Qi was greeted with another question. "Why were you with her yesterday?" He bit back an exasperated sigh and glanced at the Empress, but she had a curiously closed expression on her face.

"Well, she wanted to talk to me about something, I'm not sure what - "

"I know," his father sighed again.

"You do?"

"She is your sister, Yong Qi."

Yong Qi felt like a ton of metal had just fell on his head, clanging in his ears. It didn't seem possible. It _could_ _not_ be possible.

"My - what?"

He listened as his father told the story of Xia Yu He, and his belief that Xiao Yan was the child from that affair. It was perhaps then, for the first time, that Yong Qi felt truly disappointed in his father. It was an emotion that he strived never to make his father feel about _him_, but now he was feeling it keenly. The reversal was painful, and he almost wished he had some kind of physical pain to distract him, to numb him.

"You must not blame Xiao Yan for any of this," his father was saying. "You have every right to be angry at me, and I cannot blame you for it, son, but you cannot be angry at Xiao Yan. She bears no fault. And you have known her enough to be her friend, I have to be able to depend on you to welcome her into this family - "

It took Yong Qi still several moments to think clearly, to recognise for himself the paradox in his father's story with everything Xiao Yan had told him about herself. Finally, he spoke, words that he knew his father didn't expect to hear, "Huang Ah Ma, she's not your daughter. She can't be!"

"Yong Qi - " his father frowned.

"No, I'm not in denial about anything you've just told me - I'm _trying_ to push that aside for now - I'm trying to tell you - she's not Xia Yu He's daughter, and so she's not your daughter! She grew up in Beijing and she has no idea who her family is or who her parents are, there's no way - "

"But the fan and painting she has - "

"Huang Ah Ma, did she_ tell _you she was Xia Yu He's daughter? Or did you assume that?" he asked.

"Well - now that you mentioned it, no. But she didn't deny it - "

"Did you give her a chance to?" he asked. Knowing his father, the answer was probably no.

"But it doesn't make sense." His father was shaking his head in disbelief. Yong Qi knew that whatever had so convinced him that Xiao Yan was his daughter, it was so strong that the idea would not go away unless Xiao Yan disconfirm it herself.

"Where is she?" Yong Qi asked abruptly.

"She's asleep. She has a cut on her neck which made her lose a lot of blood," the Emperor explained.

"Actually, she is up, I looked in on her before I came here," the Empress said.

"Let me go see her," Yong Qi said, and this request, predictably, was met with a firm "No!" "Huang Ah Ma, please, just let me speak to her. I'm fine. I think you intimidated her a little that she can't be that coherent around you - "

Yong Qi put up a valiant argument before finally his father let him go to the next room to see Xiao Yan. "I mean, alone," he sighed when they made to go with him.

His father looked at him, frowning and eyebrow raised.

"The point is to get her to relax," he said patiently.

"And you can do that?" his father asked. Yong Qi knew if his father didn't think Xiao Yan was his daughter, and thus Yong Qi's sister, this conversation would have an entirely different meaning to it.

"Better than you can, I think," he said, and he could tell by the way his father's frown deepened that Xiao Yan must had seem tense indeed in the conversation between them, however long it was.

He entered Xiao Yan's room to find her awake, and staring around the room with a look of decided boredom. He smiled when she caught sight of him, but she looked simply...guilty. He closed the door behind him, but he knew his father was probably listening at the door. He would have laughed at the idea of the Emperor eavesdropping if the situation wasn't so intense.

"Hi," he said, sitting down by her head side.

"How are you?"

"Better that you look, that's for sure."

"I look that bad?" she smiled weakly.

"You look pale. I'm sorry, by the way - "

"The accident wasn't your fault," she cut him off. "But Yong Qi, I have to tell you something." Her voice sounded definitely panicky now. "It's horrible and I don't even know where to start but I've just done a horrible thing. I swear I didn't mean to, I was going to fix it but then - "

"Xiao Yan, Xiao Yan," Yong Qi said hastily, guessing what she was talking about and laid a hand on her arm. "Calm down."

She took a deep breath and looked at him with her eyes wide with fear.

"Does it have anything to do with that fan and painting?" he asked quietly.

She nodded, and her breathing was definitely shallower now. "I - I - "

"Look, I know the basic, let me just ask you this, are you Xia Yu He's daughter?"

Xiao Yan sucked in a breath and her eyes welled up with tears, her breath coming out in gasps. "No," she finally managed to say. "But - but - "

"But my father thinks you are," he sighed, taking her hand and squeezing it comfortingly.

"I swear I didn't mean to - to mislead him - I tried - I tried to tell but - I - "

"It's ok," he soothed, "it's ok. It's all right, you didn't do anything wrong."

Despite the situation, despite the fact that he hadn't quite come to term with the whole idea of Xia Yu He at all, right then, the knowledge that Xiao Yan was not Xia Yu He's daughter brought him so much comfort and it felt as if an enormous weight had lifted off him. He wasn't sure what it was relief _from_ but he had never been so glad to know that a certain person was not related to him.

But Xiao Yan was still speaking, tears falling down her cheeks and onto her pillow, "I should have said from the beginning, but he was so kind, because he thought I was his daughter and - it was like he really was my father and for just a moment, I could pretend, for just a moment I could know what it was like to have a father - I wanted to have just a moment of it - even if I didn't have any right, even if none of it is really mine. I couldn't - couldn't bear to say anything. But I - I should have just said before he assumed anything - "

"Oh Xiao Yan," Yong Qi said gently. He had just assumed that Xiao Yan was too intimidated by the Emperor to say anything, but her reason for not correcting the Emperor's assumption was even more heartbreaking. It made him realise that no matter how strong Xiao Yan may seem on the outside, there were still so many holes in her life and so much missing from her childhood that it could make her crumble at any moment. He wanted to reach out and brush away those tears, but he didn't know whether that would just make her more uncomfortable. So he just gave her some tissues from the bedside. "It's all right, you know, really. No harm was done."

"It's really Zi Wei," Xiao Yan finally said after her tears had subsided a bit. Yong Qi wasn't too surprised, he had guessed, but he didn't want to say anything to either his father or Xiao Yan before Xiao Yan herself said it. He didn't want it to be another assumption. "That's what we needed to talk to you about yesterday - but then - "

"Then the accident," he nodded. "I get it."

"Are you all right?" Xiao Yan asked, looking at him warily. "However you found out, it certainly wasn't the way we planned to let you know...in fact, Zi Wei almost was going to just never tell anyone, but I convinced her to..."

"I'm fine," he answered wearily. "To be honest, it's not the most wonderful thing to find out on top of everything else, but I think it would have been worst if I didn't know Zi Wei first. And she...who can hate her, really?"

"So if it really was me, would you hate me?" she tried to joke.

He gave a more genuine smile and shook his head, "If it was you, it would be even more impossible for me to hold it against you. But to be honest...I'm not interested in being your brother - anything else, but not your brother..."

He trailed off and from the uncertain look on her face, he was sure what he really meant had either sailed right over her head or she wasn't really letting it sink in yet. But he let it slide. This wasn't how he wanted this to happen either. There were still so many more things to think about.

"I suppose I should tell my father - "

Xiao Yan looked very timid at this. "Would he be very angry?"

"No, I should think mortified that he made such an assumption, but he really can't be angry at you."

0o0o0o0o

Xiao Yan had no idea which was more terrifying - meeting the Emperor when he thought she was his daughter, or meeting the Emperor when she must tell him his assumption was all wrong. It was bittersweet, really, parting with the fatherly affection that she tasted so briefly, but she knew above all, it was the right thing. And she didn't set out to meet Yong Qi the morning before to cheat her friend of her place. No, no matter what the Emperor assumed before, Xiao Yan knew it was inevitable that she correct him, no matter how it hurt much more than she ever thought possible, no matter what she, herself, was letting go.

"Where is she?" the Emperor asked after he had time to be absolutely mortified - as Yong Qi predicted - about his mistake and after he had apologised as much to Xiao Yan as his position and his current state of shock would allow.

"She is - " Xiao Yan started, then looked over the Emperor and Yong Qi's shoulders, who had their back faced to the door - "right behind you."

And Zi Wei was standing there, Fu Er Kang next to her. Her face was absolutely white and a mix of emotions on her face - Xiao Yan could make out the worry, fear and relief at seeing her, but there was also nervousness and fear from laying eye on her father for the first time as well.

The Emperor and Yong Qi both turned around to face Zi Wei.

What happened after that emotional first meeting between Zi Wei and the Emperor, Xiao Yan didn't know, because they had gone into another room to talk, leaving Yong Qi with Xiao Yan again.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Are you all right?" Yong Qi asked.

She tried to smile reassuringly at him. "Yeah, why shouldn't I be?" Then, trying to veer the subject away from herself, she asked, "What would happen now?"

"Well...it would depends on what my father decides to do," Yong Qi said. "But whatever it is, it would still put parliament into a frantic shuffle of laws and precedence. There is no actual precedence for anything like this before, of course, unless you count in the feudal times when polygamy was still legal. If my father does want to formally acknowledge Zi Wei as his daughter, he would have to legitimise her, which would require a DNA test. He might believe Zi Wei, but on a legal ground, a paternity test is inevitable."

"I suppose that means if I ever wanted to take her place, I wouldn't be able to anyway," Xiao Yan smiled wryly.

"No," Yong Qi smiled. "Anyway, then I suppose an Act of Parliament is necessary, and after that, you could say all hell breaks loose. The media should have enough to talk about for the rest of the year. It's not going to be easy on Zi Wei, honestly. I really don't know how my brothers will react, or my grandmother, for that matter. And in this family...news like this hardly ever comes with privacy. But anyway, never you mind that. I should let you get some rest. It hasn't been a very peaceful morning for you, either."

_A/N: I deliberately left a lot of Zi Wei out of this chapter, though it could have been expanded to a lot more, with Zi Wei meeting the Emperor, etc. But my focus on this story would be Xiao Yan and Yong Qi. I'm not really looking to rewrite the whole of HZGG into modern form. In any case, once you take the historical setting out of it, a lot of the story gets lost along the way anyway. This is a rather self-indulgent piece where I write parts that interest me and leave a lot unsaid. But then I think it might get a little less interesting if I get into all the drama of the story in a modern setting. This story is going to be just fluff, above all. _


	6. Newsworthy

**Newsworthy**

"Are you happy, Zi Wei?" Xiao Yan asked, grinning at her friend. They were sitting in Zi Wei's bedroom at Shu Fang Zhai. Though the building still followed ancient palace architecture, there were definite touches of more modern styles in the bedroom, especially in the furnishing.

"Yes, well, now that all _that_ confrontation with the press has finally cooled a bit, I don't think I could ask for anything else," Zi Wei said.

Certainly, the media storm that came with the announcement of Zi Wei being the Emperor's illegitimate daughter still raged outside, but after having Zi Wei endure through one rather terrifying confrontation with the press, the Palace press representatives had explicitly demanded that the press leave the new princess alone. From then on, they would deal with the remaining questions regarding the Emperor's efforts in legitimising her, her eventual inheritance, her rights to the throne, her place in the Imperial family and her future duties as part of that family. Both Xiao Yan and Zi Wei knew it wasn't over yet, but the Emperor had told Zi Wei not to worry about it. Xiao Yan suspected that even if Zi Wei wanted to worry about it, she wouldn't know where to begin.

Xiao Yan was still confined to the hospital when the Emperor took her to be introduced to the rest of her immediate family, so she had little idea of how that turned out. But according to Zi Wei, that considering the news, everyone took the news rather well. Xiao Yan wondered whether Yong Qi had anything to do with that; she suspected that without Yong Qi's acceptance as an example, Zi Wei might have a slightly harder time acquainting herself with her family. But either Zi Wei was too sweet for Yong Qi to resent her, or Yong Qi was too nice to resent her, in the end, it _was_ a good thing that Yong Qi knew Zi Wei as Xia Zi Wei before he knew her as Xia Yu He's daughter.

"It's not all this, you know - " Zi Wei continued, gesturing the large bedroom with the walk in closet and all manners of riches that were her apartments. "It's just knowing that I have a family and that I have somewhere to be, you know?"

"Yeah," Xiao Yan sighed. Really, she understood too well of that desire. Then she grinned again, "So what now, Princess?"

Zi Wei laughed, "Don't you dare call me that. Well, now I guess I get to realise what being part of all this means with all the attention and the media and whatever else...somehow in the middle of all that, finish uni and...I don't know?"

"Get married, have children, be a princess," Xiao Yan suggested, laughing.

"I don't even really know what being a princess entails," Zi Wei sighed. "Though Huang Ah Ma did say that that for the time being, I should just not worry about any official duty and just focus on uni, which is probably all I'd be able to do. It would take time to just get used to having all this... Oh I have something to ask you, though."

"Hmmm?"

"I talked to Huang Ah Ma about this and he said it was fine. In fact, he rather likes the idea. Move in with me, come live here with me."

"What?" Xiao Yan sat bolt up, staring at her friend, astonished. "Are you kidding?"

"No," Zi Wei said earnestly. "I know here I'm surrounded by family and everything but it won't be the same without you. And I don't like the idea of you living alone, and so far from me. Please, Xiao Yan? It would be like before, nothing would change, just that we live here, instead."

"But...how do I just...come live with you? I mean, all this is in your allowance as a princess, but me, I'm not in anyway related to your family..."

"You're my best friend! You were there with me through so many things and I don't feel like living in this big house by myself either. Huang Ah Ma said that if you agree it would be sorted out with the Household departments and everything. It'll be safer for you here and closer to uni. You can work if you want, even if they won't allow _me_ to work now, but I know I can't keep you away from it, but still, it'll be safer here."

"And what, just live here with you indefinitely?" Xiao Yan asked uneasily.

"Yes, what's wrong with that?"

"Well, just...in the future, what happens when we finish uni and everything, and you...I don't know, if you get married?"

"Oh for goodness sake, Xiao Yan, isn't that going a bit far into the future? I don't have a boyfriend, besides, we just started uni. We can work all that out later. But for now, I need you to help me adjust to all this. Besides, I'm not letting you go anywhere, you'd still be my friend. You'd have to get used to most of this too. So just come here and adjust with me. Besides, aren't you pretty much staying here, now?"

"Yes, but that's only because you insist on it while I recover, I'm not even sure from what. I'm fine now. I don't plan to stay this long you know."

"Why not?" Zi Wei asked. "Surely you think me a better friend than that, besides, do you think I'd really let you go back to that apartment alone?"

"I've lived alone before," she shrugged.

"But you don't have to anymore!" Zi Wei insisted. "Besides, people know who you are now, Xiao Yan, it won't be safe for you to be alone."

"Oh come on, as if anyone would care about me."

"I don't know, Xiao Yan," Zi Wei frowned. "Huang Ah Ma pretty much jumped at the idea of you moving here too and he said a reason was for both my safety and yours. People know you're a close friend of mine now, and they will be following you around and you'd be alone. Please, Xiao Yan, what's wrong with staying here with me?"

"Nothing, exactly," Xiao Yan said slowly. "I'd miss you otherwise, but still, it just seem wrong that I'm imposing - "

"Imposing!" Zi Wei interrupted. "Oh stop it! I'm inviting you, right? And I want you here!"

"It's just weird. What would I be, here? You are Princess Huan Zhu. What am I?"

"My friend!"

"That's it?"

"I dare say princesses need friends, too, Xiao Yan," Zi Wei said.

Xiao Yan got up and walked around the room. She didn't want to be away from Zi Wei either. Her friend had come to mean more to her than just normal friendship. At times, Xiao Yan really felt they were more like sisters and she would miss Zi Wei terribly. But it felt so weird to just move into her house when she would not contribute anything to her right to stay there.

"I need to think about this," Xiao Yan said finally, turning to face Zi Wei. "I can't even wrap my head around the idea yet, Zi Wei. Just - just let me think for a couple of days, all right?"

"All right," Zi Wei stood up as well and took her hand. "But you know I need you here. This is my family, yes, but everything is as foreign to me as they are to you. I confess I need some familarity around me. This is a more selfish request than you think."

0o0o0o0o0o

Despite their talk, Xiao Yan found she could not afford herself time to think much on her friend's suggestion when her first round of university exams was looming closer than ever, and she'd already missed too many crucial classes. She found herself spending time in the library more to catch up.

One evening, she was pouring over books in a study room in the library when a knock sounded on the glass door. She looked up to see Yong Qi standing there and a moment later, he stepped inside the room.

"What are you doing here this late?" she asked him.

"I could ask you the same thing," he smiled, sitting down next to her. "I'm heading home but apparently you are not even considering the idea yet."

"I have to catch up," she shrugged. "We did miss two weeks of classes. Exams are in less than a week."

"It's nine o'clock on a Friday evening, Xiao Yan. Why isn't Zi Wei with you anyway?"

"She had to see the Empress earlier, and I told her I could get back by myself," she said.

"Come on, I'll take you home," he said.

Xiao Yan sighed and knew that when he got like this, she didn't have much chance arguing so began gathering up her things. As they walked out of the library, he asked, "So when are you really moving the rest of your things in?"

"What?"

"With Zi Wei. She asked you to move in, didn't she?" he asked.

"Yes," she sighed. "But I - I don't know. I can't think about it right now, there's too much on my mind. I told her I'd decide after exams."

"After exams is the Lunar New Year and I doubt she'd let you be alone then," Yong Qi grinned. "You might as well move in."

"It just seems so...weird, to be living somewhere I don't have to pay for or earned," she said. "Kind of like the orphanage."

"You shouldn't think like that," Yong Qi said gently. "It's different. Zi Wei practically sees you as her sister. In any case, I don't like the idea of you living alone now, either, when there's be reporters and paparazzi out for you too."

"Surely it wont' be that bad," she shrugged.

"Oh, you'd be surprised at the way they'd bother you for stories about Zi Wei. Trust me, Xiao Yan, don't underestimate the determination of the tabloids."

Xiao Yan sighed but didn't answer. They walked in silence for a while before Yong Qi spoke again.

"Maybe I could give you another reason to move in with Zi Wei," he said.

"What?"

"You'd be closer to me, and I'd be able to see you more often," he said slowly.

Xiao Yan stopped in her track, so that he stopped too. She turned slowly to face him and said, "What do you mean?"

"Would you consider it for that reason?" he asked, stepping so close to her that they could reach out at touch each other. He was looking at her with eyes that burned bright even in the darkness. She frowned. Surely he could not mean what she thought he meant.

"I - " she started. But then she didn't get to finish whatever she was about to say, because he took her hand, pulled her closer to him and pressed a kiss on her lips.

Xiao Yan felt the world was spinning around her; she could not react. She felt she must pull away, but could not bring herself to. His lips felt soft on hers, but she could not think. What was he doing? _Why_? What was going on? The questions muddled up her mind and confused her so that she lost control of her own body, and ended up gripping him for balance. She nearly stumbled when he finally let her go. The kiss was not long, his lips have left hers but still, her skin tingled, her cheeks flushed, she felt hot all over and stiffled, like someone just sucked all the air out of her, so that she could not breathe. She gasped for breath and stared up at him in shock. He was looking at her with eyes still shining in the darkness, and there was something in that look that scared her. There was too many emotions, too many feelings in there, and she felt unable to take them all. She didn't know what she was feeling herself, so how could she accept his? She gave another gasp and turned on her heels and ran, hardly hearing him calling her name behind her. She didn't know what he meant by that kiss, she had no idea why he had kissed her. She didn't know how she was supposed to face such a kiss, and it terrified her! She just pulled her coat closer around her as she realised that it had started snowing, and ran. But he caught up with her in no time.

"Xiao Yan, Xiao Yan, stop!" he said firmly, pulling her into the sheltered parking lot.

"Let go, let go of me," she cried, struggling in vain against his grasp. Even through their two layers of gloves, it scared her to suddenly have her hand so firmly in his. She was not even sure why it all had unnerved her so. She just knew she could not look at him.

"I'm not leaving you alone in the middle of a winter night when it's snowing, Xiao Yan," he said, pulling her towards his car and opening the door. "Get in."

"No, I can get back by myself, thanks," she said, shivering in the cold.

"Get in," he said again, more insistently this time. She blindly did as he said, because it was too cold outside, not because she knew what was going on. The kiss had made her lose all her bearings. She had no idea what was going on, where she was. She didn't even know why that one kiss suddenly made her feel so weak, so out of control of herself.

A moment later, he slipped in the driver's seat but didn't start the car right away. The situation swept an overwhelming sense of déjà vu over Xiao Yan that she shivered.

"Are you still cold?" he asked as he turned up the heater. She silently shook her head.

He was silent for a long moment, as if trying to gather his thoughts too, while she was trying to keep up with hers. Her mind was still spinning too much to make sense of anything.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, finally. His voice was gentler now, and he was looking at her with pain in his eyes. "I - "

"For what?" she asked, dazed.

"Not for kissing you," he said, "nor for the feelings behind it. I like you, _a lot_, Xiao Yan. I don't know why you couldn't see it before. But I do! I am only sorry if it offended you."

Offended her? Did that kiss offend her? Why was she feeling so confused? Was it because she was upset with the kiss? Or was it because of something else? If it was something else, what? She had no idea. She could think of no way to answer him so she just stayed silent. After a long while, he finally started the car and backed out of the parking lot.

It was hardly the first time they've been alone in a car together but their journey had never been this silent, nor this...uncomfortable. She had no idea what to think, much less say to him. He, likewise, didn't speak, but just drove silently. The journey back to the palace was short, but it seemed to stretch for miles for Xiao Yan. As soon as he stopped the car in front of Shu Fang Zhai, Xiao Yan bolted out of the car, forgetting even her bag and ran into the house, in her room and slammed the door behind her, throwing herself onto the bed.

0o0o0o0o0

Zi Wei heard a car approach and looked out the window to see Yong Qi pulling into the drive. Breathing a sigh of relief, she was sure Xiao Yan was with him. She was about to call Xiao Yan on the cell phone that Xiao Yan had resisted but she had insisted on giving her, so that it would be easier to find her. But Zi Wei was startled when Xiao Yan ran out of the car and into the house, looking upset.

Zi Wei got to the entrance hall to see Yong Qi handing Xiao Yan's book bag to the housekeeper. He too, looked preoccupied.

"Yong Qi? What happened?" she asked, approaching her brother.

Yong Qi sighed. "I - " He stumbled around for words a bit, and it was so unlike Yong Qi that Zi Wei could only stare him. By the time he found words to describe what happened, the two of them were alone in the entry. "I kissed her."

"What?" Zi Wei exclaimed. It was not a shock to her that Yong Qi would want to kiss Xiao Yan. No, she had known of her brother's feelings for her friend. But the fact that he had kissed her, and yet Xiao Yan looked upset, and so did he, that bewildered her. Then knowing they could not possibly discuss this in the entry, she pulled him into the living room and pushed him on the couch. Then, she sat down opposite him, placed a comforting hand on his arm and asked. "Really, what happened?"

Yong Qi buried his face in his hands and groaned. He looked so dejected that it broke her heart. "I think I just messed it up spectacularly, Zi Wei."

"You said you kissed her. How?" she asked.

It took Yong Qi a moment to gather himself and tell her the story. "I saw her in the library and it was late so I persuaded her to go home with me. Then we started talking about her moving in with you and...I ...I don't know what got over me. I told her that if she moved in with you she could be closer to me. And then I kissed her."

"Then what?" she prompted.

"She ran away." He shook his head in confusion.

"She ran away?" Zi Wei frowned.

"She just kind of stared at me in horror then ran away. I managed to catch up with her, I couldn't leave her, Zi Wei! It was snowing. I kind of forced her in the car and brought her here. But then...I don't know!" he cried and ran a hand through his hair nervously.

"Did she say anything?" she pressed.

"No," he groaned. "She was just...silent."

"What did you say to her?"

"What was I supposed to say?" he looked at her helplessly. "I...apologised."

"You _what_?" Zi Wei exclaimed. "You apologised for kissing her?"

"Not for _kissing _her, for offending her! I can't bring myself to regret kissing her!" he said candidly.

"Oh." She looked at her brother sympathetically. "Did she say anything to that?"

"No," he shook his head.

Zi Wei wondered how he managed to drive this far without crashing the car in the state that he was in. She sighed finally and said gently, "I think you just shocked her. Just give her a night to think about this. I don't think Xiao Yan's ever considered the fact that you might be interested in her. She's just...confused."

"How could she not know that I'm interested?" he asked in frustration. "I've been finding any excuse to call her, to see her, to talk to her! I've never gone out of my way to spend so much time alone with any other girl before and I don't even care if the tabloids happen to pair us together!"

"I know, but Xiao Yan doesn't see it like that! She - she's never had this kind of attention from a guy before. You took her off guard. Just give her time. Don't ...don't think too negatively about her reaction."

"Do you think - ?" he asked.

"I don't know," she said honestly. "I don't, Yong Qi. But...it's not something she can sort out in a short time. Just give her time, all right? I'll try to talk to her."

"All right," Yong Qi sighed finally, getting up.

Zi Wei saw him to the door. "Don't drive back to Jing Yang Gong. Walk. I'll get someone to take the car back for you. I don't want you to crash another car again."

"Well, I only seem to do that around Xiao Yan, apparently," he chuckled.

"It'll be all right," Zi Wei patted his shoulder encouragingly. "She doesn't _dislike_ you, Yong Qi."

She knew that definitely wouldn't have helped, but Yong Qi gave a half smile anyway. "Thanks anyway, Zi Wei."

0o0o0o0o0

Zi Wei knocked on Xiao Yan's room and when her friend didn't answer, she went in anyway. She found Xiao Yan lying flat on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Xiao Yan?" she said gently, sitting down on the bed next to Xiao Yan.

"He kissed me," Xiao Yan whispered distantly, as if she didn't believe it herself. "Why?"

"Maybe...because he likes you," Zi Wei said slowly.

"But why?" Xiao Yan pressed on, sitting up and staring at Zi Wei. "Why would he _like_ me?"

"What's not to like?" Zi Wei asked.

"But he - he could have any girl he wants, why does he - why _me_?"

"Maybe you should ask him," Zi Wei said gently. "But he does like you a lot, Xiao Yan. It's kind of obvious to anyone who has been looking."

"I just don't get it. It doesn't make sense."

"Maybe not, but love hardly ever make sense," Zi Wei shrugged. "Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything."

Xiao Yan only managed a weak smile.

"Xiao Yan," Zi Wei said gently, "forget whether his feelings make sense. What do you feel?"

"I don't know!" she exclaimed, frustrated. "Before - before I would have said he was a friend! But now - "

"Now?"

"I - Why did he have to kiss me? Why did it have to change _everything?_"

"It only changed because you let it, Xiao Yan," Zi Wei smiled. She bit back a chuckle and just let Xiao Yan mull over things a bit.

"I'm scared, Zi Wei," she said finally, in a small voice and looked so much more vulnerable.

"Of what?"

"Of feeling too much. He can't be serious. He can't. I can't do this. It'll just end up a disaster and then it would just ruin _everything_!"

"I don't think so. But I won't try to persuade you either way, Xiao Yan. I love you too much to try to force you on my brother. But think about it. Do you think Yong Qi would really play with you like that?"

"I just don't see why else he would like me!"

"You're smart, you're pretty, you're nice. Though I don't think any of that matters as much as the fact that you treat him normally."

Xiao Yan flopped back onto the bed and buried her face in a pillow. "I don't need this now! I - why do I feel like this? It's so not fair! I just want to get through these exams alive, not to have to think about - _this_!"

"So don't think about it," Zi Wei said. "Save it for later. Let the air clear a bit, and think about it rationally. Later."

0o0o0o0o0o0o

Xiao Yan did spend the majority of the next week avoiding Yong Qi, which was surprisingly easy. He didn't try to seek her out as before, as if aware that she was trying to avoid him. Part of her wondered whether her reaction had pushed him away, so that he had dropped his interest in her. But Zi Wei assured her otherwise, that he was just letting her have the space and time to think. Besides, Zi Wei pointed out, he had his own exams to worry about too. Xiao Yan didn't realise, however, that the very fact that she was worried about his absence spoke much about her own feelings, though Zi Wei more than caught it.

It was not until the day of her last exam that Xiao Yan saw Yong Qi again. Considering they lived within a fifteen minutes walk of each other and went to the same university and had exams in the same building, it was quite a feat that it took them this long to run into each other again. She was leaving her exam when he came over to her.

"Do you want a ride home?" he asked. She hesitated a bit and squirmed as a couple of girls walked by, giggling at the sight of them together. She cringed but he didn't react at all, and just waited calmly.

"All right," she sighed and followed him into the parking lot.

"How was your exam?" he asked as they got into the car.

"Horrible," she wrinkled her nose. "It's all your fault."

"Oh, how so?"

"I've been so distracted this past entire week. And you know why."

"I'm sure you'll be fine," he said, pulling out of the parking lot. "Are you finished now with exams?"

"Yes," she said. "Zi Wei still has one tomorrow though."

He drove in silence for a while until they stopped under a traffic light. Then he turned to her, smiling, "Do you want to go somewhere for lunch? We could celebrate the end of exams."

She bit her lip nervously. She still had no idea what to do about the situation that was between them; she didn't know why she let him drive her today. It was probably more habit than anything. Could she go to lunch with him? She had never really gone out to eat with just him before, never to anywhere public and alone, just the two of them. Did she want to give him that chance, to give herself that chance?

"All right," she agreed, only after the car had started moving again. "Only if you're not going to get us into an accident again."

He smiled. "I don't think lightning strikes twice in the same place."

Again, there was another silent, not exactly uncomfortable, but one she wanted to break. So she said, "I told Zi Wei I would move in."

"Really?" he asked, sounding very happy about it. Then his tone became a little hesitant, "I had thought after what happened the other day that you would - "

Neither of them had mentioned the time when he kissed her outside the university parking lot that snowy night before this. She shifted a bit awkwardly, being reminded of it.

"I will admit..." she said slowly, "that part of the reason was you." She could hear him inhale deeply but he couldn't take his eyes off the road. She could see his fingers gripping the steering wheel tigher, however. Taking a deep breath, she asked, "Were you serious, the other day?"

"Yes," he said sincerely and simply.

"But _why_?" she asked. "Why _me_?"

He started speaking carefully, as if weighing every word, putting all his feelings in every word so that she might understand. "For the first time in my life, I meet a girl who didn't assume to know me, but wanted to get to know me. She treated me like a normal person, like a friend. She wanted to know me for me, not for my title or for attention or fame. When I'm around her, for the first time in my life, I could just be myself, be Yong Qi, and not have any expectations of being the Fifth Prince. For the first time I know that I don't have to be perfect, that even if I mess up, she would understand and forgive me for it. You're asking me why I've fallen in love with her?"

Her breath caught in her throat as she listened to his words. Her voice was shaky as she asked, "What did you say?"

"I love you," he said, turning to look at her.

"Keep your eyes on the road!" she exclaimed, panicking.

He chuckled and turned back to the road while she turned his words over in her head. Did he just say he _loved _her?

"I don't know when it started, Xiao Yan," he confessed after she didn't say anything. "I don't even know when it got so strong. I know the other day, I told you I like you, a lot. And I do. But then I went home and thought about everything that's happened ever since I met you. And the truth is...I've started liking you from the moment you sat huddling in my jacket in my car, trying to ignore who I was and waiting for me to introduce myself. And somewhere a long the way...that liking had grown into so much more. Somewhere along the way, I've fallen so deeply in love with you that I don't even know what to do with myself. The more I know of you, the more I feel I have more to learn, to know and the more I know can't possibly stay away from you. I was terrified when you ran away after I kissed you, I was so afraid that I've ruined all my chances with you."

His eyes were still straight ahead on the road as he said all this, of course, but the way he said it all was so tender, so full of feelings, that it made Xiao Yan feel light-headed. How could she not believe such a confession?

He had stopped the car in front of a restaurant near the Summer Palace. She had not realised they had stopped moving until he let go of the steering wheel and took her hand in his. He rubbed his thumb against the back of her hand, and she didn't pull away. Somehow, she felt suddenly unbearably shy and looked down on her lap.

"Xiao Yan," he said gently, "can you give us a chance? I'm not asking for anything permanent or long term yet. I know I can't expect you to feel as deeply as I do now, but if I have to woo you, I will. In fact, I would enjoy trying to convince you to feel the same... Can we give it a try?"

She raised her eyes to look at him. "I'm here, am I not?" she smiled hesitantly. That was all she could say, but the way his eyes lit up showed her that he understood what she was too shy to say. He raised her hand to his lips and pressed tiny kisses on the back of it, before pressing it to his cheek. She could not help but let her fingers caress his cheek lightly, taking in the feel of his skin underneath her touch. Her heart seemed to be beating at an impossible rate as he looked at her with eyes shining with emotions. "Thank you," he whispered, before kissing each of her fingers.

"Come on," he said finally, handing her her coat and got out of the car. He went over to her side and opened the door for her, helping her out. Then he wrapped his arms around her shoulder and guided her into the restaurant. She could not help enjoying the weight of his arms around her, but still looked around nervously.

"Don't think about it," he whispered in her ears. "Let them look."

They had a lovely lunch in a warm, private room of the restaurant. After the meal, he held her hand as they walked back to the car and by then, she'd forgotten about all her hesitation before. She shivered slightly in the cold and tugged her scarf around her neck and rubbed her nose.

"You all right?" he asked as they stopped in front of the car in the parking lot.

"I can't feel my nose," she said.

He smiled and leaned down, kissing the tip of her nose, making her look up at him in surprise with shining eyes. He grinned at her.

"Better?" he asked.

"Now I can't feel my lips," she whispered. He laughed delightedly and captured her lips between his in a wonderfully sweet kiss. She sighed giddily against his lips and wrapped her arms around his neck, leaned back against the car, letting herself enjoy the warmth his kisses and embrace brought in the cold winter day. She touched his cheek gently with her hand, grinned at him as he slowly broke the kiss.

"Are you warm now?" he whispered, his breath fluttering, warm against her skin. She nodded happily and sighed as he leaned in to kiss the tip of her nose again. "What do you want to do now?"

"I don't know. Go somewhere warm," she giggled.

"The car would be warmer," he agreed and opened the door for her. As he got into the driver seat, he grinned at her, "Are you up to doing something exciting?"

"How exciting?" she asked, curious.

"We could go to the Imperial Stables and I can teach you to ride."

"A horse?" she asked, eyes wide.

He smiled. "Yes. You can't live in a Manchurian court and not learn to ride, Xiao Yan."

"I seem to be risking my limbs a lot as I spend time with you," she grumbled.

He laughed and took her hand. "I won't let you fall," he assured her.

She did end up letting Yong Qi teach her to ride - or at least, introduce her to a horse, anyway. It was more fun that she remembered having in the longest time. They ended up having an early dinner; not exactly candle lit but she could not care for that when it was with him. They have never spent a whole day just in each other's company like this, yet still she didn't think she had had a better day. It was still early when he drove them back to the palace, but he told her they might as well come back early before anyone wondered where they were. It was incredible that Zi Wei had not called to ask where she was considering her exam finished at noon but then again, Zi Wei was probably too stressed about her exam the next afternoon.

Xiao Yan had so much fun the whole day that she totally forgot about the security officers who would follow them around. She asked him about them when they were in the car going back to the palace.

"Er Kang was on duty," Yong Qi said simply. "He sent me a text telling me he was clearing off some officers to give us some space and reminded me to keep him updated of where I was."

"So they would know," she said nervously.

"Yes, but they know a lot more than most people. Don't worry, they're not allowed to tell even Huang Ah Ma unless there's a crisis. I have to have a certain degree of trust in them or the purpose of their being there would be pointless. Besides, I'm not going to try and hide the fact that we're together, Xiao Yan. It's only going to spawn more gossip."

He brought her back to Shu Fang Zhai and kissed her in the car, knowing she probably wouldn't want to display their affection so publicly in front of the servants at the door. Still, he walked her to the door and squeezed her hand.

"Good night, Xiao Yan," he said gently, smiling.

She could not help but gave a happy smile back. "Good night."

She was too giddy about the entire day to seek Zi Wei out and disturb her, so she quietly went to her room. Though she got back early, she didn't manage to get to sleep until late at night, being kept awake by wonderful memory of the whole day. She could not help lying in bed, grinning like a fool whenever she remembered the way he kissed her, or the way he would smile at her and how warm her hand felt in his. She had frankly never felt any of this feeling before; after all, he had stolen her first kiss but then he had given back so many more delicious kisses that day.

0o0o0o0o0o

Xiao Yan woke the next morning being shook rudely awake by her friend. "It's too early, go away, Zi Wei," she mumbled, pulling a pillow over her head.

"It's not early," Zi Wei said, pulling the pillow away from her. "It's 9 o'clock, and I have a bone to pick with you."

Xiao Yan sat sleepily up. "What?" she groaned.

"Why exactly am I finding out about this from the newspaper?" Zi Wei demanded, slapping the morning paper in her lap. Xiao Yan rubbed her eyes and looked down, gasping as she saw a photo of Yong Qi and her in a deep kiss, leaning against his car, covering half the front page.

"Oh no!" she groaned.

"Well?" Zi Wei prompted, sitting down next to her on the bed.

"What did the paper say?" she asked hesitantly.

"I don't know, I haven't read it. But this photo says a lot. And I don't care what the paper says, what do you have to say?"

"Have you talked to Yong Qi?" Xiao Yan ignored her question. "What does he say?"

"I tried calling him, he didn't answer, but he sent you a text," Zi Wei said, nodding to her phone on the bedside table. Xiao Yan grabbed it and opened the text message.

_Talking to Huang Ah Ma and Grandmother about the article. I'll be over to see you later. Relax. It'll be fine. Love you. _

"So, do you want to tell me?" Zi Wei pressed again. "There are more photos inside, you know, and I haven't even checked the internet yet."

Xiao Yan sighed and pushed the paper away. "I spent the whole day with your brother yesterday after our exams and yes, we kissed. Does that answer your question?"

"No," Zi Wei said bluntly. "It was more than one kiss if these pictures are any indication. What did he say to you?"

"In short? He told me...he told me he loved me," she said, still full of wonder.

Her friend didn't look surprised at all at the information and just pressed her for more information, impatiently, "And...?"

"And...he...I don't know, asked me out? Asked me to be his girlfriend? I don't know what to call it. But yes, it ends up with the fact that we are together."

Zi Wei gave an excited squeal. "Really?"

"I don't go around kissing random guys, Zi Wei," Xiao Yan sniffed. "Even if the guy in question is a prince."

"And what do you feel about him?" Zi Wei asked shrewedly.

Xiao Yan blushed. She hadn't quite figured out that part of things yet, though it was a sure thing that she liked him. A lot. She didn't know whether she dared calling it love but there was no denying that she had never felt so wonderful and comfortable around any other male before. No one had ever made her feel as cherished as he managed to do just after one day together.

"I - I think you know even before I realised it, Zi Wei," she said, her voice muffled with the pillow she had thrown over her face to hide her blush.

"You like him don't you?" Zi Wei smirked. "Of course you do."

"Stop it," she moaned. "All right, I do, so what?"

"I just can't believe you let me find out from the newspaper!" Zi Wei hit her with a pillow.

"You were studying! I didn't want to disturb you," Xiao Yan mumbled.

"Well, when he asks you to marry him, you better tell me yourself," Zi Wei said.

"What? We're nowhere near that yet," Xiao Yan squeaked.

"No," Zi Wei smiled. "But you will get there."

Would they? She didn't want to think so far into the future yet...even if the idea of a future with Yong Qi was rather...attractive. "Oh Heaven, what have I gotten myself into?" she groaned, but Zi Wei just laughed in reply.

"You were practically asking for it," Zi Wei smirked. "Seriously, Xiao Yan, kissing in the parking lot?"

"So I got carried away," she said. "It was just so _nice_..."

Zi Wei snickered and hit her with a pillow again. "You'd want to get up and get dressed unless you want to see Yong Qi later in your nightdress."

0o0o0o0o0

Yong Qi woke up early from a wonderful dream about Xiao Yan and lingered in the warm bed thinking about her smiles and the wonderful feel of her lips on his. He only reluctantly forced himself out of bed and into the cold air when thinking about her was rapidly making him feel a bit too good. Quickly going through his morning routine, he soon got dressed before heading for the dining room for breakfast, where he found his secretary waiting for him, which was an odd occurance.

"What's going on, Guo Ying?" he asked, accepting a cup of coffee from a kitchen maid.

"You may want to take a look at his, sir," Guo Ying said hesitantly, laying the morning paper down in front of him.

Yong Qi sighed and put down the cup in his hand. "Well, to be honest, I would be surprised if this didn't make the front page," he said wearily.

"Sir?"

Yong Qi just flicked through the paper, not bothering to see what story they came up with, but found other photos inside. There were photos of him holding and kissing Xiao Yan's hand in the car, photos of them hand in hand and with his arms around her. He knew it was probably too good to be true if there weren't reporters hanging around trying to snap up something, he was only worried what reactions would rise from this.

"Has anyone from the Qian Qing Gong or Ci Ning Gong asked about this yet?" Yong Qi looked up and asked his secretary.

"Yes, Lu Jing Xia from Qian Qing Gong called me just now and told me that both the Emperor and the Dowager Empress desire your presence at Ci Ning Gong as soon as possible this morning."

"And the press?"

"They called. I - I declined comment for the time being."

Yong Qi just nodded. "You can prepare a confirmation statement for later, but check with Lu Jing Xia after my meeting with the Emperor and the Dowager Empress."

"Yes, sir."

Yong Qi had to take a moment to marvel at his secretary's discretion. He knew there was no way that Guo Ying was not feeling amazed at the way things had suddenly developed, but he was doing a stellar job at not showing his surprise. In fact, the politely blank look on the man's face could have fooled anyone to thinking that he saw this coming miles away.

If he had to be honest, Yong Qi had to admit that they really didn't need the press to clamour on this story on top of everything else that they still were writing about the whole situation with acknowleging Zi Wei as the Emperor's daughter. However, maybe with this story, people would back off of Zi Wei a bit.

Yong Qi decided to skip breakfast, despite the protests of Guo Ying, knowing that the earlier he got this conference out the better, and just downed his coffee. His phone rang as he made his way to his grandmother's residence. It was Zi Wei, but he didn't think he could get into this conversation with her now, so with a silent apology, he declined the call. But it did remind him that Xiao Yan would be far from happy at seeing this article and he had to assure her somehow. He would rather go see her right away but then he could not keep the meeting with his father and his grandmother waiting, so his best solution was to send her a message with the assurance that he would see her later.

Unsurprisingly, the Emperor, the Empress and the Dowager Empress were all gathered around the breakfast table when he came in. His father did not seem particularly surprised at the article, while his grandmother certainly did. In fact, she looked rather displeased with the idea, but he knew that was coming. The question was how to deal with it.

His father just waved him to sit down while his step-mother placed a bowl into his hand. She, at least, had guessed that to come this early he must had skipped his own meal. His father, on the other hand, pushed a stack of papers towards him. It certainly would not have stayed restricted to just one paper. It seemed that every single paper, gossip or not, had deemed the photos worthy of the front page. Yong Qi suppressed a sigh, placed his empty bowl down and flicked through the papers before looking up expectantly.

"Well?" his grandmother frowned at him.

"Well," he said slowly, "I have already told my secretary to prepare a confirmation statement for the news."

"Confirmation!" his grandmother exclaimed indignantly. "You are thinking of confirming this?"

"With respect, Grandmother, it's a bit hard to deny these," he said frankly, gesturing to the photos. "Nor would I wish to deny it. I think the press have enough to dig about us already lately without my having to lie about something and then have them find out and rip it apart. Besides, I will not attempt to hide or disguise my relationship with Xiao Yan."

"Relationship! And you would call this a relationship?" his grandmother asked. "It seems too much like a heat of the moment tryst to me, Yong Qi, one which you should have known better than to engage in, especially in the current media climate!"

He looked at his grandmother seriously and said, "Grandmother, I assure you that maybe the date was rather spontaneous, my feelings were far from just being subject to the heat of the moment. I am very serious about pursuing this relationship and I will not deny it to the press, whatever the _climate_ happen to be!"

"You have just known her. And I have heard that she had agreed to move in with Zi Wei, no doubt to take advantage of the situation!"

"Huang Er Niang," the Emperor finally spoke up, "I do not believe Xiao Yan is the type of girl to be so mercenary. In fact, her initial reluctance to move in with Zi Wei at all stemmed from the fact that she didn't want to take advantage of Zi Wei's situation."

"And yet now she had agreed," the Dowager Empress pointed out.

"Out of friendship with Zi Wei, yes," the Emperor said, "but I do not think the decision have anything to do with this. Nor should any mistake I made have to stop Yong Qi from having feelings for anyone."

Yong Qi looked gratefully at his father before addressing the Dowager Empress, "Grandmother, I assure you that I am far from being easily taken in by someone who only wished to be associated with me for their own gain. Xiao Yan is far from that. From the first time we met, she had never held neither my position nor my title to me, but treated me like a normal person, a friend. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that in her and it is one of the things I have come to love most about her."

His grandmother frowned at his description of feelings for her. "You can't be serious about this, Yong Qi!" she said.

"I am very serious about it!" he exclaimed. "Why should I not be? She is a perfectly nice girl, Grandmother!"

"We do not know her family, her connections. Who knows what kind of family she comes from?"

"What does that matter?" he asked. "Her family who may or may not have chosen to abandon her at birth did nothing to shape who she is today! I don't see what objections anyone could have against her except her lack of connections which means nothing to me! She would be there for me with or without my title and connections so how can I hold hers against her?"

"And what would happen if you pursue her? Where are you going with this?"

"I would marry her, Grandmother, if she would have me!"

There he said it. And apparently he had shocked all three of them - his father, his step-mother and his grandmother.

"You are that serious about her?" his father asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes," he said firmly and determinedly.

"You cannot be," his grandmother said dismissively, "you barely know her."

"I have not known her for long, yes," Yong Qi conceeded, "but I know her enough to know that she is different from all the girls that throw themselves at me. Grandmother, I know the seriousness of my marriage and I'm not going to joke around with it. Right now, I know that I want to marry her but that doesn't mean I would do it tomorrow! I still need to know her more, first."

"And what does she think about this?" the Empress asked slowly.

He shook his head, "It's hardly something I could discuss with her yet! It's too early; she certainly has no idea of my intentions in this area and I don't plan to tell her just yet. We are still to young; she is hardly used to the idea of _us_ yet, I cannot possibly push her - "

"So she doesn't feel the same about you?" his grandmother said. "Then I would wonder why you're seriously thinking about this!"

"So that I can convince her to feel the same," he said simply. "I know she likes me, and I want a chance to persuade her to feel more. If we both felt the same thing already, there would hardly be any point. Maybe after a while it will change, maybe not, but right now, right now that is how I feel. But I do not think it would change. It would only get stronger."

"She is a Han," his grandmother said, displeased.

"I thought the age of ethnic discrimination was over," he sighed.

"Yong Qi!" his father said disapprovingly and warningly of his tone.

"I apologise, but still, my point is that it doesn't matter. Not to me. I wish it would not matter to you, either. Anyway, I don't think whether I would marry her is relevant in this discussion. The only thing that is relevant now is how to respond to this article. After that I would like to go to Shu Fang Zhai to see Xiao Yan, because I hardly think she'd be thrilled with this either!"

"You wish to confirm this? In what capacity?" his father asked.

"That she is currently my girlfriend," he said simply.

"You are sure?" his grandmother asked him, looking reluctant still.

"Yes," he said firmly. "I know these photos might show that we were a bit reckless yesterday, but I don't regret it. I know what I'm doing. Please, just trust me."

"You must be very careful and consider all things before even thinking about offering her marriage," the Dowager Empress said, looking at him earnestly.

"Yes. I doubt either of us are in any position to consider marriage before we finish university, anyway," he said.

That seemed to assure his grandmother for now as she finally let him go after that. He rushed towards Shu Fang Zhai. Whatever he said to his grandmother about not being able to start on the subject of marriage to Xiao Yan just yet, he knew one of the discussions he had with her today would have to skirt on it at least, even if it was only to caution her against the gossips of the tabloids.

As soon as he arrived at Shu Fang Zhai, Zi Wei directed him to Xiao Yan's room. He knocked tentatively on the door. He entered the room a moment later to find her sitting cross legged on the bed with the newspaper spread out in front of her, a frown on her face.

"Hi," she said tentatively, looking up at him. He approached the bed and sat down next to her.

"Are you all right?"

"Hmm...yes. It wasn't a nice thing to wake up to, but..." She bit her lip and looked at him hesitantly. "What are you going to do?" she asked.

"Confirm it," he said firmly.

"Confirm it?"

"Yes." He reached over and took her hand, looking at her seriously. "Xiao Yan, I meant what I said yesterday. I'm not going to lie about us, or avoid the press about it. It would just make everything worst. They would speculate. I would rather they have some of the truth, even if somehow they'll end up twisting that truth around. But leave it to them to make things up, it will end up a disaster. And I don't want that for us. I want the two of us to start on an honest note, with ourselves, with the world. I'm not going to act like I'm ashamed of you, not when I can't wait to show you off to the whole world and let them know how much you mean to me."

"How would you confirm it?" she asked.

"I'm not going to make you go to a huge press conference or anything," he smiled. "It just involved a statement from my secretary. The uni has been quite good at shutting out reporters before though we might get requests for interviews. I don't think a direct interview will be necessary but if we do get approached by one, I'm not going to lie. The thing about lying to the press is that the truth always come out, then you get ripped apart. It's something that should be avoided at all cost, even if it sometimes means bending the truth."

"It's so weird," Xiao Yan sighed, looking down at the papers in front of her and fiddling with them. "I mean, why should anyone care about any of this? It's not as if it's going to affect them that much."

Yong Qi stroked her cheek, so that she looked up at him questioningly. "It's not going to go away, Xiao Yan. It's something that we will have to deal with. I promise I won't ever leave you to the mercy of the press alone, but it will be something you will have to accept if we're together."

"I know," she said. "I just - I just don't see why anyone would want to write and read about me. I'm just a random university student with absolutely nothing to my name."

"You have me," he said gently, his eyes soft with affection. She couldn't help but smile at it and impulsively wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled against his chest.

He rested his cheek against her hair and sighed. "I'm sorry, Xiao Yan."

"For what?"

"For this...you don't deserve to have complete strangers looking in on your life like this, especially on account of me."

"You don't deserve it either," she said, pulling slightly away to look at his face. She reached up and brushed his hair back from his forehead. "I'm not blaming you for it, Yong Qi. I just don't understand the fascination at all."

"It's more the hype they stir up than us, to be honest," he said. "Speaking of hype, I have to warn you this, though I really don't plan to start this subject with you this soon."

"What is it?"

"You have to understand that the press's imagination is very quick. They can work up stories, pair people up without so much as a photo evidence. But now that they manage to get this many of us, it won't matter to them that yesterday was our first date or our millionth date. By the beginning of next week, trust me they'll all be speculating when the wedding is."

"Oh," Xiao Yan said faintly. She couldn't think of anything else to say. She knew there was no way she was ready to even think about marriage yet, to anyone, not just to him. As much as she had enjoyed his company and his affection the day before, there was too much laden in that single word _marriage_ for her dream of, then. It suddenly hit her that it might not just be the press that would have expectations of marriage. What about Yong Qi himself? His father? His grandmother?

"Xiao Yan?" Yong Qi called gently.

"I - " Xiao Yan looked up at him, flustered.

Yong Qi took her hand and entwined his fingers in hers. "I know you're not ready to think about it yet. I don't want you to think about it yet. I never wanted to start this subject with you this early, but the press will not avoid it and I don't want you to be caught off guard. I will admit that I want the two of us to work, for us to eventually end up there. But I know right now it's too early to say or do anything. I am very sure that I'm in love with you now, but I know it will take a lot more than just love for a marriage to work, especially being who I am. You need to understand so much more about what such a life would entail. I'm not expecting you to make a definite decision about anything yet, Xiao Yan. I just want us to get to know each other, to spend time together, to just be as normal as possible. I promise that at least from me, you won't have any pressure to have to consider it yet."

"What about the Emperor and the Empress? The Dowager Empress?" she asked. "What do they think about all this?"

"Huang Ah Ma and and the Empress accepted the news pretty calmly, I think they even saw it coming a bit. My grandmother...well, it took a little convincing. I think you may find her a little...cold to you but...she doesn't really have a very valid reason to go against it. I've told them that both of us are much too young to think about it now. I don't think I'd be ready to seriously consider it until I finish university, at least. But I think my father and the Empress, at least, understand that we're not going to get married tomorrow, or even next year. I suppose my grandmother has more old fashioned notions about it, but she has, for now, accepted it. Still, I hope they would trust me enough to not to try to interfer with us. What I'm worried about is the press, which will try to marry us off, or alternatively break us apart. I just hope that you won't let it affect us."

"I don't regret anything that's happened, Yong Qi," she said, pressing her palm against his. "I enjoyed it far too much, when it was just us. But I have to admit, just this one article unnerved me this morning and I'll have a hard time dealing with more. I'll try to...ignore it, though it's kind of hard to. But I know it's not your fault, it's not as if you want it."

"Thank you," he said, pulling her closer, and leaned down to kiss her cheek. She looked up at him with an expression of wonder, causing him to raise an eyebrow. "What?"

"Just that, other girls would be thanking you to look twice at them," she said.

"Well, you are not like other girls," he said, stroking her hair. "And I can't believe I'm lucky enough to have met you. Come to think of it, through you, Zi Wei was able to reunite with Huang Ah Ma. It would seem you are our blessing."

"I don't feel like it," she said sincerely. "I didn't become Zi Wei's friend or yours for any reason other than you yourself."

"I know, and that's the most wonderful thing about you," he smiled tenderly at her. "We'll work this out together, all right?"

She smiled and nodded, bringing her fingers up to curl around his raven locks as he leaned down and kissed her.

0o0o0o0o

The first time they went out together in public after that article was the next day, when Xiao Yan needed to return some books to the library and Yong Qi insisted on taking her, with intention that they could go somewhere and enjoy the start of the holidays together. The moment they got out of the car together, Xiao Yan could feel the glances of the students milling around the campus. Yong Qi didn't seem at all fazed from the unwanted attention, and just took her hand firmly. Xiao Yan tried to ignore it, but she had never had to endure such scrutiny in her life before and it was making her very uncomfortable. She felt like she was walking with a neon flashing sign on top of her head.

"They're staring at us," she murmured as they made their way through the campus.

"Let them stare," Yong Qi shrugged.

"Doesn't it bother you?" she frowned.

"I'm used to it," he said frankly. "What bothers me is that you're looking at them and not at me."

"What?" she turned abruptly and looked at him enquiringly. "Why?"

He smiled hopefully at her, "You're the only one I see when I'm with you. I kind of hoped that it was the same for you."

Xiao Yan couldn't help but blush. She couldn't help but admit that whenever he said these unbearable sweet things meant for her alone, it made a wonderful warm feeling sweep over her, and she couldn't help grinning giddily. It made her bolder, too, for she reached up on tip toes and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He pulled her in by the waist and deepened the kiss for just a moment, before pulling away with a smile. "Are they still staring?"

"I don't know," she sighed happily. "I don't care. I'm not looking anymore."

"Good," he grinned.


	7. Consequences

_I wanted to have Qing Er in this fic but I didn't want to write Zi Wei/Er Kang intensively and it's kind of hard to have Qing Er appear without going in too deep about Zi Wei and Er Kang. So...well, you'll see what I changed in this chapter. (Honestly I've tried writing Zi Wei /Er Kang. I just can't. So I'll just imply at them whenever the opportunity comes up)._

_And I wrote this entire chapter before remembering the FFN hates links and email addresses of all kind in stories...so it looks a bit messy...It looks a lot better on my computer. Haizz._

* * *

**Consequences**

**_or what happens when a prince kisses a girl in a very public place_**

* * *

**From:** Fu Er Tai (fuertai at gmail. com)

**To: **Xia Xiao Yan (swallowpad at gmail. com)

**Cc: **Yong Qi - Palace (yongqi at axjlprivate. imppalace. cn)

**Subject: **FYI

Xiao Yan, you might want to take a look at this. Trust me, it might help prevent you being taken by surprise by stuff that will definitely be mentioned in the newspapers and on TV.

www. en. wikipedia. org [slash] wiki [slash] Yang_Qing

Yong Qi, that doesn't get you out of telling Xiao Yan about it though.

Fu Er Tai

* * *

**From: **noreply at axjlprivate. imppalace. cn

**To: **fuertai at gmail. com

**Subject: **Confirmation to transmit your message to an email address on the Imperial Family Private Email domain

_This email concerns a message you sent at 1:09:45 on 24 January 2005 to an email address on the Imperial Family Private Email domain._

_You are about to send an email to the official personal address of one or more member(s) of the Imperial Family of China. All correspondence being sent to personal email addresses will only be successfully transmitted when the sender's email address has been approved by the Imperial Personage(s); that is, your email address should be added to the Imperial Personage's address book. If your email address has not been approved by your intended addressee(s), please request an approval before sending the message. _

_All correspondence being sent to imperial official personal email address(es) should concern private or personal matters only. If your message pertains to an official state, government or business matter, please redirect the message to the Imperial Personage's official state email address. If you do not know the official state email address in question, please contact either the Imperial Personage's Personal Secretary if you know their contact details, or the Imperial Palace Communications Office at enquiry . comm . imppalace . cn, stating your business or reasons for contacting the Imperial Personage. Your request will be reviewed at the earliest convenience and passed on to the Imperial Personage concerned if approved._

_Any messages intending to threaten, coerce, defame or otherwise containing the purpose of harming the addressed Imperial Personage(s) or any other members of the Imperial Family, or Government Officials, is subject to enquiry and possible prosecution. Perpetrators may be convicted of crimes against the crown and sentenced to up to 20 (twenty) years in prison. _

_Please click here for confirmation that you wish to proceed with the transmission of the message. If you do not wish to proceed, please disregard this email and your message will be deleted after 24 (twenty-four) hours._

_This is an automatically transmitted message. You are not required to reply to this email._

_Imperial Palace Communications Office  
Room 603-608, Floor 6  
Palace Residences Administrations  
Imperial Tower  
Beijing - China_

* * *

**From: **HIH The Prince Yong Qi (yongqi at axjlprivate. imppalace. cn)

**To: **Fu Er Tai (fuertai at gmail. com)

**Subject: **Re: FYI

How exactly is letting her know through wikipedia different from letting her find out from the newspaper?

And why on earth did you send it to this email? Wouldn't my gmail, or even my uni mail be less hassle?

Yong Qi

_This email was distributed from the official personal address of a member of the Imperial Family of China. The information in this email and any file attachment transmitted with it is confidential and may be legally privileged. It is intended solely for the addressee. Access to this email by anyone else is unauthorised. If you are not the intended recipient, any disclosure, copying, distribution or any action taken concerning the message, other than returning it to the sender, is prohibited and may be unlawful. If you received this email by mistake, please advise the sender immediately._

* * *

**From: **Fu Er Tai (fuertai at gmail. com)

**To: **Yong Qi (ayq.17284 at gmail. com)

**Subject: **Wiki and other things

It saves Xiao Yan the awkwardness of asking when she hears it from the paper or TV. Now you get to volunteer to give her your side of things :P Come on, you know you're going to have to tell her about it sooner or later anyway. The media will be making comparisons between the two of them until the whole hype dies down. If it ever dies down.

Besides, I know for a fact Qing Er actually monitors her page and edits it with correct information so, for a wiki page, it's as trustworthy as Xiao Yan would get it.

I meant to send it to your gmail, but then I accidentally selected your palace one instead. Oh and have you ever noticed that in the confirmation email, it tells you that your email might land you 20 years in prison before asking you to confirm whether to send the message? Kind of hilarious if you think about it.

Fu Er Tai

* * *

**Yang Qing **

**(From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)**

This is a Chinese name. The family name is Yang.

Born: 27 March 1984 (age 20)

Family: Yang Fang (grandfather)  
Xu He Nan (grandmother)  
Yang Yu (father)  
Liu Wei Ning (mother)

**Yang Qing **(born 27 March 1984) is the former girlfriend of the Fifth Prince Yong Qi of China. She is known as Qing Er to close family and friends. She and Prince Yong Qi had long been subjects of media attention as a couple even before they publicly confirmed their relationship and there were constant speculations that they would marry. However, they made the mutual decision to end their relationship in 2002.

**Early Life**

Yang Qing was born on 27 March 1984 at the Imperial Hospital in Beijing, and is the only child of Yang Yu and Liu Wei Ning, who married in 1982. Yang Yu is the son of Yang Fang, multi-millionaire founder and owner of Xi Yang Corporation, a multi-business international corporation now with offices in over 20 countries. Yang Qing's paternal grandmother, Yang Fang's wife and Yang Yu's mother, is Xu He Nan, a long-time close friend of the Empress Dowager. Liu Wei Ning comes from a family of teachers, also natives of Beijing.

Due to her paternal grandmother's close ties with the Empress Dowager, the Yang family have been known to the Imperial family since Yang Fang and Xu He Nan's marriage in 1953. The Yang family are often included in the guest list for many high-profile imperial functions and events.

**Relationship with Prince Yong Qi**

From 1998 to 2002, Yang Qing attended Bao Huang Private High School, a prestigious private school famous for being the educator of almost all born-members of the imperial family to date since the school's founding in 1910. The only exception is Princess Zi Wei, the most recent addition to the Imperial Family and who was not raised in Beijing. The private school is also the favourite of many Beijing affluent families and those of the aristocracy.

Though Yang Qing had known Prince Yong Qi for most of her life, it was at Bao Huang that their friendship developed. As early as 1999, when both Yang Qing and Prince Yong Qi was 15, there was much speculations from both their mutual friends and the media that the two may be involved in a romantic relationship. It was not until June 2000 that the Imperial Palace Press Representative Department (IPPRD) confirmed the relationship between them. However, as both were underaged at the time, they were fiercely protected from the public eyes and did not make any public appearances together.

Upon the Prince Yong Qi's 18th birthday in February 2002, speculations rose again of an engagement. Xinhua Press reported that the idea of an engagement was supported by both the Yang family and the Dowager Empress. However, Jing Yang Gong, which became Prince Yong Qi's residence upon his coming-of-age, continually played down the possibility of an engagement, stating that the Prince himself thought that both he and Yang Qing were "too young" for marriage. The question of their future became even more eminent in June of that year, when the media reported that Yang Qing had been offered a place at Oxford University in England, and had indeed accepted the offer.

During this time, Yang Qing received wide media coverage and was often followed by photographers, until both the IPPRD and the Yang family lawyer threatened legal actions. Though paparazzi attention seemed to decrease following these warnings, media and public curiosity by no mean subsided. By the time Yang Qing departed for England for university in late August 2002, no official word was issued from either Jing Yang Gong or the IPPRD regarding the future of the relationship. It was not until 24 December 2002 that Sina released an exclusive announcement that Prince Yong Qi and Yang Qing had split up. The story was confirmed by other media bodies during the rest of that week.

Jing Yang Gong only made a brief statement regarding this, stating that "it was a mutual, amicable decision and [Jing Yang Gong] have no futher comment." During this time, Prince Yong Qi was undertaking a gap year and working with various charities affiliated with the Empress Xiao Xian Charity Foundation and refused to talk about his relationship with Yang Qing. In April 2003, Yang Qing returned briefly to China for the Easter holidays and it was rumoured that she spent some time with the Imperial family. However, during this time, when asked about the reason for their split, both the Prince and Yang Qing simply indicated that "the romance had run its course" and they were "just friends".

Rumours of the pair reuniting continued to crop up periodically, however, for the next two years, until January 2005, when Jing Yang Gong confirmed Prince Yong Qi's relationship with Xia Xiao Yan.

* * *

**From:** Xia Xiao Yan (swallowpad at gmail. com)

**To: **Fu Er Tai (fuertai at gmail. com)

**Subject: **Re: FYI

Haha. But really, I'm not sure I want to find out about this from the internet. I mean, it's like I might as well check out the wiki page on Yong Qi while I'm at it? But I guess you think this is reliable or you wouldn't send it. You could have just told me to ask Yong Qi.

Xia Xiao Yan

* * *

**From: **Fu Er Tai (fuertai at yongle. edu. cn)

**To: **Xia Xiao Yan (swallowpad at gmail. com)

**Subject: **Wiki and all

It would take longer for Yong Qi to tell all this than for you to read it. It's reliable, don't worry. Anyway, take it as sort of the basic. You can get the rest of the details from Yong Qi if you really want to know. Then again, you can just get Qing Er's email from him and get it from her. I have a feeling as soon as she hears she'd be interrogating Yong Qi about you.

Sorry for sending this from uni mail btw, I got your email this morning but didn't get to answer till now and now I'm just logged in here and can't be bothered to open up gmail.

Fu Er Tai  
_Bachelor of Science - International Political Science_  
_Faculty of Social Sciences_  
_Yong Le University - Beijing_

* * *

"Hello. You're watching _Life's Good_, a weekly cultural and entertainment news program, broadcast every Sunday at 2pm on CCTV12. I am Gao Yu."

"And I am Liu An Qi. Well, Gao Yu, it would seem that the gossip subject on everyone's tongue this week is the news of the Fifth Prince's latest romantic relationship."

"So, if you've been glancing at the latest papers and magazines at all these past couple of days, you can't have missed all the hooplah about the Fifth Prince Yong Qi's kiss - or kisses - with one Xia Xiao Yan, a close friend of the new princess, Zi Wei. And it looks like things are pretty hot between them, I mean, will you just _look_ at these photos."

"They were also apparently spotted together by Yong Le University students on Friday hand in hand on campus. In fact, a student blogger on the university's official networking site reports that Miss Xiao Yan even initiated a kiss between the couple in very public view. This report sent the number of hits to this blog spiralling up."

"And you know what, the Fifth Prince had always been known for discretion. I mean, ever since he and Qing Er broke it off, the reporters have been trying in vain and still not managed to catch him with another girl, and it had been three years since! But this - well I must say either he's lost his head or he's trying to make a statement! Even with Qing Er we never managed to get anything this candid!"

"Gao Yu, what's your personal opinion on this situation?"

"Well, you have to admit that despite all the attention Princess Zi Wei had been getting lately, her friend stayed pretty much out of the limelight, despite apparently having a hand introducing the Princess to the Imperial Family. Some would say this development with the Fifth Prince is a bid for attention. Well, to that, I say we should just let time show itself, see if she runs away from the attention, or towards it. I do find it interesting that as secretive as the Fifth Prince usually is about romances, he chose to make this one so completely public and so early. As far as I know, no action had been taken from the Palace to reclaim the photos taken of the Prince and Miss Xia."

"Well, I'd say from the statement issued by Jing Yang Gong, he's definitely not trying to hide this relationship. Though I suspect with these photos it's kind of hard to hide anything now. But this is only the second romance the palace had ever confirmed the Prince being involved in. The first, of course, was when he was back in high school, with Yang Qing. They were together for quite a while, through his last two years of high school but they were already subject of much speculation even before that."

"Yes, and I remembered there were much speculations of a wedding back then too, and it was apparent that everyone approved of that match, the Dowager Empress especially. All everyone was waiting for was a proposal, but they disappointed everyone by breaking up, quite abruptly too."

"Well, she was going off to England for university. They never really said that was the reason, but I think that's pretty likely. The Fifth Prince never elaborates much about it, but he never really does about these subjects and Qing Er had only ever said that they parted on good terms. You must have remembered last summer when she was back from Oxford, there were those photos of them together and all those rumours of them getting back together - "

"Those crop up every holiday it seemed."

"Yes, true and they get shot down by Jing Yang Gong pretty quickly."

"Well, the Prince seems happy enough now, with Xia Xiao Yan. And it doesn't seem like he is into flings, so I have a feeling things must be pretty serious for Jing Yang Gong to issue a statement confirming their relationship. No word is available yet regarding how the Emperor or the Dowager Empress view this match, but certainly this is one couple to keep your eyes and ears out for!"

* * *

**PALACE CONFIRMS ROMANCE BETWEEN FIFTH PRINCE AND XIA XIAO YAN**

SINA - 25/1/2005

**Following the release of photos of the Fifth Prince Yong Qi and Xia Xiao Yan locked in kisses in the parking lot of Joy Luck Restaurant near the Summer Palace, the Prince's residence, Jing Yang Gong, had issued a statement confirming a romantic relationship between the two.**

Imperial watchers were set on fire last Friday when several newspapers pubished a set of photos, taken Thursday afternoon, of the Fifth Prince Yong Qi and Xia Xiao Yan together near the Summer Palace. The photos showed the couple arriving at Joy Luck Restaurant in the Prince's car, seemingly without the usual security service entourage. The two reportedly emerged from the car hand in hand and spent time in a private dining room in the Joy Luck Restaurant, before returning to the parking lot, where they engaged in a series of kisses, all caught on film by hidden photographers. These photos began flooding the internet, starting at Baidu, at midnight and by the following morning, had graced the front pages of many newspapers.

A call was made to the Prince's residence, Jing Yang Gong, on Friday morning, but the Prince's private secretary, Guo Ying, declined immediate comment.

Xia Xiao Yan, 19, currently a first year student at the Faculty of Social Sciences at Yong Le University, pursuing a degree in History and English, and Princess Huan Zhu, are the recipients of the only two Yong Le full scholarships for the class of 2004-2008. Princess Huan Zhu has reportedly also referred to Xia Xiao Yan as her "best friend and best source of comfort, as close as a sister". It was Xia Xiao Yan who introduced the Princess to the Fifth Prince in the first place, through whom the lost Princess was reunited with her family. Xia Xiao Yan currently lives at Shu Fang Zhai with the Princess, which puts her in constant close proximity to the Fifth Prince and the rest of the Imperial family.

After the publications of the photos, no action had been taken from the Palace to stop continued access to them, or to claim any unpublished photos, as was feared. On Monday morning, Jing Yang Gong issued a short statement confirming a romantic relationship between the Fifth Prince and Xia Xiao Yan. It is not clear how long the couple have been together and the full extent of the relationship, but the Prince's secretary, Guo Ying, requests the "respect for the privacy of both the Fifth Prince and Miss Xia", stating that it is still "too early" to say for the expectations from such a match of either Xia Xiao Yan or the Palace. "We hope that the public as well as the press give the Prince and Miss Xia their well-deserved space and freedom," Guo Ying said during a brief telephone conversation with Sina. "This is, as of yet, still a very private matter."

No comment is yet made from any representative of the senior members of the Imperial family regarding this developing relationship. However, reporters did manage to approach the First Princess, and the First Prince when they attended the opening ceremony of the Qing Le Convention Centre yesterday. Both expressed delight in the development between their brother and Xia Xiao Yan, and approval of the Fifth Prince's choice. "Yong Qi is very happy with Xiao Yan," the First Princess said, smiling.

The Fifth Prince had only been known to have one serious relationship before this, with Yang Qing, granddaughter of the tycoon Yang Fang and Xu He Nan, a close chidlhood friend of the Dowager Empress. The Fifth Prince and Yang Qing ended their relationship, which spanned their last two years of high school, three years ago, when Yang Qing was preparing to go to England to read Philosophy, Politics and Economics at Oxford University. The two have since then been seen together whenever Yang Qing returns to China for holidays, but despite repeated rumours of getting back together, both insist they now remain close friends.

* * *

Yong Qi had just barely logged on later evening when he was ambushed by his ex-girlfriend on instant messenger.

_Yong Qi has signed in_

**Qing Er: **Yong Qi!

**Yong Qi: **Hi Qing Er

**Qing Er: **What's this I hear about you having a new girlfriend? ;;)

**Yong Qi: **You don't beat around the bush, do you?

**Yong Qi: **Btw where did you hear that? :-?

**Qing Er: **Sweetheart, just do a baidu search :-j

**Qing Er: **there's some pretty interesting results :))

**Yong Qi: **I can imagine :")

**Qing Er: **and it seems that everyone in high school felt it their duty to let me know that you have officially moved on from me

**Qing Er: **Their words, not mine :))

**Yong Qi: :**))

**Qing Er: **though tbh I'm not too happy with you :-w

**Yong Qi: **Why?

**Qing Er: **Hello? You let me find out about this from the internet of all places? [-(

**Yong Qi: **Well, it's only been a couple of days :-"

**Yong Qi: **it's not as if I send out engraved announcements to everyone else and forgot you :-"

**Yong Qi: **I couldn't catch you online till now

**Yong Qi: **How was I supposed to tell you?

**Qing Er:** [-X

**Qing Er: **ever heard of a telephone?

**Yong Qi: **I don't think it's very good graces to call your ex gf to brag about the current one ;))

**Qing Er: **How about calling your bff? :))

**Yong Qi: **All right all right, so it slipped my mind

**Yong Qi: **have been a little preoccupied, if you haven't already figured it out :")

**Qing Er: **Of course ;))

**Qing Er: **So are you going to tell me about her?

**Qing Er: **or do I have to do a wikipedia search or something now? :-"

**Yong Qi: **I'm not sure she has a wiki page

**Qing Er: **Want to bet?

**Yong Qi: **No

**Yong Qi: **But you certainly do have a wiki page

**Qing Er: **Of course I do :smug:

**Qing Er: **All the perks of being your ex :))

**Yong Qi: **You might want to know that Er Tai practically told Xiao Yan to go find out about you from your wiki page

**Yong Qi: **which apparently you edit

**Qing Er: **Well, I have to keep an eye on it don't I?

**Qing Er: **Can't have random people say whatever they want about me

**Qing Er: **So Xiao Yan found out about me from wikipedia?

**Yong Qi: **Yeah, about sums that up.

**Qing Er: **=))

**Qing Er: **So now you definitely have to tell me about her

**Qing Er: **I can't have her know everything about me and me knowing nothing about her

**Yong Qi: **Oh yes, because wiki is everything about you

**Qing Er: **You know what I mean

**Yong Qi: **What do you want to know? :-?

**Qing Er: **Who is she? The internet said she's Zi Wei's friend

**Yong Qi: **Yeah, she and Zi Wei lived together before,

**Yong Qi: **Actually, still do

**Yong Qi: **Huang Ah Ma had her move in with Zi Wei

**Yong Qi: **for both their sakes

**Yong Qi: **to help Zi Wei adjust to the palace and everything

**Qing Er: **and to hide her from the razzi and press?

**Yong Qi: **Something like that

**Qing Er: **She's at Yong Le too?

**Yong Qi: **What else did the internet say? :-?

**Qing Er: **the internet was just full of photos, tbh

**Qing Er: **and ZOMG Yong Qi! :O

**Qing Er: **those photos! :| :O

**Yong Qi: **...

**Yong Qi: **Yeah...

**Qing Er: **I confess to feeling a *little* jealous, Yong Qi =((

**Qing Er:** :p =))

**Yong Qi: **Oh? ;;)

**Qing Er: **You never let anyone have the chance to take those photos of us =((

**Yong Qi: **If I ever knew you wanted to have those kind of photos of us splattered across the front pages I'd have let you have it ;;)

**Yong Qi: **but who was the one who freaked out just because the school paper wrote an article on us? ;;)

**Qing Er: **Haha, point taken :))

**Qing Er: **Seriously, though, what were you *thinking*?

**Yong Qi: **Isn't kind of obvious I wasn't thinking? :")

**Yong Qi: **But seriously she has that effect on me! ;;)

**Yong Qi: **I swear no one has ever made me feel like this :")

**Yong Qi: **I don't even really mind that they got all those photos

**Yong Qi: **I mean, sooner or later it would come out

**Yong Qi: **This way we didn't have to do the annoucing

**Yong Qi: **Actually, I'm kind of surprised they didn't try to make it into any kind of scandal

**Yong Qi: **Besides I have other things to think about than worry about the press! :")

**Qing Er: **You like her that much?

**Yong Qi: **You know if it wasn't you saying that I'd think you _were_ still pining for me and sound a little disappointed :-"

**Qing Er: **Dream on! :-j

**Yong Qi: **Hah!

**Qing Er: **But really, how serious are you?

**Yong Qi: **Enough to kiss her in the middle of a parking lot and don't mind having the photos taken

**Yong Qi: **She's just... ;;)

**Yong Qi: **Ok, you really don't want me to start gushing about Xiao Yan

**Qing Er: **Gush? =))

**Qing Er: **I really can't imagine you *gushing*

**Yong Qi: **I can and have just been doing so

**Yong Qi: **Do you really want me to do more?

**Yong Qi: **You might regret it :))

**Qing Er: **Go on :))

**Qing Er: **I've never heard you gush about a girl before ;;)

**Qing Er: **and that includes me ;))

**Yong Qi: :**))

**Yong Qi: **But she's just amazing

**Yong Qi: **I don't think any girl had ever made me feel so at home as she does :x

**Yong Qi: **Like I can just really be myself

**Yong Qi: **And she treats me normally

**Yong Qi: **I don't think I've ever felt like a completely normal person like this

**Yong Qi: **And she doesn't weigh every word she says to me

**Yong Qi: **I've never felt so safe around anyone

**Yong Qi: **I swear

**Yong Qi: **I'm so crazy about this girl it's scary sometimes

**Yong Qi: **you know when you're on a roller coaster and you are about to go on that plunge and you know it's going to be terrifying but so so so good?

**Yong Qi: **She makes me feel like that :")

**Qing Er: **I'll take your word, I've never been on a roller coaster, remember?

**Yong Qi: **It's scary as hell but she makes me feel so wonderful that it's all worth it

**Yong Qi: **It's like I put my heart in her hand and know that she can break it to pieces

**Yong Qi: **But she won't

**Yong Qi: **She's amazing

**Yong Qi: **I've already said that!

**Yong Qi: **I can't wait for you to meet her

**Yong Qi: **She has the most amazing eyes ever

**Yong Qi: **and lips =P~

**Qing Er: **Ok, we're moving into TMI! :| X_X

**Qing Er: **Not something I want to know, thank you!

**Yong Qi: **sorry =))

**Yong Qi: **told you

**Qing Er: **=))

**Qing Er: **You really are in love :")

**Yong Qi: **I am!

**Yong Qi: **Qing Er...I've really never felt like this before

**Yong Qi: **I feel like I'm insane telling you this

**Yong Qi: **But I really really really really

**Qing Er: **Really what?

**Yong Qi: **I don't know =))

**Yong Qi: **I don't know what I'm saying anymore =))

**Yong Qi: **But I'm sitting here grinning like a fool

**Qing Er: **Congrats :hug:

**Yong Qi: **For being a fool?

**Qing Er: **For being a fool in love :))

**Yong Qi: **She's online

**Qing Er: **Does that mean you're ditching me?

**Yong Qi: **No :))

**Yong Qi: **Do you want to add her? ;;)

**Qing Er: **And say what, Hi, I'm Yong Qi's ex? ^:)^

**Yong Qi: **Well it's not as if she doesn't know

**Qing Er: **Yeah but still...

**Qing Er: **Why on earth did Er Tai tell her anyway?

**Yong Qi: **The media would even if Er Tai didn't, honestly

**Yong Qi: **I would have told her anyway

**Qing Er: **I guess

**Qing Er: **How did she take it?

**Yong Qi: **She wasn't that fussed, but I guess that's because she knows with me, if there's anything going on, the press will probably get on it faster than I can blink

**Qing Er: **Haha, true, that

**Yong Qi: **Or maybe she's just not fussed because you're not here

**Qing Er: **Should I go tell her that I'm ok with it?

**Yong Qi: **If you want

**Yong Qi: **anyway I think you'd like her

**Qing Er: **What's her email then?

**Yong Qi: **For IM swallowpad at yahoo, but for email, it's gmail. Same ID

**Qing Er: **Maybe I'll just email her later... :-?

**Yong Qi: **:-j Just go talk to her. I'll tell her that you're going to add her

**Qing Er: **What if she doesn't want to accept but doesn't want to say that to you and accept me just because you told her to?

**Yong Qi: **Xiao Yan's the kind of girl that if she had a problem with me pushing my ex at her she'd tell me to shod off

**Qing Er: **Really? =))

**Yong Qi: **Really, so just add her and she'll probably accept.

* * *

**Yong Qi: **;))

**Xiao Yan: **;;)

**Yong Qi: **I just gave your email to Qing Er :")

**Yong Qi: **do you mind? ;;)

**Xiao Yan: **Wouldn't it be better to ask before you give it out? :))

**Xiao Yan: **You're lucky that I don't

**Xiao Yan: **Otherwise you'd be in big trouble :-w

**Yong Qi: **I know :")

**Xiao Yan: **So have you been talking to her? ;;)

**Yong Qi: **Yeah

**Xiao Yan: **What about?

**Yong Qi: **You ;;)

**Yong Qi: **Actually I did most of the talking about you and she just asked questions

**Xiao Yan: **She's that interested in me? :-?

**Yong Qi: **Are you kidding?

**Yong Qi: **Of course

**Yong Qi: **Are you talking to her now?

**Xiao Yan: **Yeah

**Yong Qi: **Impression?

**Xiao Yan: **She seems nice

**Xiao Yan: **And she doesn't seem like she wants to kill me :p

**Yong Qi: **:))

**Yong Qi: **Why would she want to kill you?

**Xiao Yan: **Oh you know...

**Yong Qi: **Both Qing Er and I are over each other Xiao Yan

**Yong Qi: **that's why she wanted to talk to you in the first place

**Yong Qi: **to tell you she's ok with us

**Xiao Yan: **Really? I'm under the impression you offered to give her my email

**Yong Qi: **Well I do want you to get to know her too

**Yong Qi: **I really think you'd like her

**Yong Qi: **Should I leave you to it?

**Xiao Yan: **Hmmm yeah

**Xiao Yan: **Or just come over ;;)

**Yong Qi: **Now?

**Xiao Yan: **Now, later, whenever

**Yong Qi: **I'll come over in a bit

**Yong Qi: **:x :* :hug: see you later

**Xiao Yan: **see you :hug: :x :*


	8. Storm

_This fic is rated T for a reason. Let me emphasise that - **this chapter is rated T! **There are just some things that would never be mentioned in an ancient-setting that would definitely be present in a 21st century romance. _

* * *

**Storm**

The second semester had started soon after the Spring Festival was over. That February day found Xiao Yan meeting Yong Qi and Er Tai after class, and Yong Qi was looking very annoyed.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she slipped into the car. Er Tai, in the back seat, seemed to be holding back a chuckle and Yong Qi was glaring at him through the rearview mirror.

"It's all your fault, you know. You came in late and I got stuck with _her_," he said huffily.

"I'm sorry," Er Tai couldn't hold back a laugh. "It's not my fault Professor Zheng held me back."

Yong Qi just scowled as he started the car.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Xiao Yan asked, frowning in confusion. Yong Qi just remained stubbornly in a bad mood and quiet.

Er Tai quietly told her, however. "Our International Political Economy class has a project that has to be done in pairs. We planned to do it together but let's just say Yong Qi got snapped up by this girl, Zhang Fan Ding. She's rather...er...enthusiastic about him."

Yong Qi just glared at his friend again.

"I'm sorry, I just don't see why you couldn't have just told her that you already have a partner," Er Tai said in amusement.

"I did, but did you ever try to convince that girl of anything? I'm going to have a miserable time with this assignment. And I'm glad you find it funny," he said sarcastically.

"It can't be that bad," Xiao Yan said.

"Yes it can," Yong Qi frowned.

As Yong Qi focused back on the road again, Er Tai just caught Xiao Yan's eyes and shook his head, indicating that it wasn't useful to try and talk to Yong Qi when he was in such a bad mood. Xiao Yan just held back a sigh and let it go, hoping that she'd be able to improve his mood later. She didn't know Zhang Fan Ding, so couldn't really understand how the normallly courteous Yong Qi could sound so flippant about a girl, especially when it seemed to just amuse Er Tai.

Over the next few weeks, however, it seemed that Yong Qi was more distant than before. At first, Xiao Yan attributed it to just being busy with university work and assignments. The second semester came in with the force of a hurricane for her, too. It seemed that the workload seemed twice that of the first. It was not until she accidentally overhead a conversation in the library that Xiao Yan thought about any other reason for his sudden coolness.

She was browsing a stack of books when the words "Fifth Prince" drifted towards her from the otherside of the books.

"Well, so I'm sure I'll have the Fifth Prince all wrapped around my fingers soon," a breathy female voice said.

"He's got a girlfriend, Fan Ding," another female voice said.

Fan Ding? Could this be Zhang Fan Ding? Xiao Yan didn't know what made her linger to listen; she should not listen, but curiosity got the better of her.

"Oh her," Fan Ding said dismissively, "that little chit? I'm sure she's just an amusement for him. I mean, have you seen her? Who is she, anyway? He never talks about her anyway, he can't be that interested in her."

"Oh _please_, have you seen them together?" her friend protested. "And how about those photos in the paper? It's obvious that he's pretty hung up about her."

"Probably because she's willing enough to open her legs," Fan Ding snorted. Xiao Yan bit back an indignant cry and gritted her teeth. _Who was this girl and how dared she make such an assumption_? "That's probably why he's still with her, anyway, he feels responsible. He's too noble like that. I'll just have to show him that I'm much better," Fan Ding giggled.

Fan Ding and her friend drifted away at that moment, so Xiao Yan couldn't hear anymore. She didn't put much significance on Fan Ding's brag that she would be able to seduce Yong Qi but what she did manage to hear was enough make her enraged. If Fan Ding at least thought that, what else were people assuming about her and Yong Qi? And where on earth were such rumours coming from?

She forced hersef to push the unpleasant thoughts out of her mind, not even sure why she was so upset about it. She knew that rumours surrounded Yong Qi and she knew they were rubbish. Yet still, the taint on her reputation was cutting. How many people thought that of her? The idea irritated her to the point that she couldn't help but keep her own distance with Yong Qi in the next few days.

A week later, however, she went into the library after classes as usual to look for Yong Qi, as they usually met there to go back to the palace together. She found him in the study room he usually occupied, but unlike being accompanied by Er Tai as usual, there was a girl in there with him. She stood a distance away and could see them in the room through the glass walls, though they had their backs to her. The girl had her head turned slightly towards Xiao Yan but she was in no way paying attention to Xiao Yan.

Instincts told Xiao Yan that this must be Zhang Fan Ding, and her heart sank at the sight of the other girl. There was no doubt that Fan Ding was a very attractive girl, with perfect complexion and perfect make up and expensive designer clothes. Her hair was straightened fashionably and dyed a chestnut brown. She was sitting very close to Yong Qi and their heads were bent together. It didn't seem that they were focusing on the books and laptop in front of them. An overwhelming sense of fear suddenly clouded Xiao Yan's senses, and she trembled at the sight. Fan Ding seemed to be looking very intimately at Yong Qi, batting her eye lashes and shifting even closer to him. She could not hear what they said, but Yong Qi didn't seem to be moving away. The closeness between them made Xiao Yan feel almost ill. When Fan Ding reached out to take Yong Qi's hand and brushed her fingers lightly over it that Xiao Yan couldn't take it anymore, she whirled around and ran out of the library. Yet the sight didn't leave her; it was firmly entrenched in her mind. She was further blinded by the tears that were suddenly spilling from her lashes. She had no idea why such a sight should affect her so. Why did she have to cry over him? Was she really that weak? Xiao Yan angrily brushed the tears away and rushed to the bus stop and made her own way back to Shu Fang Zhai.

She was still on the bus when her phone rang. She saw that it was Yong Qi and angrily declined the call. Just minutes later, he called again, and she declined again. This went on three more times before she lost her patience and just turned the phone off altogether. It was raining lightly as she got off the bus but she didn't really care. The rain was light, but by the time she got back to Shu Fang Zhai, she was pretty wet through.

"Where have you _been_? I've been trying to call you but your phone was off. Yong Qi tried to call you but you didn't pick up!" Zi Wei exclaimed worriedly as soon as she stepped into the house. "I thought you were going home with him."

"I changed my mind," she said shortly and snappily and just made her way into her room. Zi Wei froze at her tone and stared at her for a moment, before running to catch up.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," Xiao Yan choked. She just wanted Zi Wei to go away, to not talk to her, to not ask about her, because she knew she would never be able to keep up an act around Zi Wei. She would surely break down if Zi Wei kept this up much longer.

"You're upset," Zi Wei observed. "What happened? Xiao Yan?"

"Nothing, all right? I just want to be alone," Xiao Yan cried, running to her room and slamming the door behind her.

~*~

Zi Wei stared at the closed door in bewilderment. She had never seen Xiao Yan in such a state before, and it was quite baffling. Suddenly, her phone rang again and, predictably, it was Yong Qi. He'd been calling her to see if Xiao Yan was home for the last half hour when she declined his calls.

"She's home," Zi Wei said right away as soon as she answered. She could hear Yong Qi give an audible sigh of relief. "She's here, but she's really upset about something. I don't know what happened."

"I'm on my way," Yong Qi said.

Fifteen minutes later, Yong Qi rushed in. "What happened?" he asked.

"I have no idea," Zi Wei shook her head. "She seemed really upset when she came in and she locked herself in her room. She wouldn't talk to me. She seemed upset when I mentioned she was supposed to go home with you, for some reason."

"She didn't answer any of my calls," he frowned. "But I don't know what could possibly upset her."

Together they walked to Xiao Yan's door and Yong Qi knocked. "Xiao Yan, it's Yong Qi, talk to me?"

"Go away," was Xiao Yan's hoarse reply. She sounded like she'd been crying, which worried and bewildered both Yong Qi and Zi Wei even more.

"Xiao Yan, what's wrong? Please, just let me in," Yong Qi pressed on patiently.

"I don't want to talk to you, just go away," Xiao Yan cried.

This went on for ten more minutes before Zi Wei pulled a now visibly irritated and upset Yong Qi away.

"Let me try later," she said soothingly to her brother. "I don't think she'll let you in when she's like this. Just go home. I'll try to get through to her."

"I have no idea why she's upset! And she seems upset with me, but I don't know why!" he cried frustratedly.

"Did you - did you do anything? Did you have a fight?" she asked tentatively.

"No! We were fine at lunch," Yong Qi exclaimed.

"I don't know, Yong Qi," Zi Wei sighed. "But come back tomorrow, maybe it'll be better then. I'll see if I can get her to talk. Don't worry too much."

Despite her assurances to Yong Qi, however, Zi Wei didn't manage to get Xiao Yan to talk to her that night. The next morning, it was a weekend, Xiao Yan was extremely quiet at breakfast and Zi Wei didn't manage to get more than a word at a time out of her. But at least she was out of her room and Zi Wei knew Yong Qi would be over soon. Maybe they could talk about whatever it was that was upsetting Xiao Yan so much that she looked like she spent the night in tears.

~*~

Yong Qi came to Shu Fang Zhai was early as it was decent. He arrived in the dining room to see Xiao Yan and Zi Wei still at breakfast but the silence hung heavy in the room. Xiao Yan looked up at the sound of his entrance and he was shocked to see how tired she look. Her face was pale and her eyes ringed dark from lack of sleep, her eyes red, obviously from crying. He had no idea what had happened to make her this upset but his heart twisted in pain to see the effects of it on her. He glanced at Zi Wei, who gave a tiny shrug, to show that she didn't manage to get anything out of Xiao Yan either. Xiao Yan, on the other hand, stood up abruptly and was about to leave the room, but Yong Qi was quicker. He took her arm and held her back, despite her struggle, while Zi Wei quietly slipped out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"Xiao Yan," he said patiently, "don't do this, please."

"Do what?" she said sullenly, but she had stopped struggling.

"Please, just tell me what happened? Why are you avoiding me?" he asked. It was something that he was so totally lost about.

"Why would you care?" she snapped, making him blanche. Where did that come from?

"Xiao Yan!" he exclaimed reproachfully; he couldn't help it. "How could you say that?"

She was stubbornly silent. Yong Qi bit back a frustrated growl. "Will you at least tell me why you're so upset?" he asked with forced patience.

Still, she didn't say anything but just stared stonily at the wall. He paced around the room angrily for a moment before stopping in front of her. "This is ridiculous, Xiao Yan," he said. She just gave him a piercing glare. He exhaled and clenched his fist in frustration. "Please. Just tell me. _ What's wrong_? You're being totally unreasonable, you know!"

"Am I?" she asked derisively. "And why should it matter to you?"

"Why wouldn't it matter?" he cried angrily. "I happen to care about you, Xiao Yan, in case you haven't noticed."

"Yeah right. You seemed merry enough with Zhang Fan Ding last night without any thought for me," Xiao Yan snapped.

What? Zhang Fan Ding? What did _she _have anything to do with any of this? Yong Qi's mind whirled, he could not make any sense of what she just said.

"What _are_ you talking about?"

"You and Zhang Fan Ding!" she turned abruptly to face him now, her eyes hard. "I _saw_ you yesterday, you were all cosy together in that room, holding her hand - " Xiao Yan choked on her words, and as sudden as she was in facing him, she now looked away while he could only stare at her in a mixture of shock, anger and hurt.

"_That_ is what this is all about?" he exclaimed incredulously. "You're upset because of _Zhang Fan Ding_? Oh for goodness sake, Xiao Yan, I thought you were more reasonable than that!"

How could she even begin to consider the idea that he would have anything to do with Zhang Fan Ding? Wasn't she there when he complained about having to work with that girl? How could she possibly have so little trust in him?

"Well, now you know I'm not," she yelled angrily.

"Maybe if you'd just asked me about it before jumping to conclusions it would be better," he snapped. "I would appreciate a little bit of trust, as well, you know!"

"I trust my eyes, thank you!" was her reply.

"You are being _ridiculous_! The only reason I'm anywhere near that girl at all is because I have to work with her!"

"You didn't seem so adversed to her last night from what I saw!" Xiao Yan cried.

"What the hell did you think you see? You saw nothing, Xiao Yan! It's just some stupid part of your imagination exaggerating everything! There's nothing between me and Fan Ding, not that I have to justify it to you!"

"You don't have to justify it to me?" Xiao Yan spat. "Oh yes, because I mean nothing to you, do I? I'm just some amusement to past your time while you wait for some more glamorous, rich girl to come along, someone like _ her_!"

Yong Qi just stared at the ridiculousness of her accusation. He had never given her reason to think such thing!

"How could you think that?" he exclaimed, hurt. "What have I done for you to think that?"

"Maybe it's because you're hardly there anymore these days?" she cried, tears shining in her eyes. "I hardly see you anymore and whenever I do, you're always quiet or sullen. If you're bored of me, I'd appreciate it if you'd just tell me outright!"

Yong Qi could only splutter at the indignation of such an accusation. Did she really think he was capable of just playing with her like that?

"You're being totally and utterly stupid about this, Xiao Yan," he said coldly. "I don't see how I've done anything to deserve what you're saying!"

"Oh yes, if I'm so ridiculous and stupid, it's a wonder why you're here at all! Why don't you just go away!" she snapped.

Anger flushed over him as he thought about the sheer absurdity of her accusation, and he snapped back, "Fine, maybe I will, until you get over yourself and all this idiotic fantasy." With that, he strode out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

~*~

The cold silence between Yong Qi and Xiao Yan stretched on for days, frustrating all of their friends, who received the brunts of their frustration with each other. Nothing that Zi Wei said could get Xiao Yan to see reason, and Zi Wei had to check herself before she got Xiao Yan angry at her too. Yong Qi, for his part, had no idea where Xiao Yan's unreasonable accusations could possibly stem from, and saw that he bore no fault in this entire situation, so was stubbornly not going to be the one to make up. In the end, their friends came to a silent agreement that they could not persuade two very stubborn people to fix things with each other unless they wanted it themselves and left them to their own devices.

It was not until Yong Qi was driving home on a stormy, snowy evening that he came across Xiao Yan trekking across the snow. What was she doing alone in this weather and at this hour? he wondered, his heart filled with worry. While they were fighting she had refused to let him drive her but that didn't mean that she and Zi Wei didn't have their own driver! He pulled up abruptly beside her. His sudden appearance made her startle but as soon as she recognised his car, she made to continue on her way. However, he rushed out of the car and grabbed her arm.

"Get in the car," he said urgently.

She struggled fiercely against him, "Let go of me! Just leave me alone, Yong Qi!"

He didn't bother to snap in annoyance at her stubbornness, but just dragged her towards the passanger seat. He just said grimly, "I don't care that you're mad at me, Xiao Yan, but there's no way I'm leaving you in the snow on your own like this! Just get in the car!" He practically forced her to sit down on the seat and buckled the seatbelt around her.

They have replayed this scenario of him struggling to get her into his car in bad weather to the point of absurdity. By the time he got back into the car, she was staring out in front of her, not acknowledging his presence at all. He sighed heavily. "You really _have_ to stop running around on your own in bad weather at night, Xiao Yan."

"What's it to you?" she sniffed.

"Will you stop it?" he asked. "Hasn't this gone on long enough?"

"What? Stop what?" she persisted stubbornly. "You've already established that I'm stupid and ridiculous, why do you still bother then?"

"I don't know!" he exclaimed, turning around to face her. "I really don't, Xiao Yan! But for some insane reason, I love you, as ridiculous as you are, as stubborn as you are! I don't know what I've ever done to make you doubt that!"

He could see the tears springing into her eyes and she turned angrily away, not letting him see them spill down her cheeks. The sight of her crying was tearing at his heart painfully. He reached out, brushing the tears away from her cheeks with his thumb. "Xiao Yan," he whispered, more tenderly. "Look at me."

She shook her head, overcome with tears. He kept his hand against her cheek still and watched the tears falling from her. Suddenly the whole fight just seemed so pointless. Then again, it had been so from the beginning. He just didn't know how it started, and why. He still didn't know why she suddenly came to doubt his feelings for her. It could not just be because she saw some girl flirting with him. She saw that on a regular enough basis, and was too sensible to care too much about it. At least, she was before. What happened to change it?

He reached out and took her hand in his. She tried to tug it away but he held on. He pressed his lips repeatedly against the back of her hand. "What do you want me to do, Xiao Yan?" he asked, pained. "What do I have to do to prove that in my heart and my mind there's only you? I've been miserable these couple of weeks without you! I have never felt about anyone the way I feel about you!"

She turned finally to face him, her face streaked with tears. "Why? You could have anyone you want, why would you choose me?" she asked.

_Why_ did she need to ask that? "Because the one I want is _you_!" he exclaimed. "Why is that so hard for you to accept?"

"Why?" she persisted.

"Because you always run around in the rain and the snow so that I have to go after you to bring you home safely! Because you showed me I can and am allowed to receive disinterested affection from a girl! Because of that fire in your eyes whenever you talk about things you love, and because that fire is present when you talk about me! Because you always take out more books than you could carry and then you dump them on me to carry them for you! Because your hands would get cold and then I have to warm them up for you! Because you can't cook to save your life and Heaven forbid if I ever have to live on your cooking! Because you still haven't given me back my jacket that you kept from the day we met and I don't even want it back! I love you because of the million different things that make up who you are that I will never find in anyone else! Because you are the only Xia Xiao Yan in the world and no one could ever replace you!"

He was trembling with the overwhelming rush of emotions as he looked at her pleadingly. More tears spilled from her eyes but she grabbed both his hands and held them to her face.

"I - " she started but he swiftly placed a finger on her lips, silencing her.

"Don't, you don't have to say anything," he whispered. "I just need you to believe that my heart is sincere, and that I would never think about hurting you intentionally."

She just nodded. Then she leaned her head on the seat, a tired look on her face. He frowned in worry. "You haven't been taking care of yourself," he observed, guilt and pain flooding his heart.

"I'm fine," she said softly.

"When's the last time you have a proper night's sleep?" he demanded.

"I - " she hesitated. The hesitation was enough.

"Get into the backseat," he said firmly. "Get some sleep."

"No," she shook her head stubbornly.

"Do you just like to be contrary?" he asked, stroking her cheek. She gave a weak smile. He got out of his seat and rounded over to her side of the car, opening both her door and the back seat door. She quietly got out and got into the back seat and lay down. He grabbed his coat from where it hung on the back of the driver's seat and tucked it under her head as a pillow. He knelt in the cramped space and brushed a stray strand of hair off her cheek, looking at her sorrowfully. "We'll talk more later, all right?" he said gently. She nodded and he leaned in to kiss her cheek gently. Her eyes fluttered shut and in no time, she had drifted off to sleep. He got back to his seat and started the car, driving as slow as possible to not jolt her. When they stopped in front of Shu Fang Zhai, he just stopped the car and sat for a long moment, savouring the feeling of being near her again. He'd only just realised how much being away from her had taken a toll on him.

Finally, he called Zi Wei and told her to get the housekeeper to open the door while he gently eased Xiao Yan out of the car. Careful to not wake her, he carried her into the house and just shook his head silently at Zi Wei to show that Xiao Yan was fine. He took Xiao Yan up to her bedroom and settled her gently down on the bed. Zi Wei helped him take off her shoes, socks and outter clothes. Then Zi Wei got up but he lingered behind, tucking the blankets around her tightly. He knew Zi Wei was waiting at the door, but he knelt by her bed watching her sleep for a moment, before brushing a light kiss on her forehead.

He came out into the hall with Zi Wei and closed the door behind them. His sister just raised an eyebrow enquiringly at him.

"We're ok," he just said simply. "I think."

"You think?"

"Better, anyway. Why was she alone tonight?" he frowned.

"I tried to get her home earlier but she insisted on staying late. She was supposed to call me when she planned to go home so that I can send the car for her. What happened?"

"Well she didn't call for the car," he sighed. "I found her walking in the snow."

Zi Wei let out an exasperated sigh. "She gets reckless when she's upset, I should never have listened to her. At least you caught her."

"Do you mind if I stay tonight?" he asked finally. Zi Wei just smiled rather shrewdly at him. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "I just missed her, Zi Wei."

"I know," she smiled. "Stay."

~*~

When Yong Qi woke the next morning, he would have fallen off the couch in Xiao Yan's room that he was sleeping on if she hadn't caught him and pushed him back. He opened his eyes and saw that she was sitting on the floor next to him and was smiling gently at him.

"Hey," she said softly.

He smiled back at her, "Hey, yourself. What time is it?"

"Early," she said.

"Why are you up then?" he asked.

"Well you forced me to go to sleep early last night. I can't say that you had a good night though, this isn't the most comfortable place to sleep."

"I was near you," he shrugged, sitting up, despite the fact that his cramped muscles were protesting. "That's enough."

She stood up too, and took his hands and pulled him over to the bed. "Sit," she said, and sat down beside him. She still had not let go of his hands, but he wasn't complaining about that.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, looking up at him, sorrowfully. "I've been so stupid."

He just shook his head, and pulled her into his arms. It was enough to there with her, to be able to feel her touch, to see her again, that he didn't need her apology. None of it mattered anymore. "I love you, you know," he whispered. "You should never doubt that."

"I know, now," she sighed. Then, pulling away slightly from him, she reached up to touch his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, rubbing his cheek against her hand. She said again, "I'm sorry."

"Shhh..." he murmured and leaned down, brushing his lips lightly against hers, feeling the familiar fire building up in him at the contact. He had nearly forgotten how good it was to kiss her. She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and parted her lips, urging him to deepen the kiss. He could only comply happily. Strong currents of emotions were rushing over Yong Qi and he tightened his grip on her waist, pulling her close. Xiao Yan snuggled up against him, her body pressed up against his, her hands running through his hair, letting him trail kisses all over her face and down her neck, her throat. He could feel the warmth of her skin through the thin cotton of her pyjama.

"Xiao Yan," he murmured against her neck, breathing in the scent of her.

"I missed you," she whispered, her lips against his forehead, on his hair. "I missed you so much."

Before he knew it, he was pressing her down on the bed with him over her, returning his lips to hers again. She matched his ardent kisses with deep ones of her own, gasping his name breathlessly as they part for air. Surely it was not possible to feel so much love for someone, as he was feeling now. Yong Qi hardly gave himself time to breath as he let all the emotions he had suppressed these last couple of weeks into those kisses.

"I missed you too," he murmured against her lips, before kissing her passionately again.

Her hands seemed to be all over his body and he no longer knew where his body ended and hers began. They were pressing impossibly close to each other. Part of his mind not caught up in the fire of her was reminding him that perhaps they were going too fast, that surely she could not be ready for this. But he couldn't stop. He couldn't give up the taste of her lips, of her skin. Almost unconsciously, he slipped a hand under her shirt and caressed her stomach.

"Yong Qi," she gasped, which only served to encourage him even more. Yong Qi's face was buried in her neck as he placed tiny kisses there, before slowly trailing his lips up to her face. It was only when they both opened their eyes and their gazes met that reality seemed to drift in a bit.

Xiao Yan gave a breathless gasp, her eyes widening in horror, before removing her own hands from under his shirt and roughly pushing him off. He closed his eyes at the lost contact, pulled away and inhaled deeply. But he could hardly blame her for pushing away. They were getting too carried away, they were not ready for this. He knew that instinctively. Even if they were, he could not let it happen like this.

He sat up and saw that she was sitting with her back towards him, his heart filling with worry. Was she angry at him for letting them go so far, so unrestrained? He tentatively reached out and touched her shoulder. "Xiao Yan, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have - "

"No," she said in a shaky voice. "You didn't do anything I didn't want you to."

She turned to face him again, and he panicked to see that there were tears in her eyes. "Xiao Yan - "

"I'm ok," she said, brushing the tears away. "I'm ok, really."

But she wasn't. The tears only seemed to flow harder as she said this. He longed to take her into his arms now, but didn't know whether it would only make her cry more. Guilt was washing over him. How could he have been so careless? He had taken advantage of the situation, had gotten so carried away...

"Stop blaming yourself, Yong Qi," her voice cut through his thoughts. He looked at her, she was staring at him determinedly, though the tears were still there. "Stop it. It's not your fault. I was responding to you too, wasn't it?"

"But you're upset," he said gruffly.

"Not at you," she looked down, whispering. "Not about that. Not really."

"Then...what?" She bit her lip and looked away. It made Yong Qi even more worried as he took her hands. "Xiao Yan, please..."

"I don't want you think that I would do this just to - to advantage of you, try to trap you or something - " she choked out.

She was hardly looking at him and he was just bewildered. "Xiao Yan, how could I think that of you? If anything I'm only afraid I was pushing you too much - "

Still avoiding his eyes, she said so quietly that he had to strain to hear it, "Zhang Fan Ding seems to think that the only reason you're with me is because we're having sex."

It took him several deep breaths to not show his annoyance. Why did it always come back to that? He said forcefully, "What does that signify? What does _she_ know about us? You know we are _not_ sleeping together -."

"I know!" she exclaimed, looking at him tearfully. "But then I think - she's willing enough and why would you want me when you could have her? I _don't_ want to sleep with you to - to just _keep _you, but then I can't bear to lose you either - "

He still could not follow her train of thoughts at all, wondered whether she could, herself. What she was saying was so absurd that he wondered how she could possibly come to such thoughts at all. "Xiao Yan, I just don't understand why you feel so threatened by Zhang Fan Ding! I have never showed any interest in her. I know she's all over me but I would not get within ten feet of her willingly. I just don't understand why you think I would just drop you for her because she'd be willing to get into bed with me!"

"Because she's everything I'm not, she's pretty and - "

Yong Qi cut her off abruptly. " - and spoiled and annoying! She's everything I don't like in a girl, Xiao Yan. Of all the people you could feel threatened by, she should be the last of them! I've known her since high school, if I wanted to have sex with her, I'd done it before now! But Xiao Yan...why should you listen to anything she says?"

Xiao Yan sniffled, "I didn't at first...but then I saw you with her and I got so afraid - I just realised that there are so many more girls more suited to you who want you and I - I don't have anything to hold you - "

"You have my heart, isn't that enough?" he asked gruffly. He placed a finger on her chin and tilted her face up so that she looked at him. "Xiao Yan, I've been exposed to girls like Zhang Fan Ding for years, I'm not about to fall for one of them, no matter what they offer me. The happiness I get when I'm with you is worth so much more, and I love you too much to use you like that. Only you and I know what it's like between us, only you know how deeply I feel about you. Don't let other petty, jealous words from other people get between us."

"It's not you, you know," she whispered. "It's _me_. I've never felt like this before, and I was scared...because I was feeling too much and I was afraid that if I ever lost you, it would just hurt too much and I wouldn't be able to bear it..."

Her words were both pain and pleasure to him. How much had he failed in showing his love for her if she could be this insecure of her place in his heart? And yet...the fact that she held that much fear of losing him spoke more of her own feelings for him and he could not help but feel the sweeping warmth of the silent knowledge falling over him. He rested his foredhead against her and brushed his fingers tenderly against her cheek. "You won't lose me, you won't ever lose me," he murmured and closed his eyes, savouring the way she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. He stroked her soft hair and just held her in his arms.

"I'm sorry," she said finally, pulling away but her arms still wrapped around his waist. "I've been so silly, haven't I?"

"Yes," he admitted. "But then it just means I have more reason to show you how much you mean to me."

"I'm still scared," she confessed.

"Of what?"

Xiao Yan looked at him, her eyes shining, not with tears, but with love. "Of suddenly realising that I have fallen in love with you and that my heart is not my own anymore. You've taken it away and I know I won't ever get it back."

Yong Qi could not help but take a deep, shaky breath at her confession. "Oh, Xiao Yan," he whispered, brushing his lips lightly against her forehead, then the tip of her nose. "Xiao Yan." He took one of her hands in his and placed it over his chest. "And I've trusted you with my heart, I hope I can convince you to trust me with yours," he said softly.

"I think I already do," she said quietly. He smiled and leaned down, capturing her lips in a sweet, gentle kiss. When they parted, she gave a small smile and said, "I don't know why you put up with me."

"Because you actually disagree with me every once in a while," he smiled back.

"Is that so rare?" she asked.

"Oh yes, trust me. Girls just seem to want to agree with everything I say. It gets boring after a while."

"But in every other aspects, I can't ever measure up - " She stopped abruptly because he had placed a finger on her lips.

"Don't. Don't compare yourself to anyone," he said seriously. "It's them who can't possibly measure up to _you_."

"You're not supposed to say wonderful things like that when I've just been so horrible to you," she pouted.

"And why not?" he asked, twirling a lock of her hair around his finger.

"Because then I feel all guilty."

He took her into his arms and said with a sigh, "I should apologise to you, you know. I know part of this was my fault."

"What? Why?" she asked, looking up at him in surprise.

"You are right," he said guiltily, "I haven't been paying attention to you lately. I'm sorry, I should not blame you if I cannot assure you of my feelings." She opened her mouth to protest but he just shook his head and pressed on. "No, really. I've been annoyed with having to work with Zhang Fan Ding and I was taking it out on you. You shouldn't have to be an outlet for my bad mood."

"Maybe I should," she contradicted. "I wouldn't want you to think you can't share the bad times with me, Yong Qi. But maybe you just have to tell me why you're not happy. If you leave me to guess I tend to think it's me."

"I guess these are just things we have to learn about each other," he smiled sheepishly. "You realise we just had our first fight?"

She giggled lightly, "I just hope it won't be so ridiculous in the future."

"It might be ridiculous," he murmured against her hair, breathing in the strawberry scent of her shampoo, "but it's nice to make up." With that, he pressed his lips against hers in an kiss, which she returned whole-heartedly. Her lips were soft and delicious, he felt he could go on kissing her forever and she felt too right in his arm that he didn't want to ever let go.

"I think," Xiao Yan gasped breathlessly, when they finally parted, "that we need to talk about this as well."

"About what?" he asked, still too caught up in the feelings that kiss generated to think clearly.

"This," she waved her hands vaguely.

"Sex?" he teased, making her blush. Then, soberly, he said, "I'm not going to push you, Xiao Yan. Anyway, I think neither of us are ready yet."

"I know," she said softly. "But I just don't know...what you...expect."

"Xiao Yan?" He lifted her chin so that she looked at him. "I don't expect anything. Not now, not yet. We've only been together for a couple of months, Xiao Yan. And no matter how long we've been together, I'm not going to force you into it before you're ready. I can't promise that I won't get carried away again, but I need you to understand that you can stop me if I do anything you don't want me to do and I will stop, Xiao Yan. I would not ever dream of hurting you like that."

"I...I'm not even sure what I want, myself," she said. "When you kiss me, I never want you to stop, but then...I'm not ready for us to go all the way either. I'm just not sure where in that middle that I want it to stop."

"I know," he replied, stroking her hair. "The thing is, I think if we do it once, I'm not sure we'd be able to stop and it will eventually become known to my grandmother, who does not need more reason to disapprove of us. I want everything to be right between us, or at least as much as it is in our power to make it. I want you, I won't deny it, but if we do it before marriage, it will get out and people will gossip. While I can't care less, I can't bear to put you through that. I don't want to put the pressure of marriage on you just now, either. For now, I just want you to know what when we do do it, it would be because I love you, not for any other reason."

She gave a small smile and reached up, placing her hand against his cheek. "I understand," she said softly.

* * *

_A/N: I am a little apprehensive about the last part of this chapter...but I think it has to be written. I don't plan to do massive plot development or characterisation for this fic, but I do want to take all vital points of their relationship and see how that would change in this modern setting. So, in the bigger scheme of things, this is a conversation that has to take place. (Right now I'm thinking way too much about how a changed historical background - no Communist government but still certain traditional values - would change the social value and attitude about this. But if I get into, I'll end up getting in too deep, so I won't.) _


	9. Cinderella Moment

_A/N: I've had this chapter on hold for ever, but the end for some reason just would not co-operate so here it is finally, a pretty obvious world-building chapter that otherwise doesn't have much plot. There are so many things that I ripped off from different fandoms, stories and universes for this chapter :P so anything that seems familiar and you've seen it somewhere else...well I probably plucked it from there and put it in here._

_

* * *

_

**Cinderella Moment**

Zi Wei and Xiao Yan had just finished breakfast one March Saturday morning when He Jing came gliding in.

"Oh good, you're both awake. You're coming with me today!" she said as soon as she saw them.

"What for?" Zi Wei asked, frowning.

"Surely Huang Ah Ma, or the Empress, or even Yong Qi had told you two about the Annual Spring Imperial Dinner that's taking place in ...a week?" she asked. "You need to prepare for it, both of you! After all, this will be both of your first major public appearance - all eyes will be on you!"

"You mean they'll be on Zi Wei," Xiao Yan said.

"Oh no!" He Jing laughed. "You too, believe me! Even more so, after all, you will be there accompanying Yong Qi now wouldn't you?"

"Er - is that a significant thing, accompanying Yong Qi?" she asked.

"For goodness sake, haven't you read the papers lately? They've almost forgotten Zi Wei to focus on you!" He Jing said.

"What exactly would preparing for this dinner involve?" Zi Wei said a little too quickly. Xiao Yan wondered whether it was an attempt to distract the conversation away from the idea of putting her on display, which was becoming more and more of a disconcerting idea by the minute.

"First we are going to the treasure chamber - I know, it's just a really archaic name, it's just where the crown jewels and other valuable things like the Emperor's Seal and stuff are stored - and see if we can pick out some jewellery for you to wear, because we can't decide on your dress designs before we decide on the jewels. Madame Zhang Chan Yu, the Imperial Designer, always design dresses for big occasions like this based on the choice of jewels. After that we're having lunch, then I made the appointment with Madame Zhang after lunch, when she'll be designing your dresses. She won't be happy with so little time to work on, especially when it's a court dress event, that can't be helped."

Both Xiao Yan and Zi Wei were looking at He Jing with wide eyes. Xiao Yan wasn't sure whether her own astonishment was because she could not imagine anything of the things that He Jing just said they needed to do (except, perhaps, lunch), or the very matter-of-fact and natural way He Jing said this, as if she did such things every day.

He Jing seemed to notice both their speechlessness and chuckled, "Don't worry, you be the princesses, I'll be the fairy-godmother, all right? Just follow me."

All the imperial family residences, the treasure chamber, the imperial library, the imperial museum and palace management offices were enclosed within the walls of the Imperial Palace, still called the Forbidden City, though it was far from forbidden anymore - at least, not in the sense that it originally meant. In fact, certain parts of the Palace was now, in the modern day, opened to tours at certain set time of the year. But the treasure chamber was certainly not one of those places. Only a certain number of people could enter it at all, almost limited to the imperial family alone, and anyone else must be accompanied by a member of the imperial family.

The first impression Xiao Yan had of the treasure chamber was that the building looked, appropriately, like a very large safe. All four sides of it was smooth and practically windowless, even the huge door mimicked that of a bank vault. It was guarded more heavily than any other building in the Forbidden City and she suspected it to be bullet-proof, and whatever-else-proof that was possible.

The building would be just like any other house, except that the design was simply very simple. Entering the front door, there was a long hallway that branched off into rooms at the side, and there was another room at the end of the hall.

"This place, for lack of better word, is the family safe, and each of the these rooms are compartments," He Jing explained. "The room at the end is where things that either below to the throne or the state is kept - it is not our personal possessions but passed on to whoever sits on the throne. Technically we do not own them, ourselves, but the state does. There are some jewels that are just so ancient that they fall into that category, and are stored in that room. And then each household of the imperial family is entitled to one of these rooms - you will get yours, Zi Wei, I suspect, when the details are sorted out, and do not fear, Huang Ah Ma will certainly make sure you have things to put in there. If you eventually do marry Yong Qi, Xiao Yan, you will be sharing his compartment. Each of my siblings and I inherited jewels or personal aspects from our mother, either for our own use or to pass on as we wish. I should say that when the time comes, Yong Qi will be presenting you with some very sentimental jewellery. But for now, for this imperial dinner, I'm sure we can find something among the crown jewels or my personal ones for you to borrow."

He Jing seemed to be in her element enough, and neither Zi Wei nor Xiao Yan knew how to react to most of this anyway, so they just let her take them down the hallway. Only one of the door was open - and it was an office. It was probably the only room in the whole building that had a window. There in the office was one secretary, and she stood up to greet them as He Jing led them into the office.

"Hi, Ru Qiong," He Jing said pleasantly, taking a clipboard from the desk and filled in some details. Then she held it out to Zi Wei and Xiao Yan. "Sign here."

On the clipboard was a form with information like who entered the chamber, with whom, at what time and for what purpose. Zi Wei and Xiao Yan signed where He Jing indicated before following her out of the room and down the hallway.

"She has one of the most boring jobs in the world," He Jing whispered.

"What does she do?" Xiao Yan asked.

"Monitors who comes in and out of here and what they take in and out, record every single entry and exit, including what is taken in and out. But it's not as if everyday that we need something from here, so I wonder what she does on the day that no one actually comes here. Not to mention the stress of being here, the amount of accountability involves with the job."

"Then why would anyone do this job?" Zi Wei asked.

"Well, considering what she _is _watching over, for such a boring job, it pays really well. You noticed there's a door next to the office? That's the security room, where all the security cameras transmit to. That's an even more boring job. Can you imagine just staring at a bunch of screens showing empty hallways all day?"

Xiao Yan definitely felt the creepy sensation of being watched when she was in this building. She glanced up to see, sure enough, security cameras situated every few metres apart.

The stopped in front of the door at the end of the hall. There were no handle on the two heavy metal doors, which anywhere else would look like elevator doors. There was, however, a keypad and a handprint scanner next to the door. He Jing keyed in a security code on the keypad, before laying her palm against the scanner. Xiao Yan wasn't surprised at the level of security but it all seemed so surreal that she was actually somewhere that needed this level of security. The doors slowly parted to let them in.

The entered the room. Xiao Yan nearly jumped when the metal doors slid shut behind them. She stared at the doors, and felt almost claustrophobic and trapped in a room with absolutely no window, and only lit with a rather eery dim light.

"Most of the things in here get damaged if exposed to too much artificial light," He Jing explained.

All three sides of the room was lined with doors that would open to reveal shelves of whatever that was precious enough to be kept in here, not that Xiao Yan could imagine all the things that would go in here. He Jing led them to a particularly tall door, like that of a closet, and swung it open. Behind the door were shelves of blue velvet, with all manners of precious jewellery encased in them. There were traditional Chinese jade accessories but also more modern pieces of gold and silver and precious gems.

"This isn't real," Xiao Yan whispered, staring at the jewels in front of her. "I'm not really here."

Zi Wei, likewise was staring at the display in front of her, wide-eyed. He Jing seemed to be holding back a chuckle.

The process of choosing the jewellery they would wear to the imperial dinner was taken up more by He Jing than anything, as both Zi Wei and Xiao Yan were much too in awe of what they were seeing. Besides, it was not as if they knew how to make a choice even if they were coherent enough to. Nothing could have prepared either of them for the idea of actually being to have a pick of the crown jewels to wear.

In the end, He Jing chose for Zi Wei a necklace of peridots and diamonds set into shapes of flowers and matching earring set.

"It's your birthstone, you know, the peridot," He Jing told Zi Wei. "A symbol of pure heart and mind, innocence and faith. I rather think it suits you."

"I find it bizarre that you can explain the meaning of all these gems here," Xiao Yan said, as He Jing had been doing just that - reeling off facts about what each gem or combination of gems meant in each of the pieces that she was considering.

He Jing just smiled, "Each gem of course have a certain meaning, and part of choosing the jewel is to make sure it suits the wearer and the occasion."

Somehow, she seemed a lot more fussy in her choice for Xiao Yan; the amount of time He Jing spent on choosing the jewellery for her seemed ridiculous - to _Xiao Yan_, at least. She had to the admit the jewels were beautiful beyond anything she could imagine and she was in awe of seeing them in such quantity - and knowing they were _real_. But the prospect of wearing them was surreal. Firstly, she could not imagine herself ever having a right to such riches. Secondly, she could not imagine herself wearing such decidedly feminine and princessy contraptions.

He Jing was looking critically at the jewels on the shelves in front of her, and apparently could not find anything that she thought would suit Xiao Yan and shut the door. Xiao Yan at first thought that He Jing was giving up on the jewels for her and could not hep but be a bit relieved about it. After all, none of it really belonged to her and she still could not begin to grasp the idea of wearing any of them. She had never had a chance for things like necklaces and bracelets and earrings before, and never particular missed them. The truth was, when it came to such girly things, she never felt a very pulling desire to wear them.

However, He Jing said, "Yong Qi has something in his compartment; it was my mother's, a really beautiful garnet and diamond necklace that would really look wonderful on you. I'd show you it now but I can't get into his compartment anyway. It would take my handprint, but I don't know the security code. I'll ask him to get out for you later." Apparently noticing her slight discomfort, He Jing said, "It'll belong to you eventually."

"You seem very sure of that," Xiao Yan said.

He Jing didn't answer but just smiled.

"Are we not taking the necklace for Zi Wei?" she asked again.

"No, I'll ask Yong Qi to get both for you on the day of the dinner. No point taking it out now to leave it lying around. We store all the precious things here for a reason."

o0o0o0o0o0

"The Annual Spring Imperial Dinner," He Jing explained later when they were having lunch at her house, "is held every year after the holidays are over and all the duties related to that has basically passed. It's basically the first official appearance of the imperial family after the lunar new year."

Being married, He Jing didn't live in the palace anymore, but her house was still near enough. As she did take imperial duties such as representing the imperial family at events and state visits to foreign countries, she was still entitled to the same household and personal staff as the rest of her family.

"Anyway, it's a really fancy dinner with the extended imperial family and the prime minister, some select parliament members and guests and ambassadors. I wasn't joking earlier. This year's dinner, believe me, will have everyone focusing on both of you. Which is why I have to make sure you're prepared for this. There won't be of course, any press or media, but still, you will basically be having dinner with some pretty elite people. Not all of them necessarily rejoice in your presence, Zi Wei. And Xiao Yan, you must realise that the fact that Yong Qi is taking you is by no mean a trivial decision, nor is the fact that Grandmother has allowed him to invite you. They are both making a statement. My grandmother may have misgivings about you, but she _is_ trying to show that she is going to trust Yong Qi's judgement and decision."

"Now you're making it sound scary," Xiao Yan said bemusedly.

"It can be daunting, but it doesn't mean you can't have fun and get to know everyone," He Jing smiled. "The food will be good as it is every year; besides it's a chance to dress up. You would think that at being so close to lunar new year, it'd be traditional dress, but it is a white-tie event, which just means pretty evening gowns for us."

Zi Wei chuckled, "Then you should know that Xiao Yan doesn't really like wearing dresses."

"I had to wear a skirt when I was in school as part of the uniform, of course, but to be honest I would much prefer jeans and T-shirt."

He Jing looked horrified, and Xiao Yan wasn't sure whether it was a mock expression or real. But after a moment thinking, she said, "Why I am surprised, I'm not sure. From what I've seen of your wardrobe, I have to say I despair at it!"

"What's wrong with my clothes?" Xiao Yan exclaimed indignantly.

"Let me take you shopping someday," He Jing just said. "But today, we're getting your dresses made for the imperial dinner. You certainly can't go to an event like this in jeans and T-shirt! And while we're on the subject, Madame Zhang, is an absolutely genius fashion designer. But her way of talking is rather...dictatorial. Just...just don't be too offended by what she says, ok? It's nothing personal. She doesn't know what she say can be a little...grating, that's just how she is."

o0o0o0o0o0

Xiao Yan couldn't really guess how old she was, but she was sure that Madame Zhang was a lot older in age than she looked. She was dressed in a conservative enough but very fashionably-cut suit, accompanied by three younger assistants.

"Princess," she barely nodded to He Jing as she fairly floated into the room.

"Madame," He Jing said, gesturing to Zi Wei and Xiao Yan. "This is my sister, Zi Wei and this is Xiao Yan."

Madame Zhang paid no attention to either Zi Wei's or Xiao Yan's outstretched hands, nor made any indication of greeting them. She was just looking at both Zi Wei and Xiao Yan with eyes sharp as a razor. Then, her eyes swept from the top of Xiao Yan's head to the tip of her toes, clucking her tongue faintly in her mouth.

"Er - hello..." Zi Wei said faintly, but He Jing was smiling, as if expecting this rather odd greeting, and shook her head slightly at both of them, indicating that they should just let her get on with it.

"First off," the designer said with authority, "you have a horrible posture. That will not do, a beautiful dress will only look beautiful on a person who carries themselves beautifully." Here she reached out and literally pulled Xiao Yan's shoulders back. If Xiao Yan could bring herself to feel offended about the physical handling, she couldn't think of a way to react other than just blink rapidly. Something about Madame Zhang made it impossible to make a retort.

The designer apparently wasn't waiting for a response from Xiao Yan, as she next placed her fingers under Xiao Yan's chin and pushed up, so that her nose was, as the phrase went, up in the air. "You do have a beautiful neck, you must show it off more! More the reason to stop slouching!"

Xiao Yan sighed; the retort was nearly out of her mouth and she just managed to hold it back, remembering He Jing's earlier advice. She tried to furtively drop her chin a bit, but Madame Zhang swiftly raised it again, saying, "You are accompanying a prince to an imperial dinner, not a farmer going to the market! Look up!"

"Am I supposed to be able to see where I'm going?" Xiao Yan said.

"No, you are not. You are going to be on the arms of a prince, you do not need to be able to see the ground! People will be making way for you!"

Madame Zhang circled Xiao Yan, scrutinising, so much that she was forced to conclude that the other woman looked rather like a vulture surveying her prey.

"Your figure is tolerable, not the best there is, but it will do. It will be better if you _straighten your back_." And she reached out to physically force Xiao Yan to do just that. She glared at the older woman, but was promptly ignored. She was surprised that the expression didn't at least earn her a scolding. Looking over at Zi Wei, Xiao Yan could see that she was torn between amusement and sympathy, and wondered when it came to Zi Wei's turn, whether the designer would be this critical. She caught He Jing's eyes, but He Jing just looked used to Madame Zhang's antics.

Madame Zhang had by now stopped in front of Xiao Yan and asked, "So, what jewels will you be wearing?"

"Er - " Truth was, Xiao Yan didn't expect that Madame Zhang would ever actually want her to speak and found herself lost for word.

"My mother's garnet and diamond necklace, you remember it, Madame," He Jing answered for her.

"Oh yes," she said, nodding approvingly, for the first time since she entered the room. "I suppose that was your choice, Princess? I must say, yes, a very nice choice, especially when it will bring attention to her very comely neck."

Xiao Yan knew there was a compliment in there somewhere, and she probably should be grateful at a compliment from this apparently very hard-to-please woman, but could not help but feel disconcerted by the impersonal tone of her voice.

"Now, I will ensure the shoulder of the dress is positioned to best show off both the necklace and the neck. How high are heels that will you be wearing?"

"I don't wear heels," Xiao Yan said blankly.

"Yes, you do," the designer said, as if it was an irrefutable fact.

"No, I _don't_!" Xiao Yan insisted. "I have never worn heels in my life and I don't plan to start! I like to keep my feet on the ground, thank you."

"_Clearly_," Madame Zhang said, glancing distastefully at Xiao Yan's Converses. "But you are accompanying a prince - "

"I know who I am accompanying, you don't need to remind me," Xiao Yan grumbled darkly.

Madame Zhang continued as if she had not interrupted, " - _as such_, your presentation will reflect on him. The Prince must be able to display on his arm a lady who is worthy of him, therefore she must be visibly flawless - "

"Just visibly?" Xiao Yan asked dryly.

The designer looked at Xiao Yan with hard eyes. "My job is to make sure the ladies of the imperial family appear flawless in public and the Fifth Prince has chosen to include you as a part of that family. I would, therefore, appreciate it if you co-operate. You _will_ be put on display, and to avoid shaming both yourself and the Fifth Prince, I'm afraid you will be wearing things that you may not like, Miss. I never said beauty did not hurt!"

Xiao Yan was about to protest, but then He Jing was shaking her head most empathetically at her behind Madame Zhang's back and Xiao Yan was forced to bite back her words.

"You can't wear a ball gown with flats, anyway, Xiao Yan," He Jing jumped in to control the fire. "But Madame, perhaps a pretty low pair of heels. Let us just decide on the design, and then I can sort out the shoes later today, and we can adjust the dress at a fitting later."

Needless to say, the rest of the appointment passed with Madame Zhang discussing most of the design with He Jing. If Xiao Yan was inclined to care that much about her clothes, she would feel offended that Madame Zhang totally gave up on trying to see eye to eye with her and chose to discuss with He Jing instead. But the reality was, Xiao Yan would have anything substantial to add to their discussion anyway. The designer was only slightly less hard on Zi Wei as she was on Xiao Yan, but perhaps that was because Zi Wei was far more co-operative.

"She means well, really," He Jing patted Xiao Yan's hand after it was all over. "Her way of expressing it is just...rough. But she has a very good point, Xiao Yan. At these official functions, people _will_ judge you both on your conduct and by what you wear and how you look. You are a pretty girl, Xiao Yan, and believe me, however tough she may be, Madame Zhang will know the best way to bring that out in her design. She's brilliant at what she does, that's why she's around."

Xiao Yan just sighed, "I understand her point, but really, she could try to sound less like she's trying to insult you even when she's complimenting you. Though I must say no one has ever told me about my 'comely neck'."

"You best get used to her," He Jing said. "If you're going to be around, and going to events with Yong Qi, you'll be seeing her pretty often."

Zi Wei asked, "Is she like that to everyone?"

"Oh yes," He Jing chuckled. "She gave me such a lecture on my figure when I saw her to get a dress made a few months after I had my first child. But anyway, now we really do have to go do some shoe-shopping. There won't be time to get them custom-made so we will have to hit the shops. It should be a crime that neither of you own a pair of high heels."

"I'm not sure that shoes were my priority before when I was looking for Huang Ah Ma, Sister," Zi Wei smiled.

"Of course not," He Jing nodded. "But Xiao Yan, really, do you own _any _shoes that are remotely feminine? I would rejoice even at a plain pair of ballet flats."

"No, but I really don't wear heels, He Jing!" Xiao Yan exclaimed, grabbing at the chance to finally make her point on the subject. "I would probably be more likely to embarrass both myself and Yong Qi with a pair of heels than without them, because with them, for sure I will end up falling flat on my face!"

"As opposed to tripping on the hem of your dress if you go without heels? Don't worry, no one is expecting you to run a race, just walk slowly. You can't possibly fall, not on Yong Qi's arm at least."

"Are you suggesting then that I cling to him the whole night?"

"No," He Jing said, "but you will be able break in the shoes before you put on the dress. Besides, as I said, if you are going to be attending events with Yong Qi, whether it's in modern dress or traditional dress, you won't be able to avoid shoes which are not exactly flat."

o0o0o0o0o0

Shopping with He Jing would best be described as an ordeal. Or at least, for Xiao Yan.

Apparently He Jing thought that if they were going to go out shopping for a pair of shoes, they might as well buy other things too while they were at it. Consequently, He Jing practically dragged them through the whole of Crystal Plaza, a definitely high-end shopping mall that Xiao Yan had never ever thought she would have any business entering.

There was no other way to describe it, Xiao Yan felt more or less like a doll that day when He Jing dressed her up in a million different outfits. She wasn't _entirely_ opposed to the idea of nice clothes - she was still a girl after all, even with the professed preference for jeans and T-shirts - but He Jing apparently didn't shop in moderation.

As He Jing commandeered the paying aspect of that shopping trip, Xiao Yan had no way of knowing exactly how much they spent that day, and perhaps she didn't quite want to know. Surely it was probably more money than Xiao Yan had owned in her entire life.

Xiao Yan was only too glad when He Jing finally allowed them to go home. She wasn't sure between her and Zi Wei, who was more wearied. Zi Wei definitely had more enthusiasm for the trip than Xiao Yan at the beginning, even if Xiao Yan would have more energy to spare. But in the end, they were both too relieved to get in the car.

"He Jing, not that this hasn't been fun...in an odd kind of way," Xiao Yan admitted, "but I admit you kind of dropped us both head first into this. I'm honestly exhausted! I'm not sure it's a good thing that you would take the phrase shop till you drop quite so seriously!"

"Well, really, what's the point of being a princess if you don't look the part? Trust me, this is an indispensable perk of it!"

o0o0o0o0o0

_A few hours before the imperial dinner_

"Yong Qi, did you pick up the jewellery for Zi Wei and Xiao Yan?"

"What? ...Oh the _necklaces_!"

"You _forgot_, didn't you?"

"No, I didn't _forget_, I just..."

"...forgot. Why do you think I knew to call you to make sure you got them? Just go get them as soon as you're dressed, please."

"Yes, Ma'am."

There was laughter. "Don't get smart with me, Yong Qi."

"Yes, He Jing."

o0o0o0o0o0

Xiao Yan had to admit that Madame Zhang had done a spendid job with her gown. She had expected it to be beautiful, but she had also been perfectly prepared for a dress that would be horribly uncomfortable to wear. But this gown was both beautiful and comfortable, though it probably needed to be if she was going to sit through a dinner in it. She glanced at the heels on her feet and sighed. _Those_ were as uncomfortable as she knew they would be, but apparently it would seem she would need to get used to them.

The stylist was just putting finishing touches on her hair when there was a knock on her door.

"Come in," she said, expecting Zi Wei, so was startled when Yong Qi opened the door and leaned against the doorframe, catching her eyes through her reflection in the mirror. He smiled softly at her and cleared his throat to get the attention of the stylist and his assistants.

"Will you excuse us, please?" he asked, moving from the door to clear the way for them.

When they had left, she turned around in her seat to look at him. As much as she was used to his more casual dress around campus, Xiao Yan had seen Yong Qi dressed smartly in a suit and tie before. But she had never seen him this dressed up in full court dress uniform. His high-collared jacket was black, gold braids lined along at the hems, running down each sleeve and at his shoulders. Two columns of shining brass buttons ran the length of the jacket, from the collar down to the hem. A scarlet sash ran diagonally across his chest, tucked into a gold-coloured belt. The collar and upturned cuffs of his jacket was embroidered with dragons climbing the clouds. The trousers were the same colour as the jacket, with a narrow gold stripe up the side of each leg. The outfit was finished off with a pair of white gloves and gleaming black leather boots which caught the light and shined.

Yong Qi chuckled as she observed him. He approached her, saying, "Do you approve?"

"Approve? Oh, definitely," she answered, smiling. "You look very...dashing."

"You don't look so bad yourself," he said, a smile playing at his lips.

"That's all the praise I get?" Xiao Yan raised an eyebrow.

He smiled wider and held out a navy blue velvet jewellery box. "Fishing for compliments, are we? Well, your transformation isn't complete yet. My sister would kill me if I didn't get this to you."

"You forgot didn't you?" she laughed.

"No, what makes you say that?"

"He Jing said you'd forget," Xiao Yan smiled.

"And you listen to everything He Jing says now?"

Xiao Yan laughed, "No, but you didn't bring it until now, so it's obvious that you forgot."

"Yes, well," he shrugged, "turn around." She turned to face the mirror again as he set the box down on the table, and opened it. "I've already taken Zi Wei hers, but let me see how this looks on you."

The necklace was a simple cluster of tiny diamonds gathered into the shape of a flower, with a single garnet in the middle as the bud. Dropped down from the center back center of the flower was two further short strings of diamonds, each completed with a tear-drop-shaped garnet at the end - all was mounted on a simple white-gold strand. The matching earrings were two similar tear-drops of garnet, with a single diamond at the top tip. It perfectly matched her dress, which was of a delicate chiffon, strap-less. The first layer of chiffon was a dark red, like the garnet, and each layer got ligher in colour until the last layer was a beautiful cream.

Yong Qi removed his gloves to pick up the delicate the necklace from its bed of velvet and placed it on her neck. His hand was warm in contrast with the coolness of the necklace and she tried not to fidget while he fastened the tiny clasp at the back of her neck. He gazed at her reflection in the mirror as she put on the earrings. "Beautiful," he whispered, grasping her arms lightly and bending his head to kiss her shoulder.

There was a knock at the door before Zi Wei stuck her head in.

"Are you done?"

Xiao Yan stood up and didn't fall over on her heels as she half expected. She turned around and smiled appreciatively at the vision of Zi Wei before her. Zi Wei looked every inch the princess in a dark green silk dress with billowing skirts.

"You know, Zi Wei," Yong Qi said as he pulled his gloves back on, "it's a good thing Er Kang is not driving us tonight, otherwise I'm not sure he'll be able to keep his eyes on the road, as short as the journey is."

Zi Wei flushed and said, "Be quiet, Yong Qi." But Yong Qi just winked at her while Xiao Yan laughed.

o0o0o0o0o0

From the first moment of meeting Yong Qi, Xiao Yan had many times felt like she was living in a sort of fairy tale dream. As the car stopped in front of Yang Xin Dian that night, that feeling swept over her even more overwhelmingly. This _had_ to be a dream. How else could you describe the idea of her walking up a red carpet? She was sure even if she wasn't wearing heels, she would still trip were it not for the fact that her hand was firmly tucked in the crook of Yong Qi's elbow.

Yong Qi placed his other hand on hers briefly and gave it a reassuring squeeze. But that didn't quite succeed in making Xiao Yan relax. She knew any other girl would be completely in awe of being where she was, but frankly, Xiao Yan only felt vaguely uncomfortable. She had been fine in the car with Yong Qi and Zi Wei, but then, she wasn't thinking about the idea of being on displayed. Now, stepping out of the car, she saw that the entrance hall was littered with very elite guests - some of the most important people in the entire country. They all made way for Yong Qi and her, but Xiao Yan could also feel their eyes on her. It took all her effort to keep her eyes in front of her. He Jing was right, everyone was curious about her, wondering what it was about her that attracted Yong Qi's attention. Xiao Yan wanted to squirm at the scrutiny, and wondered how Yong Qi managed to appear so calm. She glanced over at him and saw that he had on his diplomatic smile. Even by now, she could tell when he was simply smiling for the appearance of it, and when he really smiled because he wanted to. And yet he managed to put on that diplomatic smile so painlessly. Xiao Yan didn't want to contemplate exactly what sort of grimace _she_ had on.

The walk down the hall only took a few minutes, even counting the time that they stopped briefly to greet an ambassador or two. Yet Xiao Yan was only too glad when it was over and readily breathed a sigh of relief. They entered a waiting room where the rest of Yong Qi's family was and where they would wait until their entrance was announced. The Emperor, Empress and Dowager Empress had not arrived, but the rest of the princes and princesses were already present. There was He Jing with her husband, the First Prince Yong Ling with his wife, Su Fei, the Second Prince Yong Zhong with his fiancee, Hai Meng. Xiao Yan knew that they would enter the dining hall in this order, followed by Yong An who would escort Zi Wei, thenYong Lin, with Yong Qi and Xiao Yan entering last. The Empress' own chidren were too young to attend this event, and Xiao Yan envied them, just as she envied Zi Wei the chance to arrive in the middle, and thus probably attract less curiosity.

"How are you holding up?" Yong Qi smiled, a real smile, at her as soon as they entered the room and the greetings had got out of the way.

"I'm not sure," she said faintly. "But if that was the beginning...what am I going to do for the rest of the night?"

"Oh really, Xiao Yan!" He Jing exclaimed, looking half exasperated, half amused. "This is supposed to be your Cinderella moment, and you look like someone's just dragged you into an arena, expecting you to fight a lion."

"Well, Cinderella must have had great self-esteem and fortitude that I don't have, because she didn't even react at people all suddenly staring at her," Xiao Yan said.

"It's not that bad, Xiao Yan," Zi Wei said, who had entered the room just after her and Yong Qi, commented.

"Easy for you to say," Xiao Yan replied. "They are only curious about you. I'm sure a lot of them think I shouldn't be here."

"Yong Qi, you know what?" Yong Zhong announced, grinning at Xiao Yan, "I like her!"

There was something in the way that he said it that made them all laugh and Xiao Yan could not help but smile, despite her still-present nervousness of the situation.

"You only decide this _now_?" Yong Qi asked.

"Well, it's just that she is this uncomfortable about being here means that she actually likes you for you, instead of all this - " he gestured to the whole grandeur of their standing there all dressed up for a very fancy dinner.

"Wow, I'm glad I didn't wait for you to figure it out and tell me this," Yong Qi laughed. "Because you sure are slow."

The door opened to reveal the Dowager Empress, the Emperor and the Empress.

"How are you bearing the whole ceremony so far, Zi Wei, Xiao Yan?" the Emperor asked. Xiao Yan thought if everyone she saw that night asked her that same question, she would eventually blurt out the truth, which was that she wasn't bearing it well at all, and if it wasn't for Yong Qi's sake, you could probably not pay her enough to go through something like this again. It wasn't just everyone's attention on her, it was the whole idea of having to behave flawlessly for an entire night and generally the expectation to be, well, perfect.

"I am well enough, Huang Ah Ma," Zi Wei said, while the Dowager's Empress' eyes turned, instead, to Xiao Yan. She tried not to squirm under the scrutiny, knowing that whatever came next from the Dowager Empress, it probably would not be a compliment. Normally, the Dowager Empress was hard enough on her, but she realised that tonight was probably a kind of test of how she fared under pressure. Xiao Yan could only hope she wouldn't fail it too spectacularly.

"For Heaven's sake, girl, would it kill you to smile a bit?" the old lady exclaimed rather crossly at her tense expression.

"I'm really really nervous and I can't possibly act like I'm not," Xiao Yan said earnestly. "Honestly it's already a miracle that I got this far without doing something incredibly inappropriate because I tend to the social graces of a blunt axe when I'm nervous so please don't be mad if at some point in the course of the evening I do something wrong - " She trailed off at the increasingly disapproving look on the Dowager Empress' face and realised that she had a tendency to ramble a lot too while nervous. She gave everyone a sheepish smile and felt Yong Qi squeezing her hand comfortingly.

"Qing Er would handle this with infinitely more grace," the Dowager Empress said, almost offhandedly. Xiao Yan tried hard not to flinch at the obvious jab and opened her mouth in annoyance to speak, however Yong Qi's grip on her hand tightened for a moment, stopping her.

"Well, Qing Er was practically born into this, Grandmother," Yong Qi countered smoothly, "and I think Xiao Yan coped remarkably fine out there, she deserves to let her guard down a bit in here, as we all do in here, doesn't she?"

The Dowager Empress let the issue slide away there, but later when they were more alone, Xiao Yan hissed at Yong Qi indignantly, "I could have handled it myself, Yong Qi."

"I know," he answered, "but anything you said then would just be rebuked and tonight is not the best night for you to have a battle of wills with my grandmother."

Xiao Yan had to grudgingly agree with that assessment; as it was, she could not say anything more anyway, as they were being announced to enter the dinning room for dinner to start. The rest of the night passed surprisingly uneventfully and Xiao Yan managed to make it back to Shu Fang Zhai later that night, after midnight, but without the car turning into a pumpkin or losing a shoe or a cell phone. But then again, despite the night being the epitome of a fairy tale dream, it was still a part of reality, and reality usually tended to be a lot less romantic.

o0o0o0o0o0o


	10. The 21st Century is Kind of Awesome

**The 21st Century is Kind of Awesome**

**...in which the author indulges in character building and not much happens**

Yong Qi supposed, in a similar situation, any normal guy would feel exactly as he was feeling. He was sure the overall reluctance wasn't only because of who he was and that he had never done such thing before. After all, his girlfriend was trying to drag him to see a movie that would be categorically considered a chick flick. Perhaps not the sort of high school cheerleader type of chick flick (Xiao Yan couldn't stomach many of _those_ either), but a sappy love story nonetheless. And no self-respecting guy would jump at the idea.

It wasn't that he had anything against Shakespeare. In fact, he was quite indifferent about the bard, if truth be told. There were Shakespeare plays that he enjoyed and some that he did not. Romeo and Juliet fell somewhere in the middle of that spectrum. Certainly it wasnt worth the trouble to actually go to the cinema, risk causing a whole kerfuffle when people recognised them, just to see a movie that was based on that play, no matter how many positive reviews the movie got and which actor was in it. Why bother, anyway, when a private screening at home was just a phone call away?

"It's going to be such a hassle to hope that people won't recognise us and try to avoid the whole fuss when they do, Xiao Yan," Yong Qi complained. Even then, he was not convinced that in the end, they would just stay home and do something else. After all, Xiao Yan had her heart on seeing this movie while it was in theatre and she had an uncanny ability to talk him into things he was reluctant about.

"It's not going to be such a hassle if no one recognise us," Xiao Yan said. "Besides, I can't believe you have never actually gone to a normal cinema before. Haven't you ever wanted to actually experience it, the whole actual buying a ticket and popcorn and racing into the screening room to get a good seat?"

"Not particularly, considering I only have to ask I get invited to see movies without having to pay a cent," he replied a little smugly. "If you had told me you wanted to see the movie, we could have easily gone to the premiere where we know we would get recognised, and would deal with it accordingly."

Xiao Yan rolled her eyes. "And yeah, because a movie ticket is just _so_ expensive. You can't _possibly_ afford it. Instead you can afford a five-thousand kuai tux to wear to a premiere. Please, a movie premiere is a chance to dress up and see people. The movie sort of comes as a second thought. Or maybe that's just how it's always seemed to me. I mean, people actually watch people arrive at the movie premiere, so you kind of get persuaded that the red carpet is supposed to be the main attraction. And it is, for lowly mortals who don't get to see it at premieres."

"I thought you'd want to meet people that would actually be at this premiere. Really Xiao Yan, I had no idea this movie was coming out, but if I did, I really would had got us invitations to the premiere, seeing how you probably want to meet Zhao Wei."

Xiao Yan didn't answer right away. When she did, she spoke slowly, as if contemplating each word. "I don't want to meet - no, that's a lie. I do want to meet her, but I don't want to meet her by running after her. If we ever do meet by chance or something, I'd be ecstatic, but I'm not going to go out of my way and fight crowds just to get an autograph or something. I don't think either she or I need the front page to be splattered with the so-called news that she's my idol. I don't need the newspaper to publish it to know that I love her, and if I hadn't met you, no one would care which actress I like."

Maybe that was one of the things that he loved most about Xiao Yan. Even just the way she loved her favourite actress proved that she loved him for him, and not because of who he was. No one who had spent time with Xiao Yan could deny that she totally and irrevocably loved Zhao Wei. Yong Qi had even teasingly wondered out loud whether he should be jealous. And yet, even when given the numerous chances, Xiao Yan would not jump at a chance to meet the one person she'd looked up to for five years just because she was afraid of invading her privacy and of causing gossip. Surely that meant she was with him not for the uncountable times they appeared together in the newspaper. Though sometimes Yong Qi had to wonder why people were so interested in the fact that he and Xiao Yan sat a table together in the library, as reported in a tabloid earlier that week. He didn't think he himself would have remembered that afternoon if Er Tai didn't laughingly shove the newspaper clippings with the blurry papparazzi photos under his nose the next morning.

Xiao Yan was still talking. "Anyway, stop changing the topic. Come on, you have to go see it with me."

"Why? Get Zi Wei to go with you," Yong Qi shrugged.

"Hah! I think if I didn't live with Zi Wei, I would hardly see her, considering how she's always with Er Kang nowadays. I'm not sure what she sees him. But anyway, I want to go see it with you. Besides you've never taken me to the movies before." Somehow she managed to make this sound like he had committed some huge crime according to the law of dating.

"I've taken you to other places, what's so great about the movies?" he asked, still not really seeing her point in this entire argument at all.

"It's all about the experience, you know," she pouted. "And you are sorely lacking in this experience. Why are you so against it?"

"Maybe it's the fact that this is a distinctively female-targeted movie and I don't look forward to being recognised in female territory," he said.

"Well, the point is to try to blend in so people won't recognise you. As long as we go without the - you know - entourage, I think we can pull it off. Please?"

She was looking at him with those big eyes. He was fighting a losing battle, and he should had known from the beginning. He wasn't convinced that they would make it without anyone recognising them, but at least that in itself was a challenge.

"I'll go with you on one condition," he said finally.

Xiao Yan grinned. "What?"

"We are not taking public transport."

And to this condition, she laughed. "Oh believe me, as much as I love to simplify my life away from this all this glamour, public transport is not something I'm running back to any time soon. But can we take a car that isn't quite so...shiny?"

o0o0o0o0

They had gone to a morning screening of the movie on a weekday that neither of them had class, just to avoid the evening cinema crowd anyway. Consequently, no one really paid them any mind at the theatre, except the initially bored looking teen at the ticket and concessions counter, who instantly looked wide awake as soon as he recognised who they were but before he could scream the place down, announcing their presence to the world, it appeared that his manager had recognised them too, and had to sense to step in and shut him up. Yong Qi did manage to suppress his annoyance such a reaction, especially when Xiao Yan apparently found it amusing. He wondered when it would start to exasperate Xiao Yan too.

"So what did you think of the movie?" she asked when they had got into the car when it was over.

Yong Qi took a moment to contemplate how to answer this. After all, the star of the movie was her favourite actress, the one person she looked up to more than most people she knew in real life. But even that didn't make Xiao Yan prone to agree with and approve of _everything_ Zhao Wei did. Certainly, as much as Xiao Yan loved Zhao Wei, Yong Qi had numerous times witnessed her wrinkle her nose at the actress' choice of clothes for an event and she would be the first ask what on earth Zhao Wei had done to her hair and complain that she had no sense of style.

Yong Qi had only ever been exposed to He Jia's brand of fangirlism, where his little sister practically worshipped the ground Elijah Wood walked on and would proclaim every single one of Westlife's photo she ever laid her hands on as gorgeous, even if they looked absolutely hideous. So Xiao Yan's paradoxical ability to both love and still criticise her idol was rather new. With that in mind, it was probably safe to tell her his truthful opinion of the movie. She would be less likely to bite his head off, unlike He Jia who acted personally affronted when he declared he didn't like the Lord of the Rings movie.

"I got the sense that the movie was _meant _to make you feel sad and cry, but whether it actually achieved that is questionable. Kind of like how the play Romeo and Juliet itself is supposed to make you cry if you don't look into the fact that these are two teenagers who killed themselves after a two-day acquaintance. Of course, this movie isn't about two stupid teenagers who had only known each other for two days, but I don't know. The ending was just...weird."

"So you didn't like it?" Xiao Yan's voice didn't betray a hint of offense that he might not.

"I like it better than Green Tea, does that count?" he asked with a smile, refering to the first Zhao Wei movie they had watched together. It was possibly the most boring movie he had ever subjected himself too, and even Xiao Yan, with all her love for her idol, could not bring herself to say that the movie was interesting.

Xiao Yan laughed at his comparison of the two movies and then said, "I guess both this movie and Green Tea have all that artsy element that apparently she's so into right now. In a way, that's what I like about her, that she doesn't throw herself into commercial movies, no matter how badly her work does at the box office, but at the same time, I wish she would be in a movie that I can genuinely say I like. I suppose I like tha authentic feel of the time period of this one, but there's something about the pacing of it that doesn't really convince me. I _want_ to like it, but I can't honestly say I do."

"So Close was a sort of commercial movie," Yong Qi said. It was rather sad, really, that ever since he knew Xiao Yan, he could tick off each and every one of the movies and dramas that Zhao Wei had been in. No one so not a fan of her should _not_ be so knowledgeable. But as Zhao Wei was the one thing that Xiao Yan let herself splurge on, she owned a DVD of everyone of the movies, even the ones that she would never watch more than once, like Green Tea.

She wrinkled her nose. "Yeah but I don't like action."

Yong Qi laughed. "You can't win, Xiao Yan. And honestly if you don't like her art movies, you don't like her commercial movies and you don't like her fashion, I wonder why you like her at all."

"I suppose I admire her strength and her integrity," she said. "At least, she gives the impression of that. I really don't think everyone would be able to get pass that huge scandal and move on and still finds success like she does. She does make mistakes, you know, and I'm glad she's passed that love sick stage of smoking and drinking. Anyway, I guess what I admire her most about her is that she doesn't let her failures become her obstacles. In my entire life, I can't really say I've really failed at anything and I'm just afraid when that does come, I might not be able to get over it."

Their conversation had definitely taken a different turn, but fear of failure was something that Yong Qi understood all too well. When you grew up with the whole country, if not the whole world, looking into your life, success was a demand and failure became something like a sin. But he, at least, had always had the assurance that his family would be there to catch him if he ever stumbled and fell. Until now, Xiao Yan probably had little of that comfort.

He reached over to take her hand, but she had long since mistrusted his driving enough that sometimes he wondered why she still allowed him to drive her anywhere at all. She simply glared at him until he return his hand to its place at the steering wheel with a teasing smile. Then, returning to the topic at hand, he said more seriously, "I know how you feel, you know, but you do have to fall before you can walk. You can't hope that it won't ever happen or alternatively wait for it to happen and then promptly run away from it. The only way it would not be an obstacle is to face it."

"That's what I don't know whether I can do," she replied. Xiao Yan rarely let herself sound so vulnerable, and Yong Qi was almost surprised at how swiftly that vulnerability came when just moments earlier, they had been talking about something completely different.

"I think once you make yourself think about the possibility, there comes a time when the idea of it does not sound so scary anymore. At least, that is what I have learnt to do. What with everyone in this country just waiting for me to fail, I don't think I'll ever get through the days if I didn't do that. It's not so bad, you know, to fall, if you know there's something to catch you. And I'll always be there."

He turned for a moment to look at her, letting her see the sincerity of his words in his eyes. And she, miraculously, didn't tell him to turn his eyes back onto the road. It was, perhaps, fortunate that the exchange between them had only taken a second and it was not a busy road. He turned to concentrate on driving again, but not before he had caught a glimpse of the smile that lighted up her face, which was verbalised only by a soft, but heartfelt, "I know."

0o0o0o0o0o

"Where are we going?" Yong Qi asked a little while later, when he finally realised that he had been driving with no apparent destination because Xiao Yan had a place in mind for them to have lunch but failed to tell him where it was.

"Just drive," she said vaguely.

Whenever they went out to eat, they invariably went to one of two places: a restaurant with private dining rooms or Hui Bin Lou, where Xiao Yan had worked before, and still remained good friends with its owners, the brother and sister Liu Qing and Liu Hong. Yong Qi never minded this, as the food was good and Liu Qing and Liu Hong never acted like he was from another planet.

Yet today, Xiao Yan had a different idea. Yong Qi drummed his fingers against the steering wheel impatiently she refused to be explicit. He didn't like the feeling that he had no idea where he was going, even if he had been doing that for at least fifteen minutes, just driving in the general direction of the palace, which Xiao Yan didn't see the need to redirect him somewhere else. "Will you at least just tell me what street we're going to so that I have some sort of point of reference and can just get us there without you having to direct me?" he asked, looking over at her when they stopped at the next red light.

"I cant remember actual name street the place is on, I just know its near Bei Wa Lu."

"At least thats a direction," Yong Qi muttered.

Fifteen minutes later, Yong Qi went through another new experience in his life, after his first time at an actual movie theatre: having to find a parking space. Per Xiao Yan's request to take a car that was not quite so shiny, he had borrowed Er Tai's car, which had the advantage of not having a government license plate. It also had the disadvantage that no one would give up their parking space for him.

"So where are we eating?" Yong Qi asked as they stepped out of the car.

"There."

He stared incredulously at the golden arch.

"Suning?" he asked, indicating the electronic appliances building that towered in front of them.

"No," Xiao Yan rolled her eyes, pointing to the sign next to the yellow Suning arch. "the hotpot restaurant."

Yong Qi's amazement didn't abate as he noticed the sign that read Hai Di Lao Hotpot. "We're having hotpot? Xiao Yan, it's, like, 35 degrees."

"It's the best hotpot you'll ever have in your life. Or so I've heard."

"You've heard?" he ask dubiously, stowing the car keys away into his pocket as Xiao Yan grabbed his other hand and they began to walk towards the entrance of the restaurant.

"Well, my friend Han Xiang ate here once and she fairly raved about it, not just the food but the setting itself. I peeked in there once when I was around here and it really did look beautiful inside and I've always wanted to try it."

"And you didn't because?"

"Well, it's not really that expensive considering the setting and if the food is good but eating out wasn't exactly an option before for me, was it?"

Yong Qi teased, "So now you're making me take you here basically because I can afford it?"

"Yeah, basically," she replied with a smirk. "But it's supposed to be good, so hopefully it will be worth the money."

0o0o0o0o0o

An employee of the hotpot restaurant, dressed in a black uniform and green apron, met them at the entrance and showed them to lift, pressing the button of the right floor for them.

"Please have a nice meal, Miss, Your Highness," the waiter said with utmost politeness just as the door of the lift was closing.

"So he did recognise us," Yong Qi said in wonder as soon as they were alone in the lift.

"You're surprised, because?"

"Not surprised that he recognised us, but that he didn't, you know, scream the place down."

Xiao Yan smiled. "I think this restaurant is looking good already, just for that."

0o0o0o0o0o

Yong Qi's first impression of the restaurant was that it was very red. Granted, he knew this entire country was obsessed with red as a lucky colour, but was it necessary to have the whole walls and ceilings covered in such a shiny red colour? And was that a heart-shaped chandelier?

"This place reminds me of a bridal chamber," Yong Qi laughed.

"Red is supposed to be a colour that encourages the appetite, you know," Xiao Yan replied. "Red and yellow. Hence the colours for McDonalds."

A waitress, dressed in the same uniform and green apron as the waiter they met downstairs, approached them. After learning that they wanted a table for two, informed them that they were, at the moment, full and did not have a free table for two and they would have to wait.

"You were saying something about looking good?" Yong Qi whispered quietly to Xiao Yan.

She simply shrugged, looking entirely unperturbed. "Well, it is lunch time. Itd do you good to have to wait for something every once in a while."

The waitress was leading them, instead to the waiting area, which looked more like a cross between a library and cafe. Cushioned chairs were arranged around little lacquered tables, and near them were a few elegant book shelves filled with a surprising variety of reading materials and board games. A row of computers, complete with headsets and webcams lined one of the walls.

While both of them looked around the waiting area in amazement, the waitress continued speaking. "Please, have a seat. I'm terribly sorry you will have to wait, but we will have your table ready as soon as possible. Meanwhile, theres the computer with internet access if you want to use it. Otherwise feel free to enjoy the books and board games we have here. While you wait, were happy to provide you with snack and drink. Would you like a manicure and shoe shining while you wait?"

"Seriously?"

"Yes, we have a manicure table just over there." She pointed to the small table in the corner, where, sure enough, a young girl was having her nails done by an employee of the restaurant. The table was possibly the most colourful thing in the entire room, lined with tiny bottles of nail polish in every colour possible, and a board of painted fake nails ready to be glued on, or samples of nail designs. They looked like extremely elegant and shiny versions of M&M. If Xiao Yan believed she could take care of her nails so that such a beautiful design would not be chipped within an hour of her leaving that manicure table, this would surely had been like heaven and she would have certainly took up on the restaurant's offer of a free manicure. But as she had never managed to kill the habit of biting her nails, it was probably better to not distress the nail artist with the state of her fingers.

As for the offer of a shoe shine, Yong Qi would probably never be caught dead with shoes that needed shining, so they settled at a table, being piled with drinks and snacks and over a board of weiqi.

"You know, this place had better be really good, considering we do have to wait," Yong Qi said. "Though I do have to admit, they certainly know how to treat customers. Even if we never get a table, I'm sure we'll somehow be full from these peanuts anyway."

"Han Xiang _said_ it's really good," Xiao Yan said again. "And she can be really picky about food, not just whether it's hallal or not. I think she was really amazed that she found somewhere that served hallal food and it was good."

0o0o0o0o0o

Yong Qi and Xiao Yan had not gone long into their weiqi match before the waitress approached them again and told them their table was ready.

They were shown to a table that first looked like any ordinary hotpot table, with a hole in the middle of the table where the pot of broth would sit. As soon as they had sat down, however, the waitress handed them each a red apron to protect their clothes and draped a protective cloth over Xiao Yan's handbag which sat in the seat next to her. As Xiao Yan contemplated how hot it would get later with the boiling broth in front of her and she had no elastic band to pull her hair back with, it was as if the waitress read her mind. She handed Xiao Yan a hairband and both Xiao Yan and Yong Qi each a small plastic pouch to put their mobile phones in so that it would not get wet if any broth splashed about. Next, came the hot towels for them to clean their hands and faces. All this was done as if it was the most natural things in the world, and without even a word of request from either of them. Xiao Yan saw that even Yong Qi, who surely was used to restaurants of impeccable service, was amazed and impressed at the thoughtfulness of this restaurant.

While all this was taking place, the broth had been left to boil between them and the waitress handed them the menu so that they could choose their hotpot ingredients. Yet after they had ordered, the first thing they brought out was not anything to be put into the hot pot, but a plate of watermelon that looked obviously fresh from the fridge.

"Isn't it kind of counterproductive to put fruit that's just been out of the fridge right next to a hotpot?" Xiao Yan wondered quietly to Yong Qi but choose not to question the restaurant's logic in this arrangement, because they seemed efficient enough in other matters.

0o0o0o0o0o

"Ok that was creepy," Xiao Yan said, staring at her glass of tea, hardly believing her eyes.

"What?" Yong Qi asked, looking up from the text message he was reading on his phone.

Xiao Yan pointed at the glass. "My tea. It was just half empty, I turned around for a second and it's full now. Did you see her filling it?"

"No."

"Is it possible to be too efficient?" she wondered.

0o0o0o0o0o

Apparently, the answer to that question, was yes, it _was_ possible to be too efficient.

"Please, let me," the waitress walked swiftly over before Xiao Yan could quite touch the bowl of vegetables.

Xiao Yan's hand froze just an inch from the bowl, she hesitated a little but then put her hand down as the waitress took up her serving chopsticks and expertly dropped some of the vegetable in the boiling broth. Xiao Yan looked at Yong Qi across the table with wide, astonished eyes. It seemed that just when she thought the service couldnt get any better, the restaurant made it their business to prove her wrong.

They waited till the waitress had returned to her place in a corner of the room before speaking.

"I have been waited on hand and foot many times, but I have to say this is the first time that I go to eat hotpot and have someone put the food in the broth for me," Yong Qi said, his voice laced with amazement. "Isn't the general point of hotpot is to serve yourself?"

"Apparently not here."

"I'm starting to get the feeling if we _want_ to serve ourselves here, we're going to have to do it while they're not looking," Yong Qi said, only half joking.

Whilst the idea of self-serving when the waiters and waitresses were not looking sounded easy and plausible, in reality, it was not, especially when you were trying to pick up slippery noodles with equally slippery chopsticks. The waitress clearly saw that Xiao Yan was struggling with getting the uncooperative noodle, which, just a few moments before, was just pulled into strips right before her eyes, into her bowl. She promptly went over to take over the job, and this only made Xiao Yan feel somewhat incompetent. After the waitress had gone, Xiao Yan asked the question that had been nagging at her since the beginning of the meal, "Do you think they'd actually spoon feed you if you asked?"

Yong Qi, who had watched the whole exchange with amused eyes, said, "If the answer was yes, I don't think I'd be surprised."

0o0o0o0o0o

"So why do you like Zhao Wei so much?" Yong Qi asked as they ate. "Because she is, after all, an actress, so you must have started on that. You've proclaimed dislike for most of her movies and dramas that you've ever seen and yet you own practically all of them."

Xiao Yan smiled, because she hardly knew the answer to that herself. It was a love affair that had begun so suddenly that she never really figured out what about Zhao Wei that held her on for all this time. She had liked other singers and actors and such before, but never with such intensity and for such an amount of time, and never with the same protectiveness. Any other people would be happy that newspapers would print gossip about their favourite actress, since that would bring news of said actress. But every time Xiao Yan saw a rumour concerning Zhao Wei, she felt indignant, affronted on her behalf that the newspapers would invade her privacy so, regardless of whether the rumours were true or not. Now that she herself was often under the watch of the press, she had often resisted the urge to demand the newspapers take down papparazzi photos of Zhao Wei as well as of herself.

"It's not very reasonable, I know that," she told Yong Qi. "It just takes one drama for me to love her, and I will love her for that, no matter how much I may or may not enjoy her next work. Obviously we have very different taste in the movies that she appears in - or maybe she just looks at it from the actress' point of view and I from the audience's. But you can't deny that no matter what she does afterwards, no matter how successful or unsuccessful her work is, she will still always be remembered for that first role. But there's something about her character, or at least the sense that I get from reading her interviews, that make me like her, more as a person than an actress. I'm probably projecting all my ideals into that mental image I have of her as a person. Maybe that's why I'm still a little reluctant to actually meet her. In a way it might be like how you support Tottenham."

"I'm not sure how you come up with that but only you could bring up a comparison between Premier League football and Zhao Wei," Yong Qi chuckled.

"You have to admit there are similarities," Xiao Yan said mischievously. "I love Zhao Wei more for herself rather than any of her work. Your Tottenham Hotspurs are a decent team, but they don't win all their matches and don't necessarily make it far, but you don't flock to support ManU or Arsenal like other sane people and be assured that you would, most of the time, come out of a match being satisfied with a win. You put up with the frequent losses and draws but you still support them, but because the feeling of supporting them through all their ups and downs brings pleasure and you love them for that pleasure of seeing them."

Yong Qi simply laughed when she finished, amused at her impromptu analysis. "Xiao Yan, you're psychoanalysing my support for a football team. Believe me, my reason for supporting Spurs are not that lofty. The first time I went to see a Premier League match, it was at the home of the Spurs, and thats's why I support them. That's all."

To Xiao Yan, this was simply another similarity and she told him so. "So they're the first team you watched, while Wei is the first actress that ever moved me so totally with a performance."

"Still, regardless of how badly her movies do at the box office, Zhao Wei is probably by comparison more successful in showbiz than the Spurs are successful at the League."

"True," she conceded. "But similarities I pointed out still stand."

"If I agree with you on that point," Yong Qi suddenly said with a smirk, "would you agree to go see a football match with me next time we go out considering I agreed to go see your movie?"

She laughed. "Yong Qi, I understand as little about football as I do about quantum physics when I watch you play, what do you think watching a bunch of random guys I have never heard of play will be like? I would go, if you put it that way, but unlike you who could actually appreciate a movie with me, I wouldn't be able to appreciate the match with you. You'd be wishing I was Er Tai or Er Kang or one of your brothers pretty soon."

Yong Qi only just managed to muffle his laughter before he drew attention to their table. He replied, still laughing, "Believe me, Xiao Yan, there will never be a time when I wish you to be either Er Tai or Er Kang, and especially not any of my brothers."

0o0o0o0o0o

"You were gone so long, I had expected you to come back with makeup on and in a different change of clothes or something," Yong Qi said dryly as Xiao Yan finally made it back from her trip to the restroom.

"You wouldn't think this place was so massive but it is!" Xiao Yan answered. "It's like a maze. I asked one of the waiters where the bathroom was and he basically said this: Turn right, then turn left, then turn right again. I half expected him to tell me to stop at a traffic light or something!"

Yong Qi craned his neck from their table to look around the corner of the restaurant. "It can't be that big. It doesn't look that big from the outside."

"Try and turn that corner and go wander off a bit and see if you can find your way back. I almost couldn't. Though the bathroom was worth the trip."

"That's too much information."

"No, I mean, really, it _looked_ beautiful. It felt like a hotel lobby."

Yong Qi shook his head at her seemingly foolish statement. "Xiao Yan, you're talking about a _bathroom_."

"You go check it out and tell me it's not gorgeous," Xiao Yan insisted, recalling the strangest restroom she had ever been to. "And I'm not sure what's in the men's bathroom, but yes I could have put on makeup if I wanted to. They had a huge basket of it sitting outside by the mirror for free use. And if you think the waitress fighting to put your veggies in your hotpot for you is weird, it's weirder to wash your hand and turn around and there's someone right behind you handing you the paper towel. She was literally pressing the paper towel in my hand. It was kind of scary to turn around and there's someone inches away from your face."

0o0o0o0o0o

"They must have put this in a freezer or something. The watermelon is still cool," Xiao Yan commented as she helped herself to the second slice of watermelon while Yong Qi called for the bill. The watermelon should be lukewarm after sitting next to a hotpot for well over an hour. Instead, it was pleasantly cool.

When the bill arrived, Yong Qi simply stared at it for a couple of seconds, making Xiao Yan, for that many seconds, feel a little something like panic. "That much?"

"No. The question would be, that's it?" he replied. "It's not the cheapest meal I've ever had, but considering the ambience and the service, I'd expected a lot more than this."

Xiao Yan grabbed the bill from him and looked at the sum at the bottom. "You think this is too little?" she asked incredulously. "You have a skewed sense of price."

They always disagreed whether a certain price for something was expensive, or cheap, or a good price, but that was never a surprise for Yong Qi. For Xiao Yan, anything over what she considered to be "student price", was expensive, and for Yong Qi, anything under what he considered "first class price" was cheap. That left a rather wide margin to argue whether whatever they were paying for was worth the amount being paid. It was an unavoidable result of the amount of money - or lack of - that they both grew up with. Even though they had managed to somehow reached a middle ground where Xiao Yan understood that he was far from taking the money he had for granted, and he stopped finding it strange that she would feel guilty to have him pay for anything for her, the issue inevitably still crop its way up from time to time.

Seeing as she had insisted on paying for the movie ticket and popcorn, however, Yong Qi was satisfied that he would be left to handle the restaurant bill. At times he could not understand why, of all issues, Xiao Yan had to pick to be so Westernised about splitting the cost of everything, and would not just let him be a normal boyfriend and pay for everything.

0o0o0o0o0o

0o0o0o0o0o

_A/N: There's a very long author's note on this chapter in my blog (link in my author page under Homepage) that rambles on about Hai Di Lao Hotpot, my trip to Beijing and how I missed visiting Jing Yang Gong and Shu Fang Zhai. _

0o0o0o0o0o


	11. Kick Up the Leaves

**Kick Up the Leaves**

_Sometime in 2006_

The phone was ringing. Xiao Yan glanced at the caller ID, not really wanting to answer the call but knowing that he would let it ring until it stop and then call again if she didn't pick up. Sometimes this persistence was the most annoying thing about him. Mobile phones were like Pandora's box, she thought, potentially more trouble than it's worth. She flipped the phone open with a resigned sigh.

"Hi, sweetie," he said, sounding way too cheerful for Xiao Yan's present state and she suppressed another loud sigh.

"Hi."

Her voice was completely cold and unenthusiastic, so it was completely natural when there was a brief pause before Yong Qi' s worried voice rang out, "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, fine," she said somewhat sullenly.

"You don't sound fine."

Xiao Yan pressed her lips together and took a deep breath to stop herself from losing her temper, which was hanging on by a thread as it was. She didn't want to talk to him, she didn't want to pretend to listen to him and she certainly didn't want to explain anything at that moment, to anyone.

"I'm fine," she repeated, trying very hard not to grit her teeth. "What is it?"

"Where are you?"

"Home."

She had hoped that answer was enough for him to stop the conversation, but it was not. "Already? I thought you were going to wait for me to drive you home."

"I was tired and just walked home. Sorry I didn't tell you."

"Are you sure you're ok, Xiao Yan?"

She knew he was rightfully concerned about her listless tone, but her patience for the conversation was wearing out. The more she stayed on the phone with him and listened to his voice, the more she was forced to think of why she was so irritated that day. So finally, to stop herself from saying things she completely would regret, she snapped "Yes!" at him through the phone before forcing it shut. If it was ungrateful for the concern he was showing, she would have to deal with it and feel guilty later. Right now, she wished for everything to stop – the thoughts, the feelings, and the world.

She wanted to bury herself in the thick blankets, but the temperature was unusually warm for that time of year and she only managed to nearly suffocate herself. She was half-afraid he would call back, but the phone stayed silent. Still, she could not be relieved. She knew he would come looking for her; normally it would be so easy to avoid him - she could go out with her friends, the ones he usually didn't hang around with, hide in Hui Bin Lou with Liu Qing and Liu Hong who would probably let her blend in, but he would probably know to find her there, or heck, she could just go somewhere by herself.

However, the very idea of setting one foot out of doors that day was terrifying and she couldn't stand it, so waiting for him to find her here was probably the lesser of the two evils, even if he would ask her what was wrong and would not stop until it probably exploded in an argument.

Sure enough, half an hour later, he was in her room, though she was sprawled on the bed, faced down and not looking at him. She could feel him sit down beside her and kiss her hair. "Come on, tell me what's wrong."

She flipped onto her back and looked up at him with angry tears. "Why does anything have to be wrong? Maybe I just need some space, maybe I just don't want to see you for one day!"

He stared at her with eyes full of hurt, then said slowly, "I see."

Only he would say, "I see" in such a tone after that outburst and make her feel a thousand times worst. Only he could make her feel like the world's biggest jerk for having these feelings. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. Guilt was creeping into her heart but she beat it back.

The feeling of being drowned in something enormous was taking over her, making her totally incapable of coherent thoughts. She didn't want these rational feelings like guilt to barge in while she was unable to think rationally. She wasn't even sure what she was overwhelmed with but there was something about that day that had triggered all those feelings, like there was an enormous weight on her shoulders and she could not shake them off.

She didn't want to deal with being considerate of Yong Qi right now.

When she said nothing more, he stood up and was half-way to the door before he turned back and said, "When you have enough space and feel like talking to me again, you can call me."

Well, she always knew that he was capable of matching her temper with his own. This time he could match her coldness as well.

So it wasn't an argument. It was worst.

Xiao Yan stared at the ceiling and listened to the sound of his feet on the wooden floor and to the sound of the door closing with a final click. She turned over again and buried her face in a pillow, and promptly burst into tears.

That was more or less how Zi Wei found her a little while later. She had stopped crying, but wasn't feeling any less depressed, and therefore had once again tried to hide from her feelings in the blanket again.

"What's wrong with you and Yong Qi _now_?" Zi Wei asked.

She gave her friend an insulted look at her emphasis on the word 'now'. She hadn't told Zi Wei that something was wrong between her and Yong Qi, her friend had simply guessed after she skipped dinner and seemed determined to lock herself up in her room until forever. Apparently, Zi Wei was capable of guessing Xiao Yan's trouble and as usual, she was too astute at it. Xiao Yan was not at all thankful, because she didn't want to talk to Zi Wei about it either.

The slightly weary tone of Zi Wei's voice didn't help Xiao Yan feel better; it only made it seem like her feelings were somehow wrong. Xiao Yan knew that Zi Wei felt a bit bewildered at her and Yong Qi's ability to bicker every other week, and normally Xiao Yan just laughed it off. She couldn't do that today. If Zi Wei was going to express her exasperation, then maybe she should have pretended not to notice, or not to care.

"Maybe some of us just can't be as lovey-dovey as you an Er Kang. Maybe some of us have limits and want to not care every once in a while. Maybe some of us want a break!" Xiao Yan yelled.

Zi Wei stared at her in shock; it was not unlike the hurt look Yong Qi had given her earlier. "What has gotten _into_ you?"

Xiao Yan should be able to see that the question was natural for the situation, but she was not in a reasonable mood at all, so the question only managed to make her lose her temper totally. "Will you just stop asking me that?"

"I've only just asked you _once!_" Zi Wei said. "Really, Xiao Yan, whatever is wrong, you don't have to take your anger out on me!"

Neither of them spoke to each other again for the rest of the day.

* * *

The night was anything but peaceful. Xiao Yan woke late the next morning, a Saturday, feeling even more tired and drained than the day before. Sleep had done nothing for her. She was too tired, therefore, to think rationally about the exhausting day before. There was a tiny part of her that wanted to call Yong Qi, but pride was holding that part hostage deep inside her heart. So she didn't call Yong Qi. She called, instead, Qing Er.

"How did you_ do_ it?" she wailed into the phone as soon as Qing Er picked up, not waiting for a greeting.

"Xiao Yan?" her sleepy voice came through from the other end. That was when Xiao Yan realised it was three in the morning in England and that she was making an international call from mobile phone to mobile phone.

"I'm sorry, I've woke you up," she said. She was slightly deflated at the realisation, though she still wanted more than anything to talk to Qing Er. It felt as if Qing Er was the only who would understand the feelings even Xiao Yan herself couldn't decipher at that moment.

"It's ok," Qing Er said, though she sounded half-asleep still. "What's going on?"

Xiao Yan was at least thankful that she didn't ask, "What's wrong?" She didn't think she could take that question.

"No, go back to sleep, sorry."

"Xiao Yan, it must be something for you to call me at – " There was a pause when Qing Er obviously checked the clock – "three oh nine in the morning and not realise it. I'm awake now anyway, what is it?" There was a rustling noise when Xiao Yan imagined that Qing Er was sitting up in bed; she was definitely starting to sound more alert now.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's Saturday anyway, Xiao Yan and you sound pretty upset. What happened?"

Xiao Yan pondered for a moment, wondering how she could possibly put everything that she was feeling the day before into words. In the end, she only managed a vague question. "How did you deal with it all?"

"With what?"

When she picked up the phone to call Qing Er, Xiao Yan had no idea what she would say to explain how she was feeling. Now, knowing that on the end of the line was potentially someone who would sympathise with her, all her feelings flowed out in a flood of words.

"The press, the attention, the expectations, the scrutiny, _everything_! Yesterday, I just couldn't stand the very idea of being out of doors or being seen with Yong Qi, by anyone. I don't want to know that every time we appear somewhere together, people are going to look twice. Some days I just want to blend in and disappear but no matter how absurdly easy that was _before_, now it's _impossible_. And I can't stand it! After pulling an all-nighter for an assignment, I don't _want _to have to think that, oh, I've better look decent coming into to an eight o'clock lecture because someone might just take a photo of me and sell it some paper and they'd put it on the front page for the world to see and it will haunt me for the rest of my life if I don't look good. I really want to think I'm not vain, Qing Er, but somehow they always just manage to make everything worst. I don't want to be out in the streets with perfectly normal people and for a small moment feel like everything is ordinary and then have to catch sight of myself at some news-stand. I know I'm whining but sometimes it just makes me so tired and yet Yong Qi just makes it seem like it's so easy and then I feel like an incompetent fool for not being able to take it like he does."

She took a deep breath and angrily brushed away the tears that had managed to make their way down her cheeks without her permission. She was glad, at least, that three o'clock in the morning or not, Qing Er let her talk and didn't interrupt.

"Oh Xiao Yan."

Her voice was blissfully comforting and sympathetic, so much that Xiao Yan wished Qing Er was actually here to hug her. Holding the phone in place between her shoulder and her ears, she reached out for a stuffed panda and hugged it to herself instead. Yong Qi had given her the panda, but that didn't matter at the moment. There was a pause when neither of them talked, as Qing Er obviously pondered at what else to say. Xiao Yan took the opportunity to calm her breathing so that she could become coherent enough to listen.

"I guess…I guess the truth is," Qing Er said slowly, obviously weighing her every word, "Yong Qi grew up with this and I sort of did, too, so we are used to it. He hates it, but he had had time to accept that it's never going to go away. You shouldn't beat yourself up for struggling at the deep end. It's just something that is going to take time, years even, for you to get used to. I know it's not something nice to hear right now but it's the truth."

"I know," Xiao Yan answered wearily, resting her cheek on the panda's comforting, soft belly. "I know. I guess I just want it to stop and to know that it won't just sort of made something snap."

"You know you always have Yong Qi to get you through it, right?"

Maybe it was because Qing Er was half way across the world, and she couldn't see Xiao Yan, but somehow she felt less annoyed at this suggestion of depending on Yong Qi than she expected. She only answered truthfully, "We're not speaking at the moment."

"Because?"

Qing Er didn't sound very surprised at the revelation. It made Xiao Yan wonder how much Yong Qi actually talked to Qing Er about them, and how much Qing Er knew about how often they tend to not speak to each other. Had Qing Er known about this and anticipated this phone call (though probably not at three in the morning)? But even Yong Qi had no idea what had angered Xiao Yan the night before, so he probably couldn't possibly know that Xiao Yan would want to talk to Qing Er about it.

"I – I needed to vent yesterday and, well – " She didn't want to admit she was wrong just yet, it just made her temper tantrum become so pointless. Qing Er could probably guess, nonetheless.

"Did you tell him what you just told me?"

How could she have told him what she just told Qing Er? If she could tell him what she told Qing Er, she wouldn't be having his conversation with Qing Er in the first place.

"No, he wouldn't understand anyway." The words sounded bitter to her and she wondered whether she truly believed it. If she did, what was she doing here, really?

"How do you know that? Has he ever done anything to prove to you that he would not be understanding of your feelings?" Qing Er's voice was soft and neutral, but Xiao Yan could tell that there was a reproof hidden in all the words. It should make her angry, her anger was over from the night before.

"I guess not," she admitted with a sigh. She had been anything but rational the night before, and she knew now, the idea that "he might not understand" had simply been an excuse. She was too frustrated and angry to speak to him, or to anyone. To admit this was simply admitting she had been totally unfair to him; it was something she couldn't deal with last night. Now, in the light of day, she knew Qing Er was right: he hadn't done anything for her to shun him as she did.

Before she could admit this, however, Qing Er was speaking again. "Besides, if you think he would not understand, what makes you think I would?"

"I don't know." It was the truth. Xiao Yan wasn't entirely sure why she had called Qing Er that morning. She certainly didn't plan it from the night before because if it was planned, she would have picked a more opportune time. The call had been a compulsion, an impulse. She was somehow convinced the only one who would understand and be on her side was Qing Er. "Because you were me once?"

Xiao Yan could imagine that Qing Er was smiling as she said, "I was never you, Xiao Yan. Really. I grew up with him and around his family, I was never just dropped into the deep water and expect to swim like you were. But I can understand what you're going through, and why, and I think Yong Qi would too. You just have to tell him. He might not automatically guess what's distressing you because for him, it's all a part of his life that by now he'd taken for granted, but I think if you tell him he'd understand your frustrations."

He would understand, but somehow that was even more reason for Xiao Yan to not tell him of her frustration in this matter, and she told Qing Er so.

"Why wouldn't you want to tell him?" Qing Er exclaimed in surprise. "If he would understand and sympathise with you, why wouldn't you?"

Because Xiao Yan hated to be the clingy girlfriend who dumped all her problems on him, who wouldn't shut up about things he couldn't possibly change. "Because then it seems like I'm complaining about being with him," she said.

Qing Er didn't answer right away, and Xiao Yan almost thought she might have fallen asleep. "Are you still there?"

"Yeah. I was just thinking. I guess I understand where you're coming from, not wanting to bother him. But seriously, Xiao Yan, it's not going to go away just because you don't want to complain, as you say, to Yong Qi about it. There will be days when it's almost bearable and there will be days when it's frustrating like this, but if you can't share the worst days with the good days then aren't you wasting your time?"

"What do you mean?"

"Let's face it, Xiao Yan, you're not dating a normal guy. You're not dating him without the intent of this going somewhere. But if you're going to not talk to him every time it gets frustrating then no matter how much you love him, it's not going to work. It will get frustrating, a lot and it's only going to be worst from here on out. And seeing the two of you together, I know you do love him."

Xiao Yan gave a sigh and pondered about Qing Er's words. She had to admit there was a point. After all, they both knew where they were heading with this relationship. They both knew where he wanted this relationship to end up – the whole world probably knew and expected it. She didn't want to put her own expectation on him on top of everyone else's, which is why they haven't really talked about it. Perhaps that wasn't the best of plans, because talking about it would have required them to deal with problems like this. But she never wanted to think that there might other factors other than her own feelings which might decide whether it would work between them. He knew, however, he'd always knew, and he'd told her from the beginning: it would take a lot more than love for it to work between them.

"Why did you break up with him?" she asked finally.

Qing Er was quiet for a while, before saying slowly, "It wasn't that I couldn't deal with it. I could have, if I loved him enough, which I suppose I didn't."

"You didn't?"

Xiao Yan had never truly wondered about Yong Qi and Qing Er and why they broke up, but if she had, she didn't think she would have come up with such a reason. After all, they were close still, and if she hadn't already met Qing Er and saw the two of them together enough to be convinced that it was all platonic now, she would probably be jealous.

"Don't get me wrong, he's one of my best friends and I do love him, but not like that. When we started going out, it was more because people were pairing us together so much. And it wasn't that different from being friends. We were sixteen; it was all hormones, to be honest. I guess he thought I was pretty and he's good looking and that's probably all that mattered then. Then we were finishing high school and I was going to leave; we'd always knew this would happen, but then suddenly the whole world was expecting him to propose and neither of us wanted it. We were eighteen, for goodness's sake! But I think even if we were older we wouldn't be right for marriage either."

"So you broke up."

Xiao Yan understood that it can't be an easy subject for Qing Er to talk about, and it wasn't exactly comfortable for her to ask either, but Qing Er seemed to wait too long before answering. "No, not exactly because of that."

Qing Er was being evasive and it should have been normal, considering she was Yong Qi's ex and of course there might be things she would not want Xiao Yan to know. But seeing as it was Qing Er, the evasion was strange. Qing Er didn't wear her heart on her sleeves like Xiao Yan did and if she had not wanted to tell Xiao Yan the reason for her break up with Yong Qi, she would have said so.

"Let me put it this way," she said after another long silence, "I currently don't have a boyfriend. I've only gone out with a couple of guys here and it was never serious. But I'm not a virgin."

"Ah. I knew that."

"Oh good," Qing Er laughed nervously. "I was kind of afraid I was going to reveal some deep dark secret he was trying to keep from you."

"Not exactly."

She had known this from a conversation they had long ago. To say the information had broken her heart would have been an exaggeration. After all, he had done nothing wrong to her and it was hard surprising, considering how long he and Qing Er were together.

"So did he tell you or did you ask?" Qing Er asked.

Xiao Yan laughed, "Have you ever met any decent guy who would volunteer to tell his girlfriend such information?"

"I guess not. Anyway, I think both of us somehow felt it was something that would just happen sooner or later. It was at the end of my farewell party and to be honest both of us were a bit tipsy. The next day we both knew it was completely wrong decision and that neither of us really felt that kind of feeling for each other. I left for England the day after that and basically we didn't communicate for a month. Literally. I think the time apart allowed me to think about why I was with him in the first place. We fell into the pressure of the situation and of others' expectation than really wanting it. I sent him a really long email before I came home for the Christmas break. I think it took that long for both of us to realise that our relationship wasn't right and that what we missed wasn't the relationship, but the friendship we had before. It's a wonder that the friendship didn't just die straight with the relationship, but it didn't."

Xiao Yan didn't answer right away and Qing Er seemed happy to keep the silence going. She had been extraordinarily honest and Xiao Yan couldn't help but appreciate it. She supposed the fact that they weren't face to face probably made it slightly easier to talk about.

"You dumped him by email?" She had not expected her first comment after such a frank answer to be this, but for some reason, this amused Xiao Yan much more than it should.

"I did not _dump_ him. He called me after getting the email and it was a mutual decision," Qing Er replied with mock dignity. Then more seriously, she continued. "Don't think he was heart-broken over it or anything because trust me, he was not. I came back for Christmas and we really decided and announced it then, knowing the fuss it would cause. It eventually died down. The papers like to speculate about us getting back together but really we both know it won't ever happen. No one ever really knew why we broke up, _maybe _Er Tai but I don't think they talk about that."

Xiao Yan thought for a while before finally getting to the point of Qing Er's tale. "So you weren't ever in love with him?"

"No," Qing Er said honestly. "I don't regret it, exactly, Xiao Yan, but we were really young and…stupid. We made some decisions that now looking back was foolish. Don't overthink this or anything, all right? I really am glad for the two of you, that is, when you start talking to each other again."

"I know," Xiao Yan sighed.

The whole conversation had managed to calm her more than she expected. But that was probably the most wonderful thing about Qing Er. She was inhumanly calm, sensible and honest, and somehow under that influence, you couldn't help but be sensible yourself. "I'm being a brat, aren't I?"

"Not necessarily," Qing Er said with a little laugh. "You are allowed to feel frustrated, Xiao Yan. I'd be surprised if you could take it in stride. Yong Qi can because he has to, but that doesn't mean he's not annoyed with it all or that he wouldn't understand what you're feeling."

"I won't ever be able to take it in stride, I don't think. No matter how long I work at it."

Qing Er thought for a moment before replying, "Then you have to decide whether you love him enough."

"I know."

Both of them held the line in contemplative silence for a couple of moments until Xiao Yan gave a last sigh. "Thanks Qing Er. I'll shut up and let you sleep now. I'm really sorry for waking you. I really forgot."

"It's all right. I'm on holiday, I can sleep whenever. Let me know when things are all right between you and Yong Qi again, yeah?"

"Yeah, thanks again. Really."

"Hey, Xiao Yan, I'm your friend too, you know."

"I know. Bye."

"Bye."

She hung up the phone, feeling like some of the enormous weight had been lifted from her. She hugged the panda to herself again, feeling now like she was hugging Yong Qi. Of course, the panda looked absurdly unlike Yong Qi. It was mostly white, with black arms and legs, and a black band around its middle. Its eyes were wide puppy-dog eyes, black and it had a cloth hyphen of a nose (or mouth, Xiao Yan wasn't sure). All in all, it had expression that was comically stupid, and it had been the thing that made Xiao Yan fell in love with it.

Now looking at the panda staring up at her with the wide, begging eyes, she resolved that she must find a way to make up to Yong Qi for the evening before.

* * *

A couple of hours later, Xiao Yan had got out of bed, had something that could be called brunch and found out that Zi Wei was out with Er Kang. When she turned on the computer and logged on to MSN Messenger, Yong Qi's username stared out at her from the top of her online list. So he was home, and his status showed that he was listening to the Quick and Snow Show on the radio. Glancing at the clock at the bottom of the screen, she saw that the show had just started and she had nearly an hour left. That should probably be enough time. She smiled to herself, pleased and quickly logged onto to the show's website. Ten minutes later, the message had been sent.

* * *

Turning on the show was a habit. It was a typical radio show for those their age and usually if Yong Qi managed to catch it he would listen to it as well, but never cared enough to remember the time when it would be on. However it was Xiao Yan's favourite music radio show so nowadays, more often than not, it would be playing in his car. Eventually he grew accustomed to it, actually managed to remember its schedule.

Today, the music calmed him and listening to other people's thoughts and emotions expressed through the gift messages and songs allowed him to escape from the frustration that Xiao Yan was since the day before. He was well aware that she had a temper and didn't shy away from picking fights with him; it wasn't that that bothered him. No, if anything, it was probably a good thing that she was comfortable with picking fights with him. He just hated it when weren't speaking to each other for no reason that he could comprehend.

The radio was playing Bad Day by Daniel Powter. How appropriate.

He scrolled through his MSN messenger list. Was Xiao Yan really offline or was she just appearing offline? He knew she had a habit of appearing offline to a lot of people, but rarely to him. She was more likely to appear offline to everyone and put up a huge Do Not Disturb sign and some amusing status to him if she didn't want him bothering her when she was doing assignments. It was their silly game that had somehow developed into a tradition.

Qing Er's account was surprisingly green. He glanced at the clock. Six o'clock on a Saturday, and Qing Er was already awake? Unlike Xiao Yan, Qing Er was not a morning person. He wondered what disaster happened that managed to get Qing Er out of bed at such an hour, especially when Yong Qi was sure she was on Easter break.

**Yong Qi:** Has the Judgement Day arrived?

**Qing Er: **What?

**Yong Qi: **You're awake at this hour, there's got to be an apocalyptic reason.

**Qing Er: **Yeah, you happened.

**Qing Er: **Xiao Yan called me at three in the morning.

**Qing Er: **To talk about you.

**Yong Qi: **Oh.

**Qing Er: **Hey? You there?

**Yong Qi: **So what did she say?

**Qing Er: **As if I would tell you.

**Qing Er: **But I will say this.

**Qing Er: **Don't be too angry at her.

**Qing Er: **She knows she's being irrational.

Yong Qi was at that moment distracted by what the DJ was saying on the radio:

_Hey everyone, we're back from the commercial break and it's Snow again. The next song is a request from a listener with username swallowpad dedicated to a listener whose phone number ends in '284' with the following message: _Hey baby, I'm really sorry for yesterday. I guess I'm making it a habit of taking my bad moods out on you. My bad mood wasn't because of you and I should have allowed you to cheer me up instead of shouting at you. I know I've been mean, don't be mad, okie? I love you lots. And I'm sorry for revealing part of your phone number on national radio.

**Yong Qi: **Hold on.

**Yong Qi: **Give me a couple of minutes.

_Swallowpad's profile says she's female, so Quick here is guessing the recipient is male. If the male friend is listening, Quick and Snow hope that he'll be moved by the very adorable apology and the two of you will soon be happy again. Everyone, take a listen to _I Knew I Loved You _by Savage Garden._

**Qing Er: **Are you listening to Q&S?

**Yong Qi: **Are you too?

**Qing Er: **Yes

**Yong Qi: **Shut up then!

**Qing Er: **Haha.

Yong Qi had to admit that he was surprised that Xiao Yan had been the one to take the initiative to make up after this argument (if it could even be called that), because he usually was the one to do this, regardless of who was wrong. However he couldn't help but be touched at the gesture and at the song, and couldn't hold back a smile as he listened to the music. It was a simple gesture, almost cliched, but it was precious because only she would think of doing something as normal as this for him. The song was probably a bit too idealistic but it was a song that they both liked and that was what that mattered.

**Yong Qi: **Did you tell her to do this?

**Qing Er: **Definitely not!

**Qing Er: **Is the song over?

**Yong Qi: **Yeah, is it not at your end?

**Qing Er**: One of the best universities in the world and their internet sucks. Only MSN is working, my Firefox froze as soon as the song started.

**Qing Er: **I should have known better than to livestream radio with this connection.

**Yong Qi: **If you didn't tell her to do this then why are you listening to Q&S at six in the morning in England?

**Qing Er: **She told me to listen. Why are you still talking to me?

**Yong Qi: **Good point.

**Yong Qi: **Bye

He could practically imagine the smirk Qing Er was wearing half-way across the globe.

**Qing Er: **Bye, Yong Qi.

Just as he logged off and was about to stand up, the door of his bedroom opened. There stood Xiao Yan looking as unglamorous as possible. Clearly whenever it was that she got out of bed that morning she just threw on the first thing available and had probably forgotten it. But somehow the sight of her in a messy pony tail, an old pair of jeans and a hoody made him smile.

She gave him a hopeful smile back. "Are you still mad at me?"

"If you're done biting my head off, then yeah."

They stood looking at each other across the room for a long moment until she started to laugh and it was contagious. Even when the laughter stopped, the smiles were still there, the tension had totally evaporated, and it was as if the day before didn't happen. She threw herself onto his bed with a contented sigh. He came to sit next to her and twirled a lock of her hair around his finger. She looked up at him, smiling.

"So did you listen?"

"Yes, and you know I did. Qing Er probably told you."

"How do you know that?"

"I can tell when someone's chatting with someone other than just me, Xiao Yan. There's a delay in the replies."

She raised herself up and wrapped her arms around his neck, brushing her nose lightly against his. "I - "

But he had prevented her from finishing the apology by kissing her.

* * *

"So why were you so upset yesterday or am I not allowed to ask that?"

"I don't even know. I think it's just the strress of the end of semester combined with everything else. I suddenly just couldn't stand the idea of being watched and stared at simply because I am with you. Of course it was never easy to face before but I made myself do it, you know? But for once, I wanted to be able to go out and not attract all the paparazzi in the district. I just wanted for one moment to be free of it all and I think that was when I realised that it would not stop. It wasn't anything that happened yesterday specifically, but just thinking about it on top of all the other stress...it made me want to have a break down, and so I guess I broke down and took it out on you." She paused for a moment. "And Zi Wei."

She was lying with her head on his lap and he reached out to take her hand. "I wish I could tell you that it will get better. But the truth is, this is the reality of it, and it's only something to deal with."

"I called Qing Er because I thought, oh, I don't know, that there may some guide book somewhere of dealing with it. But there's not, is there?"

"No. It's always part of my life, it's kind of how you can't choose your family, I couldn't choose to not have this. But you, you can choose, Xiao Yan."

She sat up and looked at him seriously, "I chose you and I don't _want_ to choose differently, Yong Qi. I'm just not sure I can deal with this."

He pulled her into a tight hug. "I wish I could protect you from this. I should be able to!"

"You shouldn't have to! I'm not that special, I'm nobody, why should anyone care?"

"You know that's not true, Xiao Yan. You're not nobody to me, you're special to me, and it makes all the difference. The longer we're together, and the more they are sure it is serious, the worst it will get."

She looked at the sorrowful expression on his face and felt the familiar frustrated feeling of the day before rising in her, but this time it wasn't frustration to be taken out on him, it was frustration for him, for them both. She was twenty-one years old, for Heaven's sake, this should be the carefree time of her life when she was supposed to be able to do stupid things and make mistakes and no one except those close to her should care! But no, the whole world would care even if she just wore a shirt that didn't match that skirt! She should be able to have a boyfriend without the world acting like it was the Middle Ages and she was acting absolutely indecent.

"It isn't fair," she said, knowing that she was whining again, but if she couldn't allow herself this luxury, she'd probably go mad.

"No it's not," Yong Qi said with a sigh. "I want you in my life, Xiao Yan, but you have to realise this is what it means, this is what will always be. I know I can't make them go easy on you, or make it disappear altogether, but you must now that I will always be beside you, if you want me by your side."

"I want you here," she said, "I just hope that I will find the strength somewhere to face it all."

* * *

When Zi Wei returned to Shu Fang Zhai later that day, she found Yong Qi and Xiao Yan on the couch, wrapped up in each other and watching a movie.

She flopped down next to them, startling them. "That was quick."

"What was?" Yong Qi asked.

"You're apparently talking to each other again."

Xiao Yan gave her a sheepish smile. "I was being stupid yesterday, all right? I'm sorry."

Zi Wei gave her friend a long pondering look. "Well, I suppose if _he'd _forgiven you then I have no choice but to do the same?"

"Not unless you really mean it." Xiao Yan gave her a puppy-eyed look, and Zi Wei couldn't help but burst out laughing at it.

"All right, all right, I mean it. Whatever it was you two were fighting about, apparently it was stupid enough for you to be as unreasonable as to take it out on me, but fine, I'll forgive you."

* * *

"It wasn't really that stupid," Xiao Yan told Zi Wei later. "Actually, it was only stupid on my part. I was feeling frustrated with the idea of the press and basically just blew up on Yong Qi and when you asked me, I was already feeling guilty for it so I took it out on you too."

"I guess that's a subject that's enough to make anyone capable of being unreasonably moody."

"I just don't understand, they leave you alone sometimes, but why not me?" she exclaimed in frustration.

"I guess after a while, I'm old news, and I'm not allowed to inherit the throne, so compared to Yong Qi I'm a lot less interesting and newsworthy now." Zi Wei was not at all sorry for the loss of the press' attention.

"It's not as if he's the only prince around," Xiao Yan grumbled.

"But he's the only one who's not married yet and has a serious girlfriend, so they're going to get all they can while they can. Just marry him and I have a feeling they'll start focusing on some potential girlfriend for Yong An or something."

"I always tell myself I would never get married any younger than twenty-five."

"Well, I really think that while you're neither engaged nor married, it's the uncertainty that excite the press, so they hound your every step. As soon as the path ahead of you is sure and predictable, they'll find some other uncertainty more attractive."

"Well, what can I do on that end? Ending the uncertainty is sort of his job isn't it?"

"Yes," Zi Wei smiled. "And I'm sure he'll ask, Xiao Yan. He just wants to give you time to be absolutely sure that this is what you want. For both your happiness, you would have to be very sure that you want this."

"It's not a question of my being sure," Xiao Yan sighed. "It's a question of whether I can survive it long enough to prove it to him that I am."


	12. Happy Birthday

Fluff and cliched fanfic concepts alert! Please forgive the fangirlishness of this!

* * *

**Happy Birthday**

**...in which Xiao Yan attempts to be an 'elegant female'**

* * *

_2007_

_June _

Yong Qi tipped the glass of wine lightly and turned it by its long stem, watching the red liquid swirl around. It was a good thing that he decided not to drive today as he rather needed the soothing effects of the Merlot while he waited for his guest. Then again, considering how nervous he was, it probably wouldn't matter whether he drank a glass or a whole bottle; in this state, he'd crash the car without a single drop of alcohol.

Glancing at the clock on the wall, Yong Qi assured himself that it was still slightly early so there was no point getting anxious. His guest was nothing if not punctual. It was simply his own nervousness that was making him restless. It was rather silly, really; if he was nervous _now_, how would he be feeling when the real time came? It was not as if he had much reason to worry, right?

At seven in the evening, right on the dot, the manager of the restaurant opened the door to the private dining room, to show in the guest, a middle aged man in a smart suit and carrying a briefcase. The man's name was Ou Yang Yu and he had been known to the Imperial Family for quite a long time. If Yong Qi wasn't sure of his discretion, this meeting would definitely not be taking place. Then again, Ou Yang Yu had his job precisely because he was discrete, as part of his job depended on making things that were not to be revealed until the very right moment.

"I apologise for being late, Your Highness," Ou Yang Yu said.

"You know as well as I that I am early, and you are on time, Mr Ou Yang," Yong Qi smiled.

The usual small talk filled up the time that it took for the waiter to appear with menus, pour Ou Yang Yu a glass of wine, refill Yong Qi's glass and for them to order their meals. Only when the waiter had disappeared, closing the door behind him that Ou Yang Yu turned to look at Yong Qi with a knowing smile, but still, he waited for the prince to begin the conversation. It was probably obvious to the older man why they were having this meeting; one only met with Ou Yang Yu for very specific items that Tiffany and co. could not offer. There was no point beating around the bush.

"I suppose I should just get right to it?"

"I am at your disposal, my Prince," Ou Yang Yu said, smiling.

"I need a ring." Yong Qi was trying to keep his expression neutral, but a smile was threatening to break onto his face. He knew this meeting would fill him with all sort of anticipation but he was not prepared for this level of excitement, knowing that he was about the confide in _someone _a secret that would have to be kept from the rest of the world a little while longer.

"Ah yes." That was all the response.

"An engagement ring," Yong Qi continued when his companion did not seem inclined to make any further comment.

"Yes," the Imperial Jeweler said, smiling wider now and looking quite like he was anticipating a very exciting gift. "I have been wondering when you'd approach me with this request."

"No, I don't suppose it's a surprise. I suppose you came prepared?"

"Of course, sir. Do you have any request? On the cut, or the gold, perhaps? The style?"

No doubt the man's impressive brain was already rushing through a dozen designs, ready to fill in the blanks with Yong Qi's request. There was no doubt that he would make a master piece of whatever Yong Qi asked for, so the prince did not hesitate in saying, "No diamond."

"No diamond?"

Yong Qi knew this particular request was probably rather disappointing to Ou Yang Yu, considering he specialised in diamonds, but this was the one point where there could be little negotiation. On any other aspect of the design, Yong Qi was willing to depend on the man's guidance and expertise, but not this. Still, Yong Qi felt obliged to explain this admittedly rather odd request, considering what he was ordering _was_ an engagement ring.

"Xiao Yan had professed on more than one occasion that she found it overused in an engagement ring." Of course, what Xiao Yan actually said was in reference to something else; she probably wasn't even thinking of her own engagement ring when she told Yong Qi this. It was not like Xiao Yan to hint, especially when it concerned taking their relationship further. However, it was precisely because she didn't mean it as a hint that made Yong Qi determined to tuck away that throwaway comment for future reference. He continued to speak when Ou Yang Yu simply reacted to this uncommon preference with a nod and a sip from the wine glass. "Perhaps leave that for a secondary stone in the wedding ring. But for the engagement ring, white gold, a pearl, I think, with emeralds."

"Yes, I think that would set off the pearl nicely," the jeweler said, reaching for his briefcase. "Perhaps I could show you some designs?"

"Yes, please."

Yong Qi grew up knowing that diamonds and emeralds were all within his reach, but that didn't mean he particularly paid attention to how they could be assembled in any kind of jewellery or what each gem meant. Yet it was this that made the meeting with Ou Yang Yu all the more interesting and oddly educational. The jeweler's love for each gemstone showed in the reverent tone he used to describe the meaning of each possible combination to Yong Qi. He only paused in his explanations long enough for the waiter to come in with their food and was otherwise so engrossed in his explanation that if Yong Qi had been less interested, he would probably had felt rather overwhelmed and annoyed. Still, Yong Qi was delighted to know that his almost arbitrary choices based on vague references Xiao Yan made at one time or other in their conversations actually created a rather moving message.

"These designs are, of course, just guides," Ou Yang Yu said towards the end of the evening, snapping his pen shut and shuffling the rough sketches in front of them. "I will put unique touches on it when I begin the work, of course."

"Yes, that would be great. If you could just email the design to me before you start."

"I think a smaller pearl would do fine, since it cannot be cut into shape. If it's too big, it will drown out the emeralds."

Yong Qi simply smiled and nodded, but was rather too lost in his thought to make a verbal reply. "Hmmm..."

"Sir?"

Yong Qi chuckled to himself before turning back to his guest. "I was just wondering what the press will say when they see it's not a diamond."

The other man smiled. "With any luck they won't realise it's an engagement ring and you can announce it in your own time. In any case, I will make the ring first, and if there's any adjustment that needs to be made to the size, you can always take it back to me, and then I would be able to use those measurements for the wedding set as well. I suppose you might want to wait for Miss Xia's input on the wedding set?"

The waiter reappeared then again with the bill, which Yong Qi grabbed before Ou Yang managed to. Their conversation about the ring paused while they had the obligatory argument about who would pay, an argument which Yong Qi won. He only spoke again when they were left waiting for the waiter to return with his credit card.

"Yes, I think so, let's wait on the wedding rings. I don't think she'd quite forgive me, or even say yes, if I have everything planned out before hands."

"I would like to be the first to offer you congratulations if I weren't afraid it might jinx things to say too much now." Ou Yang said with a smile. "However, I am sure she will say yes."

Yong Qi could not help returning that smile with a wide grin. "Well, let us hope so!"

"Do you have a deadline for me, sir?"

"Well, any time before August would be fine."

"Plenty of time, then. I can email you the design at the end of the week and I am sure it will be ready by the end of the month."

Yong Qi nodded and signed the bill that the waiter held out to him along with the credit card.

"You do realise why I can't meet you at home?" Yong Qi asked as they were walking out of the restaurant.

"Of course, sir."

"My father and grandmother knows of my plan, but that's about it."

This was a bit of an understatement. In actuality, telling his father and grandmother of his definite intentions had resulted in a talk with the Prime Minister about a "hypothetical" situation of Yong Qi proposing to Xiao Yan (the Prime Minister was not fooled about the hypothetical nature of the conversation) and whether parliament would choose to disapprove. Of course, Yong Qi knew in this day and age, parliament's explicit approval was always more as a formality than anything, though when spoken of, it always sounded a lot more intimidating. Besides, if parliament wanted to express disapproval they would have done so long before things got this far. Xiao Yan was Chinese, apparently didn't have any family with any political ambitions or radical preferences, and that was all that parliament needed to know. In fact, he had a feeling the more liberal portions of them probably rejoiced at the fact that she was a Han. In any case, the Prime Minister and parliament needn't know when he was going to make his intentions official.

Ou Yang just smiled before shaking Yong Qi's hand, because they have reached the prince's car. Er Kang who was waiting to open the door for Yong Qi, raised an eyebrow as he saw who accompanied the prince. Later, when he slipped into the front seat next to the chauffeur, who remained impassive as if he didn't know who Ou Yang Yu was, Er Kang turned around and looked at Yong Qi in the back seat.

"Really?"

Yong Qi just smiled.

"I don't need the pressure, you know," Er Kang said with mock discontent before turning around as the car backed out of the parking space.

Yong Qi simply smirked.

* * *

_July _

Zi Wei ran from her bedroom down to the living room, tossed aside a cushion and grabbed her bag as the phone continued to ring. She fished it out and saw that it was Yong Qi. "Hello," she answered a little breathlessly.

"You ok?" her brother asked.

"Oh yeah, sure, I just ran around looking for my bag," she said, sitting down on the couch.

"Ok, where are you and is Xiao Yan with you?"

"No, I'm at home."

"Where's Xiao Yan?"

"Somewhere with He Jing, why?"

"Oh great! I want to talk to you!"

"Me? What's going on?"

"I'll come over in a minute, I'll explain then."

"Yong Qi - " But he had already hung up. Zi Wei stared at the phone in her hand. That was weird, especially for Yong Qi. He was apparently keen on seeing her _without_ Xiao Yan knowing. If she wasn't related to him and if she didn't know better, she'd think -

Zi Wei smiled at the absurdity of it and but she was still puzzled, fifteen minutes later, when Yong Qi joined her in the couch of the living room at Shu Fang Zhai.

"What's going on?"

Yong Qi didn't answer but just reached into his pocket and pulled out a small blue velvet box. Zi Wei gasped as she saw it. Her eyes widened even more as Yong Qi opened the box to reveal a ring.

Zi Wei blinked once, then looked up at Yong Qi's rather hopeful face and chuckled, "I love you, Yong Qi, but I really hope you're not planning to offer that to me."

Yong Qi rolled his eyes and set the ring down on the table in front of them. "What do you think?"

"I think you're sitting with the wrong girl."

Yong Qi just shoved her shoulder lightly and said, "Seriously, Zi Wei."

"It's beautiful," Zi Wei smiled. "I think she'd love it."

"Do you think she'd say yes?"

Judging by the slight hesitation in his voice and the way his brows came together slightly in worry, Zi Wei knew he was sincere in his question, though she couldn't understand how he could possibly wonder that. She gave him an encouraging smile and said, "Oh come on. You've been together for almost three years. I'd wonder if she didn't expect it sooner or later."

"Does she? I didn't think Xiao Yan was the kind of girl who would fantasise about weddings."

Zi Wei laughed. "All girls do at some point, you know. Anyway, you know the press have been fighting over this exclusive story for ages and I wonder who would get the first headline up. Who knows with how electronic newspaper work these days. Xiao Yan may not expect it this soon but you know it's definitely a long time coming for the press."

"Do you think I should just wait then? Maybe till she graduates?" he asked worriedly.

It was rather adorable how Yong Qi was genuinely concerned that there might be some small chance that Xiao Yan would say no, but in a way Zi Wei could understand why. She knew that Yong Qi and Xiao Yan had talked about the idea of marriage because it was impossible not to considering how often the press speculated on it, especially recently. They both knew what they were working towards but when that event would take place was always like a pink elephant in the room, always present, never touched on.

"I think she'd say yes, no matter what," Zi Wei told him with a reassuring smile. "Of course you're going to have to wait until she graduates to get married, but I think she might need the time to actually get used to the idea. I mean, I know she'd have thought about it but it won't be so real until she really has that on her finger."

"Yeah I suppose you're right."

"What is it? A pearl and..."

"Emeralds. Emeralds for fidelity and goodness, pearl for purity and love. Well, that's the general idea anyway. Ou Yang Yu was a lot poetical about it."

Zi Wei laughed. "So is there something you want to tell me other than just to show me the ring?"

"I don't know. I just felt like I needed show someone, so that if I start acting weirdly you'd know why and keep Xiao Yan sane or something," Yong Qi said.

"I'm the only one who knows then?"

"No, Huang Ah Ma does, and Grandmother, which I suppose means the Empress knows too. Ou Yang Yu knows of course, he made the ring. And Er Kang was there when I met with Ou Yang so..."

"You might want to let _Xiao Yan_ knows before you tell anyone else," Zi Wei said with a smirk.

"Yeah, but not yet. I do have a plan, you know."

"When?"

"In good time," Yong Qi said. "Speaking of, though, how are you and Er Kang?"

"We're fine," Zi Wei said, "even if he does spend more time with you than he does with me."

Yong Qi laughed. It was an old complaint, really, and he knew Zi Wei didn't really mean it. After Zi Wei came into the palace, Er Kang had been transfered from being Yong Qi's head of security to being Zi Wei (and therefore, by association, Xiao Yan's as well). The change was merely due to a need to have a competent, experienced security officer who Zi Wei knew and can ease her into the system of having such intense security. Yong Qi had merely commented on the loss of having someone who knew so well when to back off without him having to request it, but otherwise, it didn't affect his day to day activities at all.

For Zi Wei, however, somehow during all the time that Er Kang spent protecting Zi Wei, a spark developed between them. As their relationship grew, and eventually was made public, it was obvious that Er Kang's feelings for Zi Wei might affect his decisions regarding her protection. So Er Kang was transferred back to protecting Yong Qi. Then again, Zi Wei and Xiao Yan spent so much time together and Yong Qi spent so much with Xiao Yan that it never really even mattered who exactly Er Kang was on duty for. Still, Er Kang did still have to be on constant alert when on duty, so there were times when Zi Wei would jokingly complain that Yong Qi was commandeering all her boyfriend's attention and time.

"Is he going to ask any time soon?"

"If you don't know, how would I know?" she asked. It was not something they have talked in details about either, but the reason was a lot more relaxed than Xiao Yan and Yong Qi's situation. With Er Kang, Zi Wei was just content to let things develop in its own place. "But I don't mind. Besides the press will be all over you after this becomes public that they probably won't have time to speculate about us so it's good."

"Zi Wei, you underestimate the press' ability to multi-task. Trust me, when they are busy reporting about this, they will also be speculating more than ever when you are getting engaged. This is speaking from experience."

"How so?"

"It wasn't suddenly that the whole world expected me to marry Qing Er. Yong Zhong was getting married then and according to the press, that meant that the rest of us who had a significant other had to do the same."

"Well then maybe the press should be more concerned about our older brothers who aren't married yet before worrying about me. Anyway I won't be putting any pressure on Er Kang so he won't care about pressure from anywhere else."

Yong Qi was about to answer but then Xiao Yan and He Jing's voices sounded out in the hallway. He grabbed the ring off the table and shoved it in his pocket, before turning to greet them.

* * *

_August_

Yong Qi slowly opened the door to Xiao Yan's bedroom, and peeked in, relieved to see that she was still fast asleep. It had taken all his will power to wake up so early to make sure that he was at Shu Fang Zhai before Xiao Yan was awake, especially when his girlfriend had an unnerving ability to just wake up with the dawn. Even Zi Wei was not awake yet and he had startled the staff of Shu Fang Zhai by appearing so early that morning. But considering it was her birthday - or at least the day that the orphanage she grew up in decided was her birthday - he was able to convince the housekeeper to let him in without waking either Zi Wei or Xiao Yan.

He quietly entered the room and closed the door behind him. On the bed, Xiao Yan was facing the wall, but at the slight click of the door as it closed, she turned over to face him. Yong Qi held his breath for a moment, leaning against the door, hoping that she would not wake up just yet. When after a few minutes, Xiao Yan didn't wake up, Yong Qi slowly let out the breath he'd been holding and approached her.

He sat down gently, making sure not to wake her, and just watched her sleep for a long moment. His heart was beating too wildly and for a moment he was absurdly worried that it might actually wake her up. The feelings that rushed through him were not just the anticipation and nervousness of what he was about to do, but also a sense of awe as he realised that if what he was about to do was successful, this would be the first thing that he did every day: watch her sleep, and watch her wake up. Or maybe it would be the other way around; the one doing the sleeping would be him and the one doing the watching would be her. In any case, her face would be what he saw first every morning, and what he saw last at night. The idea made him smile. He wanted to lean down and kiss her, but that surely would wake her, and he needed to do something else before she woke.

Slowly, he picked up her left hand and slipped the ring on her third finger. Then, leaning down, he raised the hand to his lips and gently kissed it.

Xiao Yan stirred again, and this time, her eyelids were fluttering slightly, as she slowly rose to consciousness. Yong Qi supported himself on his elbow and placed tiny kisses on her cheek until she opened her eyes.

"What are you doing here so early?" she mumbled, her eyes and voice still full of sleep.

"Wishing you happy birthday," he whispered.

"It's not really my birthday, you know," she told him, again. He would do something for her "birthday" every year, and every year, she'd remind him that it wasn't really literally her birthday; she didn't really know when her birthday really was. And every year, he told her that everyone deserved to celebrate a birthday and this was hers. He hoped that this year he'd given her another reason to remember this day.

He watched, almost holding his breath again, as she raised her hands to rub sleep from her eyes, which were now closed again. Then, as the ring brushed her face, she froze and frowned in confusion before opening her eyes. Her eyes immediately widened as she saw the ring on her finger and she sat straight up, wide awake now.

"What - " she gasped, staring at the ring first before looking at him. Yong Qi didn't say anything at first, but just smiled at her. "What - what is that?" she whispered, finally, as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"That," Yong Qi smiled, nodding at her hand, "is a ring."

Xiao Yan blinked. "I - Are you - Did you - Yong Qi?" she gasped weakly.

Yong Qi sat up as well and took her left hand in his, saying teasingly, "I think I'm the one who's supposed to be doing the asking."

She still stared at him in amazement, but then gave a small chuckle. Then she said faintly, "You're really going to have to say it, so I know I'm not hallucinating."

Now that the moment was here, Yong Qi couldn't think straight and he wished that he rehearsed something and hadn't thought to leave everything to the emotions of the moment. He struggled for a moment to form words, and the words that eventually came out were not what he expected. It was too whimsical but they were spoken before he could take them back.

"Xiao Yan, in vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. I beg you to relieve my sufferings and consent to be my wife."

There was a short silence. Then, "No."

_What?_

So the words that he said weren't what either of them expected, but the idea was there, so this answer was definitely not the one he was hoping for or expecting. He simply stared at her in horror, opened-mouthed, his heart sinking and ready to break, not noticing the amusement that danced in her eyes until she burst out laughing.

"I'm sorry, that's what you get for quoting a proposal that was rejected! I'm just playing the part!" she said.

A rush of relief swept through him but his heart was still hammering against his chest. She still had not said yes yet.

"It's not the context, it's the sentiment that mattered," he said, pretending to look hurt.

"Well, at least you didn't ask whether I expected you to rejoice the inferiority of my circumstances, to congratulate yourself on gaining relations whose stations were so decidedly below your own," Xiao Yan continued, still not able to curb her amusement. "And you're lucky I didn't quote the entire reply!"

"Xiao Yan," Yong Qi moaned, "please...I'm serious."

She stopped laughing and instead looked at him for a long while with soft, dreamy eyes. "You are, aren't you?"

"Yes. Marry me," he said, taking both of her hands in his and holding tight. Forget fancy speeches and words. There was only one thing that mattered at that moment. "I love you. Marry me, just me, without the famous quotes, without someone's words. Just me and you. Please."

It was probably not the most coherent speech he had ever made in his life, but Xiao Yan apparently didn't mind; her eyes lit up and shined with pure happiness, and she smiled. There was little that was more beautiful to Yong Qi that moment than that smile. "Yes," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Yes, yes, yes, of course I'll marry you."

"Are you sure?" he asked warily but couldn't help but give a shaky laugh at himself.

She giggled, "Definitely." Then she leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. "I love you," she whispered before kissing him again.

"Don't scare me like that again," Yong Qi said against her lips.

"I didn't mean to," she giggled again. "I really didn't mean to say no. Honestly I would say yes to anyone who said to me 'in vain have I struggled', but both the quote and the chance of being someone who would actually say no to a proposal from you was too good to pass up!"

He sat up, leaning against the headboard of the bed, and pulled Xiao Yan into his arms. "Well, one thing's for sure, I'm never quoting Darcy to you again." But he was grinning at her.

"You forget that Darcy isn't supposed to be great with words, I think," she said. "Did you honestly plan to quote that though?"

"No. Actually I wasn't planning anything, I wanted to say whatever I could come up with at that moment."

"And you came up with that," Xiao Yan said, laughing.

"And I came up with that. I should just ask again," he said.

Xiao Yan entwined their fingers together and held up their hands so they could see the ring. "You can, I won't complain, but you know the answer already."

"Which one, the first or the second?"

"Both answers were suitable to the question."

"I guess I was kind of asking for it," he grinned. "It was a bit of a fright though."

"Did you know that in Japan when you are offerred a gift, you're supposed to refuse it at least three times before reluctantly accepting it?" she asked cheekily.

"Yes, but seeing as we are neither Japanese nor in Japan, I don't see why that's relevant. And I wasn't offering you a gift, I was offering you marriage."

"Yeah, but you should know that it is usual with young ladies to reject the addresses of the man whom they secretly mean to accept, when he first applies for their favour; and that sometimes the refusal is repeated a second or even a third time. After all, I should be striving to be an elegant female considering I want to marry into the imperial family, should I not?"

Yong Qi groaned. "I thought we were done quoting _Pride and Prejudice_."

Xiao Yan giggled, "No, you said you were not going to quote _Darcy_ anymore, you didn't say I can't quote Elizabeth."

He burst out laughing. "Love, you're not quoting Elizabeth. You're quoting _Mr Collins!_"

"So what does that make you?" she laughed.

"Confused," he answered. "I would rather you not indulge in the kind of elegance which consists in tormenting a respectable man."

"Then I won't anymore. You know," she said with a sincere smile, "between you, Darcy and Collins, I would much rather marry you."

"I hope so," he whispered, "seeing as I'm real and they're not."

"Thank you, by the way," she said, snuggling up against him.

"For what?"

"For keeping the ring not a diamond. I didn't expect you to actually remember that or to even pick it up at all."

He chuckled, "A normal woman would want a diamond. Your engagement ring is supposed to cost a small fortune. This ring didn't cost me half so much."

"But to make up for it, there is obviously meaning behind your choice of gem, isn't there? A diamond would just mean it's a convention."

"Yes," he smiled, taking her hand and turning it over to reveal the ring. "The emerald is a preservation of love, and faith and fidelity, but it also represents hope and brings the wearer harmony, reason and wisdom. The pearl, on the other hand, symbolises a happy marriage. This is a gold pearl, which is meant to bring prosperity. So there you are, everything I wish for us in our marriage is all in this ring. But no, this isn't exactly a conventional engagement ring. Or at least, modern convention. A traditional convention would involve some sort of jade, but jade doesn't really made a very pretty ring, honestly."

"I don't really want to be conventional, honestly," she smiled, stroking the ring with her other hand.

"Well, your response to the proposal wasn't quite conventional either," he teased.

"You admitted that you asked for it. I can't believe you would actually quote Austen though."

"All the results of a literary education courtesy of He Jing. She's obsessed with that book. And the 95 series. And Colin Firth."

"I know, I'm just amazed that you listen to her enough to remember."

"I think some of it probably seeped through by osmosis or something. Though why are we talking about _Pride and Prejudice,_ where the characters take a few hundred pages to come to an understanding, when we already _have_ an understanding and could be doing other things a lot more interesting?"

"Like what?" she asked coyly.

"Like this." And he leaned in and met her lips in a kiss.

* * *

When they emerged from Xiao Yan's room a while later, they made their way down to the dining room, where Zi Wei was having breakfast.

"Morning," Zi Wei said, looking up, but not looking at all surprised to see Yong Qi already here so early. She just smiled knowingly. "Happy birthday," she told Xiao Yan.

"Not again," Xiao Yan groaned. "It's not really my birthday."

Zi Wei didn't answer that but just smiled at both her brother and friend. Yong Qi wasn't sure whether Xiao Yan had hidden her hand under the table on purpose or not, but he just smiled secretly and helped himself to breakfast. Xiao Yan remained likewise closed-lips and just pulled the paper to her and started reading it. With her right hand. Her left remained under the table, resting just beside Yong Qi's knee.

He could see Zi Wei looking impatiently between them and smiled innocently at her. Of course Zi Wei woud realise the reason for his early arrival that day, even if he didn't tell her of his plan before hand.

"Oh for goodness' sake!" Zi Wei exclaimed finally after they refused to say anything. "Will you just tell me so I can congratulate you?"

"On what?" Xiao Yan feinted ignorance.

"Give me your hand," Zi Wei demanded, holding out her own to take Xiao Yan's hand. "Not that one, the other one!"

Yong Qi chuckled to himself as Xiao Yan, as if trying to taunt Zi Wei, slowly extended her left hand. Zi Wei exclaimed excitedly upon seeing the ring on her friend's finger. "I knew it!" Both Xiao Yan and Yong Qi laughed as she stood up and walked around to their side, hugging them both and kissing them both on the cheek. "Oh this is wonderful, you're going to be my sister!"

"Yeah you can't get rid of me now, can you, Zi Wei?" Xiao Yan asked, laughing.

"Who said I wanted to?"

* * *

A/N: This chapter actually bears little resemblance to what I intended but I think I like this version better. I'll probably not write the wedding because if I do it will become more Will-Kate than the last chapter already is :P. The next chapter might take a while because I will actually have to plot it. Thanks for reading!


	13. Assumed Suitor

**Assumed Suitor**

**In which Xiao Yan really should have realised that assumptions are usually wrong.**

* * *

The professor was – there was no other word for it – _staring _at her.

Xiao Yan and Zi Wei had arrived slightly early for the first lecture of History of Chinese Arts, since the class was held in a slightly obscure building on campus that neither of them had set foot in before, and they thought it would take time navigating around unknown areas of campus. It turned out, the building and the room was easier to find than they expected and when they sat down, there was still a quarter of an hour before class started.

It was a small hall that would probably hold only about thirty in all, but then Xiao Yan knew it would be a small class. It was an elective, after all, and both she and Zi Wei had chosen it on a whim, when no other really interesting class fitted into their schedules.

The lecturer – Dr Fang Yan, as the course description on the university website had informed her when she read about it a couple of weeks before – arrived five minutes before class started and didn't seem too surprised to see there were only four seats filled in all. The class would most likely be taken by students in the last couple years of their degree, and by then not many would be bothered with showing up early to class. For such an elective that was deemed "for fun", or just to fulfill credit requirements, it would have been lucky that half of them would even show up on time.

He nodded once at the two men sitting in the front row before his eyes moved to the place where Xiao Yan and Zi Wei were sitting. Xiao Yan was about to nodd in greeting when the professor's eyes widened at the sight of her. He blinked rapidly for a moment and clearly did a double take, before realising what he was doing and looked awkwardly away. Xiao Yan couldn't help but feel heat creeping up her neck. She snuck a glance at the two men in front of her and breathed a small sigh of relief when they seemed engrossed in conversation and didn't notice the professor's odd reaction. She turned to Zi Wei beside her and saw that though her friend had the phone cradled to her ear, her slightly raised eyebrow indicated that she saw the odd reaction from the professor.

Xiao Yan glanced at the professor, but he was looking now at the computer at the front of the room, opening up presentation slides which now started to appear on the projector screen. It would have been normal, but his reaction earlier and the way he bent low over the computer made it seem that he was trying to avoid looking her direction.

By now, Xiao Yan was more or less used to the random odd looks that came her way every now and then around campus; it came with the territory, after all. But at the same time, the presence of Zi Wei, Yong Qi and Xiao Yan on campus was entirely normal, so no one was ever really shocked to run into any of them. Most of the professors, thankfully, never seemed to treat them any different, in any case. Also, surely the professor must have seen the class list before that morning, so it couldn't have been a surprise to have her in class; with so small a class, it would have been hard to miss her name. Either way, Xiao Yan couldn't push away the feeling it wasn't that he was shocked to find someone connected to the royal family in his class, as he clearly didn't react at Zi Wei's presence, but rather, he was shocked at _Xiao Yan. _She had no idea why she should trigger such a reaction and squirmed nervously in her seat, hoping that this wasn't an indication of the rest of the semester would go in this class.

"He's a guest lecturer from the University of Tokyo," Zi Wei whispered, making Xiao Yan turn to her. She didn't know when Zi Wei had opened her laptop, but she turned the screen towards Xiao Yan to show that she had opened up Professor Fang Yan's profile page on the university website. "He's only here for this year."

"But he's Chinese, though?"

"Yeah, but based in Tokyo."

Xiao Yan snuck a glance towards the front of the room and for a split moment, caught the professor's eyes looking her direction, before he turned away again.

By then, the lecture hall was filling up and Xiao Yan was momentarily distracted when one of their friends, Sai Ya, slid into the seat next to her.

"I didn't know you two were taking this class," she said.

"This was the only interesting-sounding class that fitted in our schedule," Xiao Yan answered.

"Though maybe Xiao Yan's regretting the choice a bit," Zi Wei said with a smirk, which earned her a glare from Xiao Yan.

"How come?"

"The professor," Zi Wei said.

"Why? He's _gorgeous_!" Sai Ya said.

Xiao Yan rolled her eyes. Trust Sai Ya to be the first to point out that there was an attractive male in the room.

"Don't you have a _boyfriend_? You know, some future brother-in-law of my friend here, named Er Tai?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I can't look. But seriously, isn't he?"

From the whispers around her, Xiao Yan knew that more than one girl in the class agreed with Sai Ya's assessment of the young professor, who, now that she really looked, couldn't be older than thirty. If he hadn't been weirding her out with his bizarre looks, Xiao Yan would have to admit that he was easy on the eyes as well.

"So why don't you like him?" Sai Ya asked.

"It's not that I don't like him, I don't even know him. It's just…he's been looking at me weird."

"Maybe he just likes what he sees," Sai Ya giggled.

"I'd believe that, if he didn't look at me like he's seeing a ghost," she whispered, just as the professor called the room to attention and prevented Sai Ya from replying.

Granted, he was a good lecturer. He managed to keep the attention of the students at 8am on a Monday morning by walking around the room, making jokes and drawing pop culture references that probably made him seemed cool. All in all, the only real complaint that Xiao Yan had about the entire class was that he either avoided looking at her entirely or simply stared directly at her for a few intense seconds before averting his eyes in a not-so-innocent way. She was surprised that no one except Zi Wei and Sai Ya beside her noticed.

"You know, I do have to admit it got a little creepy by the end of the class," Sai Ya said as they walked out of the room later.

"For you to say this means that I didn't imagine all that."

"Maybe you should just go ask him what his problem is," Sai Ya said.

"That would be an awkward conversation," Zi Wei said, chuckling.

"He can't spend the entire semester staring at me, can he?"

"Hey, don't tempt it, it might actually happen," was Sai Ya's reply before she left for her next class.

* * *

"So…someone other than my friend here finds you attractive, huh?" Er Tai asked her a few days later when they were having lunch with Yong Qi.

"What?"

Xiao Yan simply glared and tried to wave down Yong Qi's question. "Nothing. Er Tai, shut up."

Er Tai didn't seem fazed and just grinned even more widely. "Sai Ya tells me me that their History of Chinese Arts professor spent an entire lecture staring at Xiao Yan."

"Not the _entire _- "

"Hah! So you deny the 'entire lecture' part and not the staring part."

"Will you shut up?"

Er Tai simply gave her a wicked grin while Yong Qi looked on with fascination. "No, I think I need to get to the bottom of this."

"Did your girlfriend also tell you that she thought he was hot?"

"Hey, I'd be worried if she wasn't capable of appreciating other attractions, just as long as she doesn't act on them. But you're changing the subject."

"So what if I am?"

"Come on, Xiao Yan, cheer up. He might not like you at all. You might just remind him of his great aunt or something."

"What?" she shrieked.

"I'm just saying that, no offense or anything, unlike girls in cliched paranormal romance novels and fairy tales that people like to equate you to, you're rather ordinary and you don't exactly have guys falling at your feet…"

"Is any of that supposed to make me feel better or something?"

"…Then again, considering the claim on you, not many guys would want to try to compete."

Xiao Yan turned to Yong Qi with a frustrated groan. "Will you please say something already? When you're silent like this it's never a good thing."

Yong Qi laughed. "What do you want me to say? 'Oh good, some weird, creepy man who may or may not be old, considering you've told me nothing about this class and only now I understand why, is staring at you'?"

"Nah, if he was a creepy old man then it would be less interesting," Er Tai said, grinning. "What is interesting is that, he is young and not bad looking, according to Sai Ya at least. And you know Sai Ya is only attracted to men who are irresistibly handsome."

"Then why is she going out with you?" Yong Qi asked.

Xiao Yan laughed.

"Hey, I am irresistible, my friend, and on my own merit, unlike you. If we were lesser friends, I would have even gotten Xiao Yan here to go out with me if I wanted."

"Yeah, sure, dream on," Xiao Yan said.

"You would have fallen for my irresistible charms if I turned it your direction."

"But I wouldn't have fallen for your irresistible vocabulary," Xiao Yan shot back.

"No, seriously though," Er Tai said after they've stopped laughing, "what are you going to do about it?"

"Ignore it," Yong Qi said, shrugging.

"Not go to class," Xiao Yan said at the same time.

Er Tai gasped. "You? Ditch class? Scandalous!"

Xiao Yan resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "It's an elective, it has no exams, the only assessments are in handing in papers that all could be researched without actually going to lectures. It's not as if I can't pass without the lectures, and besides, there's always Zi Wei."

"Wouldn't it be easier to just drop it and take something else?" Yong Qi asked.

"The only other subject that fits with my schedule is Dystopian Literature. I don't think I want to spend an entire semester reading and analysing nuclear disasters, murder, rape, depression and suicide."

"Isn't that what literature _is_, in general?" Er Tai asked, amused. "I used to think it couldn't be considered great literature if it didn't contain at least one of those aspects."

"Most of the time, yes, but at least not exclusively. There are the odd comedies and Austen romances."

"Well, it's healthy to skip class every now and then. You'll tell me how that works out, won't you?"

"How what works out?"

"Not going to class and the staring professor."

"Why are you so interested?"

Er Tai grinned. "Maybe I'm just concerned for Yong Qi."

"I think that makes one of us," Yong Qi said, laughing.

* * *

"So Professor Fang asked me after class why you weren't in class today," Zi Wei told her a few weeks later.

"It's mid-term week, how many _actually_ came to probably the only class that didn't have a mid-term exam?"

"That's the point," Zi Wei replied. "He looked pretty resigned to half the class not showing up and even made a joke about it being mid-term week and how he should have set a mid-term for this class to ensure people would actually show up. But then he held me back after class to ask why you haven't been coming for the last couple of weeks."

"And you told him what?"

"I just said that you've been busy with a project for another class."

"Did he believe it?"

"Probably not, and normally I don't think it would matter as long as you do all the assignments but to be honest I'm starting to think there's something funny about his attention to you."

Xiao Yan stared at her friend. "Only _now _do you start to think that? Why do you think I haven't been going to class? I really haven't been that busy with any other project, you know. Actually, I really planned to do use today's class time to study for my Interpreting mid-term but it was too early and it's Monday morning and I couldn't be bothered so I just went and wasted two hours on fanfic dot net."

"No, I just meant that yes, it was weird that he seemed to can't take his eyes off you when you are in class, but the fact that he actually approached me to ask about you just takes it to a whole new level. Actually he looked like he was going to start asking more but then he didn't."

"Now I'm starting to get paranoid that he might be stalking me."

Zi Wei laughed. "I think between the time you spend with me and the time you spend with Yong Qi, one of our security people would have noticed if anyone was stalking you."

"True. I guess this is when I am grateful for the security that surrounds you guys."

Xiao Yan had to admit that, Zi Wei did have a point in saying that all this was taking things to another level. Though they've always talked about the professor's bizarre attention to her in a half-joking, half-serious manner, silent unwanted attention was one thing, but to be subtly (or not-so-subtly) asking her friend about her when such enquiries were clearly out of place was definitely something else to consider. It couldn't just be because she hadn't been going to class. She knew for a fact that Sai Ya skipped as many of his classes as she did, for all her vocal proclamation that he was attractive, though her reason for ditching was entirely rebelliousness than anything else. There were plenty of people like Sai Ya who ditched class simply because they _could, _whether they could afford to or not (Sai Ya could, she seemed to pass with flying colours no matter how infrequently she went to class). How did Professor Fang know that Xiao Yan wasn't the same? Most her other classes were a lot bigger and the professors wouldn't care or could even keep track of whether you went to lectures or not so it wasn't as if he could ask other professors of her attendance record to their classes (and the idea that he might do that was really creepy).

It had gone beyond the possibility that he might just fancy her. The very idea of that was already weird in the first place, not because he was either too old or because he was a professor, but simply because she wasn't even used to that kind of attention. Her relationship status was more public than it could ever be even if she advertised it on Facebook. If decent guys did take a fancy to her, they probably gave up on the idea of expressing it the moment they knew her name or recognised her face. She had met not-so-decent guys and received unwelcome propositions, of course, but never quite this odd, intense scrutiny followed by investigation like this.

"You do have to come to class next week anyway, to get your paper back. You could hand it in online but he specifically said that he would only hand back the essay in person," Zi Wei said, breaking her out of her thoughts.

"It's one class, and what's the worst that can happen, right?"

"Do you know that Er Tai and Sai Ya have a bet going about whether he'd ask you out?"

"What? You can't be serious."

"It's true."

"Now I'm not sure whether I should be offended or not. It just seem like Er Tai was more serious than joking when he said he was worried for Yong Qi, which just shows what he thinks of me."

"You know Er Tai, he's just being a good friend and sometimes I think Er Kang's job rubs off on him so he thinks _he _needs to protect Yong Qi when Er Kang isn't there, though if it makes you feel better, Er Tai is convinced that he would ask you out but you wouldn't say yes."

"Let's hope he's convinced of that!" Xiao Yan retorted. "Though why he should care so much is beyond me, Yong Qi is not worried, actually I think he thinks it all kind of funny that I would resort to skipping classes because of this."

"I think Yong Qi would be a lot more bothered, just on principle more than for lack of trust in you, if he was actually witnessing this," Zi Wei said, chuckling. "And it's not as if Er Tai trusts you less, but you know how Sai Ya is prone to exaggeration."

"I wasn't aware that Sai Ya was going to class either."

"She wasn't, but she did go to that first one. As laid back as Er Tai could be about some things, there are other things that don't take much to get him wound up."

"It's incredible how what seemed like such a simple decision at the time could end up causing so much drama in your life," Xiao Yan sighed. "I can't wait for this semester to be over and get out of that class."

* * *

The dreaded class was not as bad as she anticipated on the whole. Her essay had received a decent enough grade, considering she worked it off Zi Wei's notes. The professor seemed to pay her not much more attention than anyone throughout the whole class. If it wasn't for the fact that he had specifically asked Zi Wei after her the week before, Xiao Yan would have been almost convinced that she had imagined the odd attention of the first couple of weeks.

And then came the end of the class.

"Miss Xia Xiao Yan, would you stay for a moment, please?"

She held back a sigh and silently hoped that he only wished to discuss her essay. She could feel both Sai Ya and Zi Wei pause in their progress of packing up their things and glance at her. She turned to give them a "I'll be fine" sort of smile and watched them leave the room.

Xiao Yan approached the desk at the front of the room where the professor was sitting but he seemed determined to wait until everyone was out of the room before speaking. He only shook his head slightly when she asked whether he wanted to speak to her about her essay.

Finally, when the door closed behind the last person, he spoke.

"I know this is going to sound really weird and insane, but will you have dinner with me today?"

Xiao Yan stared at him for what must have been a full ten second. She wasn't sure why it was so startling to hear these words. After all, hadn't she and her friends half-joked, half-expected something like this? Then again, she didn't quite think such an invitation would come so suddenly without any preliminaries like this.

Finally, she managed to stammer, "Er…you know I'm engaged, right?" She held up her left hand to demonstrate the point.

It was now his turn to look shocked. "You are?"

Xiao Yan blinked. "Clearly you don't read the tabloids," she muttered, more to herself than to him.

Then again, he did live in Japan. Xiao Yan was sure she didn't know the name of the Japanese crown prince's wife.

"Why? Why would your engagement be in the tabloids?" He was looking alarmed and genuinely confused.

"Never mind. If you don't know, it's none of your business."

It was probably slightly rude, but if he didn't know, she was sure she didn't want to be the one to tell him exactly who she was engaged to. If he didn't know, then he didn't need to know.

He looked at her for a moment, before nodding. "Ok. So will you have dinner with me?"

She raised an astonished eyebrow. "I just said I'm not single."

"What does that have to do – "

"What does that have to do with going out with you? Are you kidding?"

He looked at her for a moment, then promptly burst out laughing. She didn't know what else to do but purse her lips in annoyance. What exactly did he find so amusing about this situation?

"You think I'm asking you out on a date?"

"Are you saying that you're not?" she asked in annoyance.

"No!" he said, still laughing.

She suddenly felt defensive. "I'm sorry if I read all the normal social cues in your behaviour – "

"No, no, it's not that at all. Look." He took out his wallet and showed her an aged photo, leading her to the first row of seats to sit down. "This is my mother when she was young."

Xiao Yan took the photo and found herself looking at someone who looked…almost exactly like herself. The shape of the face was slightly different, but the person in the photo had the same eyes and nose as herself. Her heart seemed to skip a beat as she looked at the photo. Sure, in this country of a billion people, there were people that looked like each other, but this resemblance was uncanny.

"What does this mean?" she asked, looking up at him. She didn't want to come to any conclusion herself regarding this photo, not when she wasn't sure she could take the emotions that might come with such conclusion.

"I have a younger sister, the same age as you. She was kidnapped when she was barely a year old and my family never managed to find her."

Xiao Yan bit down on her lower lip to stop emotions from overtaking her and struggled to beat down the wild hope that was threatening to rise in her heart. She wasn't quite ready to believe all that he seemed to imply just yet.

"And…?"

"I have to admit, I did a search of your information on the university database and you didn't have your parents listed. Usually they are listed even if deceased."

She looked up at him and found that he had a sort of desperate look on his face, as if he was as unwilling as she to speak out loud the inevitable conclusion from all this, for fear that it might not be true.

"Why aren't your parents' information listed in your file?" he asked when she didn't say anything.

"I never knew who my parents are," she said slowly. "I grew up in an orphanage."

"So…"

"You can't know that I am – "

"What I know, is that you look too much like my mother for it to be a coincident."

Her mind and heart felt overloaded and she hardly dared to look at him. But for all that she had avoided him these few weeks, his face now seemed etched in her mind, and she couldn't help but start to recognise certain familiar features, but was that all her imagination, wishing things into being? Could it be true, that they might somehow, miraculously, be related? Could he really be what he was suggesting: her brother? And was it possible that she had simply been lost to her family and not abandonned at like she had always believed? She wasn't sure she could believe it. How could you suddenly in a moment sweep away the belief that you've held all your life? That belief had allowed her to depend on herself her whole life, and she wasn't sure how she could take the possibility of the opposite.

"What if it _is _a coincident?"

"That's why I wanted to ask you to have dinner with me, so we could maybe talk and find out whether it could be a coincident or not."

The idea that he had been staring at her all this time and asked her out because he fancied her seemed now absurd and silly. But the idea that he wanted to ask her to have dinner with him because of _this_ was even more insane. It made her almost paralysed with fear. She wasn't sure whether she wanted something like this to be true. Perhaps that was a stupid thought, for how could she not want to know whether she had a family? But someohow, at the same time, the very idea of a family that she never knew that made her terrified. Then there was the letting in the possibility and then finding out it wasn't true after all. She didn't think she could deal with that.

Before either of them could say anything else, her phone rang. She pulled it out and saw that it was Zi Wei. She was probably in here for too long and Zi Wei was worried. She shot an apologetic look at Fang Yan, but decided to answer the call. The world seemed to have been pulled out from under her feet and she needed to hear something reassuring at that moment, and nothing was more reassuring than Zi Wei's voice, even if she was asking:

"Are you all right?"

"Yes," she said in a shaky voice that betrayed the opposite. For a moment, she could practically hear Zi Wei's disbelief. "Actually, no. Can you come in here please?"

She didn't think to wonder whether Fang Yan cared for Zi Wei being there right then, but she needed Zi Wei's comforting presence. She wasn't sure anything in her head made sense at that moment, and only Zi Wei could help sort it out for her.

"Sorry, I should have asked whether you have anything after this." Fang Yan said.

"No, I don't have anything. I just need – " she trailed off as the door opened and Zi Wei walked in.

"What's going on?" she asked as she approached them and sat down beside Xiao Yan.

Xiao Yan looked hopelessly at Fang Yan and he seemed to understand, as he proceeded to tell Zi Wei what they've suspected so far.

"So let me get this straight," Zi Wei said when he'd finished, "from the beginning of the semester, all those stares and odd looks and attention was all because you thought you might be her _brother_?"

Fang Yan nodded and Zi Wei looked like she was holding back a smile.

"It's not funny," Xiao Yan said, though she could see how it kind of was. If things weren't so horribly confusing right now, she'd see the humour as well. Thankfully, Zi Wei didn't contradict her.

"You know there's a relatively straight forward way to figure out whether you're related or not, right?" Zi Wei asked.

"What's that?" Xiao Yan asked faintly.

"Xiao Yan, you were there. Huang Ah Ma didn't exactly just take it all on faith that I was his daughter, you know."

"Oh, that."

"Yes, that." Then, apparently for Fang Yan's benefit as he was looking between them in confusion, she elaborated, "DNA test."

"I – well, I guess it could come to that eventually, just to make sure, but for now, I'm just saying that we should just…for lack of better word, get to know each other first."

Xiao Yan could see the merit in that suggestion. Now that the possibility had sunk in a bit, she suddenly realised if he had suspected a connection between them from the first time she had attended his class, and then she proceeded to avoid his class for weeks, then it meant that he had to carry this suspicion around with him for weeks without being able to even discover more about it. She had unknowingly made the entire situation even more confusing and probably painful for him by avoiding him. For all that he endured, it was a wonder that he didn't seek her out more actively.

The last time she had experienced such mind-blowing misunderstanding was when the Emperor nearly mistook her for his own daughter. Could it be possible that it could happen a second time, and somehow this was all a grand misunderstanding after all? Or was the fact that she misread his intention was the misunderstanding in itself?

"All right," she said finally. "Clearly, we do need to sit down and talk properly. But does it have to wait till dinner?" She wasn't sure that she could wait until that evening to have some more concrete understanding. She would be undone for the entire day as it was. Somehow, he seemed unnervingly calm considering all things and that intimidated her even more. But then again, perhaps he'd had the practice after all these weeks.

"Yes, unfortunately," he said. "I have another class in half an hour and then classes and meetings for the rest of the day." Then, he smiled. "And unlike you, I don't have the luxury of skipping any of it."

She tried to look regretful, but couldn't manage to.

"I wouldn't have this talk in a public place though," Zi Wei said.

"No, I think that would spell disaster," Xiao Yan agreed. "I guess you could come to ours because I don't think I take any of it in an unfamiliar place."

"Where exactly do you live?" he asked.

Xiao Yan and Zi Wei exchanged looks. She had gathered that he was quite in the dark regarding her relationships and probably would only be familiar with her friendship with Zi Wei. She wondered whether she should really let him in so deep, though if he was in any way related to her, he would eventually know anyway. Then again, it wasn't as if anything she was about to reveal now was a national secret. If he wanted to find out, it was easy enough anyway.

"You could dig out lack of information about my parents but couldn't find my address?" Xiao Yan asked dryly.

"There are things on the student database that is restricted."

"I suppose you won't be able to just walk up and ring to doorbell," Xiao Yan said slowly.

"Why not?"

"Because I live with her," she said, nodding towards Zi Wei.

"As in, in the _palace_?"he asked, astonished. "I mean, I knew you two were friends, but I didn't think you actually would, or could, for that matter, live together."

They let that commend slide and didn't explain, because he would understand soon enough. Arrangements were simply made for them to meet at the end of the day and he would go home with them.

Zi Wei, on the other hand, apparently felt that Xiao Yan wasn't giving enough information because she felt the need to drop this comment:

"I guess we can expect Yong Qi to be over tonight too? He might as well know, right?"

Xiao Yan gave her friend a sidelong glare. This wasn't exactly how she planned to drop this information.

"Your brother Yong Qi?" Fang Yan asked before Xiao Yan could say anything. Well, at least he wasn't totally clueless as to who was being talked about.

"Yes."

"Why would he be there tonight?"

Xiao Yan sighed. "Because that's who I'm engaged to."

Of all the probably shocking things that Fang Yan had just learnt about her, somehow, he seemed flabbergasted by this news. In fact, he gaped at her for a moment, looking even uncomfortable about the idea.

"You are engaged to the Fifth Prince?"

"Yes," she said.

"Seriously?"

"_Yes._"

"This is going to be interesting," he murmured, more to himself than to her.

"How so?"

"Did I say that out loud?"

"Yes."

"Well…if you must know, and I suppose you should, our family is very…anti-monarchy. Actually, we moved away from China because of that."

Xiao Yan stared blankly at him for a moment. Then, "To _Japan_?"

"Yes," he answed, apparently not seeing her point.

"Where it's also another constitutional monarchy with another emperor."

"It's…complicated," Fang Yan said, glancing at Zi Wei. "Can we talk about this later?"

Xiao Yan considered the strangeness of his sudden wariness, since he hasn't before this seemed uncomfortable around Zi Wei before. Whatever political issues he had with the monarchy, she at least hoped that he wouldn't come to have personal problems with Zi Wei and Yong Qi. It occurred to her that he hadn't yet expressed any pleasure, either for her or otherwise, at the news of her engagement. But then again, with how confusing their entire acquaintance had been, she supposed she could give him the benefits of the doubt. Perhaps it would be good for him to meet Yong Qi so soon, so that he could be used to the very real idea of Yong Qi's presence in her life.

"All right," she said finally.

Whatever his issues, this was hardly the time to get too worked up about them. They barely knew each other (which, she supposed, was partly her fault). She should just get that first date, for lack of better word, over first and determine whether they really could be related before moving on to other endlessly more complicated issues.

* * *

_A/N: It's been ages, I know. But I'm getting there. I was going to keep going with this, but then realised to write the meeting after this would take way too long, so I thought I would just update this much first._

_You can tell how long it's been since I wrote this story by the fact that I called her Xiao Yan Zi a couple of times (including in the chapter summary) and posted it like that and then had to go back and edit it. I wonder whether anyone managed to catch that unedited version.  
_


End file.
